I have been married for 7 years now and recently an old highschool sweetheart of mine told me she is coming to my area to visit. She asked if i would like to get together just to say Hi. Now i have no interest in her romantically but wouldn't mine catching up a bit. My wife I do not think would mind (of course I would discuss it wither her before hand). however if the situation were reveresed i would not be ok with her meeting up with her ex. so the questions are 1 should i visit with the HS sweetheart 2 should i feel badly about being such a hypocrite?
2006-08-29 07:48:56 · 27 answers · asked by jude D 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sometimes situations are different for the different partners in a relationship. Maybe you have a reason to be scared of your wife out with her old hs sweetheart (he was the one who did xyz that she'll never forget, and it was so wonderful, and it's okay honey, he's in the past... oh, hey... we're meeting next week) and your old hs sweetheart was too nervous to shake your hand. I would say talk over both the seeing of your old hs sweetheart, and how you would feel if your wife asked for it, and why you would feel that way, and then she can decide. Leave the decision in her hands completely. Make it clear to her that she's not a bad person if she says she'd rather you didn't, but also tell her that her answer has to be what she really feels, she can't say yes and then get jealous or say no and then feel guilty. Her answer is final, and must therefore be truthful. She can't expect you to make a decision based on only part of what she thinks.
2006-08-29 08:02:52 · answer #1 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a female I would not mind the meeting of an old HS flame provided I were there and this old friend had a new flame of her own otherwise I'd question why she wanted to see you after all these years. I was curious about an old flame myself and it was because I was still interested in him, so I know how people can think. Good Luck!
2006-08-29 08:25:31 · answer #2 · answered by been there 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should feel badly about being a hypocrite. You're trying to use the antiquated double standard, it's ok for you but not her. What if she objected to your meeting with your old HS sweetheart...I doubt you'd be willing to comply with her wishes and would figure out a way to meet up with this woman anyway.
2006-08-29 07:52:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't meet her because it could stir up some old feelings or you might be disappointed about how much weight she gained...just kidding she might be out of whack and other unexpected issues...
My husband, before we got married had met with a girl from HS that had a crush on him, he thought it would be fun to meet, long story short, she became a stalker.
If you want to get together with her anyway, ask your wife what she thinks and prepare for a long night...
2006-08-29 07:56:31 · answer #4 · answered by adel e 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go... obviously you ex sweetheart didn't want you now wants you say get bent to her... she's sabotaging your marriage give the relationship your in a try...
Why waste all the emotions and energy into an ex when you have someone that needs that instead and is there?
Give the the relationship ur in respect and a fighting chance don't hurt the one your with.
U never know what u got till it's gone.... believe me on that!!
2006-08-29 07:53:59 · answer #5 · answered by thought 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer to 1. and 2. is the same. Talk it over with your wife honestly. Tell her exactly what you just said to us and find out how she feels. Take her with you to meet the old sweetheart and you have no problems at all.
2006-08-29 07:51:33 · answer #6 · answered by Christina 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Until you mentioned that if the situation was reversed you would not approve, I was going to tell you to go ahead and meet her.
I don't think you are a hypocrite, actually, I just think you are allowing your typical male ego to get the best of you.
But the issue I see that you apparently don't is : if this is just a friendly reunion, why are you getting so worked up about it?
2006-08-29 07:53:04 · answer #7 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What about taking your wife WITH you...that should be an option. If it were me, I wouldn't mind my significant other meeting an old flame for dinner or whatever, but you're not being right in doing the double standard thing...
If nothing else, invite her to ya'lls place for dinner
2006-08-29 07:51:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should feel bad about being a hypocrite, but i'd meet up with the high school friend. Might be fun! Bring wife along!
2006-08-29 07:51:09 · answer #9 · answered by moveplease 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well that all depends on you. If you want to catch up with her and your wife says its ok then go ahead. Just try not to get jealous if your wife ever met up with her ex. You never know you all might just become friends.
2006-08-29 07:54:25 · answer #10 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋