What can I do for my 10 year old to stop peeing on himself when he is awake?

Question

I am a step mother to my 10 year old boy. His mother left when he was 4 years old. I do understand that peeing on himself may be a pychological thing, thus his mom leaving him & feeling abandoned might play a factor to his peeing. My husband and I raise both children- he has custody. Anyway, I have tried from rewards systems, to spanking him, wrtiting standards, taking things away from him such as his videogames, baseball cards, and his train collection that he adores, tv, radio. We have talked to him, yelled at him, he has had group theapy... nothing seems to work. He continues to pee every single day- it seems like part of his routine everyday. My last resort is to drop it right? Let him be....perhaps he will realize that is wrong to pee on himself. My son refuses to ask to go to the restroom when he needs to, or stop from playing to go. I think its laziness on his end.... We are contstantly reminding him of going to the restroom. What more can I do to help him learn & have him stop?

Answer 1

i would say buy pull-ups, get depends if he is to big, but you should take him to the doctor, clearly something is wrong with him.

Answer 2

Well first off smacking a kid for an involuntary physical action is NOT going to stop it. That's akin to saying "I'll GIVE you something to cry about" it does nothing to alleviate the problem and everything to make it worse. He may have a weak set of muscles that he cannot yet control - this is something he and his dad can work on so the boy doesn't feel any more inadequate than he does now. Dad should be able to explain certain muscle movements that relate to holding it back - as a woman you are clueless in this matter (just like a man doesn't know how we pee) - treat the problem in a respectful manner as you should treat the child - this too shall pass (or if all goes right it won't pass til he's at the urinal). Please don't publicly humiliate this boy by making a big deal about this or making him wear pull ups. Have you also considered that there may in fact be an underlying medical problem - I notice a physician wasn't on your list? Kidney or bladder illness.

Shame how so many blame the lazy child without considering anything other than punishment as a deterrent.

Answer 3

Wow, that's a profound problem.

First of all, I'd suggest counseling. It seems like if he's normal in most other ways, that this may be an issue best discussed with a professional. The group therapy might have come up short, because it doesn't tend to address individuals' needs.

The next suggestion I have is to have him be 100% responsible for washing up, washing his clothes, and changing into clean clothes....(assuming you have a washer/dryer in you home.) Washing clothes isn't hard, a 10 year old should have no problem learning how.

He may be seeking attention, and by having you guys clean up after him (if that's in fact what happens!) he's getting attention, albeit a bit less-than-ideal quality time.

I feel for you, this is a tough one.....but it's time to address this now, because the next few years are going to be very important in his lifetime development.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Well it does seem as if there is some laziness involved, and yes it does seem as if you have done everything you know how to do, but If I were you I would make this a matter of prayer to God, now I don't know if you believe in God or not but it will truely make the difference. Also you should put him on the toilet every 2 hours. It has been my experience that when you toilet people every 2 hours they become regimented to go. Now if he doesn't want to continue to go this way he will start to go when he has to, but you must make him even if he doesn't want to. Eventually he will make it a priority to go when he has to because he doesn't want to go every 2 hours. I work in the nursing field, believe me. Try both things that I suggested to you and see if it will work I believe it will work. Good luck!

Answer 5

Wow!! You have tried everything. Now my initial reacton is bust his *** and teach him how to run a washer and drier and make him go naked until his clothes are done, but! He probably hasn't seen the right doctor yet. I think you are on track for getting help. It almost sounds like there are some underlying problems.

Answer 6

I have the feeling he is punishing YOU for his motherleaving him. Make his life as inconvenient as he is making life for you. Make him go to the washroom every hour, regardless of what he is doing, and make him handwash the clothes he pees. He will soon get over the urge to punish everybody else when the only one being punished is him.

ps. make sure that he is right in the middle of something he enjoys doing when you make him go to the bathroom, like 8 minutes into his favourite tv show.

Answer 7

Are you telling me that the 6 year previous would not see the counselor anymore because she has determined that she would not favor to? i imagine I see the region. Make her wash out the garments through hand - see if that helps her use the lavatory. She desires to appreciate that it is unacceptable habit and it really is surely not tolerated.

Answer 8

The only things you have not listed are embarrassing him and therapy. My thoughts are with you...good luck.