Husband had affair, he wanted to come back home and work on our marriage. After working on our marriage, we found out a month later that she is pregnant. I have beautiful children and at my wits end as to what I need to do best.
2006-08-29 07:38:13 · 17 answers · asked by momof2 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
that really is a personal choice. You should sit down with him and with his ex mistress and talk together. He could be telling you bull crap and secretly still seeing her.
2006-08-29 07:42:11 · answer #1 · answered by KrazyK784 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is all up to you on what you should do about the marriage. Are you really going to listen to us people who answer this,probably not. You need to think, am I going to love this child and let the baby come into the home knowing it was a product of an affair. Am I going to treat this child with love,respect, and kindness because it really wasn't the childs fault. Am I going to trust my husband after he had an affair on me. If you can handle these things then I say go back if not then you should leave.
2006-08-29 14:44:55 · answer #2 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot get an answer here...this is in your court only. There is no reason NOT to expect him to wander off again as soon as he thinks you are hooked...he has proven his true colors, left, didn't get all he bargained for, and wants the old back..today! Tomorrow, he will remember why he left in the first place, go searching again, get someone else pregnant, and then want to come back home....Girl, get a grip! You know I am telling the truth, and you know what I am saying is right. But it is your choice. IF you want to see him support this child AND yours for the next umpteen years, then do what you want. BUT Please, don't come back next month when he has left again and ask, "What do I do now?" The answer will be the same...call a lawyer, get child support in place immediately..you have children and you do NOT have the right to toy with their lives, his coming and going and coming and going are going to tear them apart, AND they need money to be raised right. Once the child support is in place, then you do whatever YOU want to do, but you owe it to your children to make sure they are safe...he will not pay out of generosity, I can guarantee that one!
2006-08-29 14:47:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a most difficult dilemma.
My first question would be : is your husband certain the child is his? A paternity test will determine that.
If the child is his, then you have a great deal to think about.
If you go to marriage counseling you can talk this through with a professional. I admire you for your strength of character to try to find a way to work through this...
Best of luck to you.
2006-08-29 14:45:58 · answer #4 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a paternity test done on them. You have to be sure it's his baby. That will have to be done to get child support anyway. If in fact it is his baby, and this bother's you call a divorce lawyer as soon as you find out. I don't think you'll be able to live with this the rest of your life. When trust is gone it's over in my book. Forgiving a man for cheating only let's him off the hook to do it again.
2006-08-29 14:58:55 · answer #5 · answered by Credit Expert 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you were already working out your problems before you found out about the pregnancy. It isn't the child's fault and he/she shouldn't have to suffer because of it. If you can accept the child and your husband being a part of it's life then good luck to you.
2006-08-29 14:47:43 · answer #6 · answered by sexyladyinak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are really up for the challenge and can not let it haunt you then I say work it out b/c we all know you will be the one taking care when the kid is around and what not. I say follow your gut. If you know it ain't going to work just get out early and don't waste any more of your time on it. Good luck
2006-08-29 16:06:45 · answer #7 · answered by BettieRulz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me this represents an ultimate betrayal. Not only did he cheat on his wife AND children..he didnt even use protection. Not only could he be bringing an outside the marriage child into the world...he could be bringing YOU an STD. Do what you feel but for me his asss would be out! out! out!
2006-08-29 14:48:22 · answer #8 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is tough you are going to need marriage/family counseling for sure. What you have gone through affects you deeply and will affect you for the rest of your life.
2006-08-29 14:43:37 · answer #9 · answered by Rita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey i agree with Angela, does he know if the child is his? Is she really pregnant....Women tends to fake pregnancies just to keep a man more so married man!
You guys definitely hve to seek professional help........ Gooodluck though
2006-08-29 14:50:22 · answer #10 · answered by Miss-Kenya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course he wants to come home....he never wanted to leave in the first place....he just wanted "some" on the side. Now that he's totally screwed everything and I mean literally screwed everything....why wouldn't he want to come home and hide?
2006-08-29 14:50:55 · answer #11 · answered by Tony 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋