Do you think husband is trying to move back in?

Question

My husband walked out on me and kids 2 months ago, he started coming around more often after no chasing him.Lately he spent the night for the past four nights and then said he has to go where he is paying rent at since work week started back.(wants to get what he paid for)but he also still helps out with money for us. Do ya'll think he is slowly coming back around or do you think he is full of ****. I still am in love with him. Please give best advice in understanding this it hurts me. He won't tell me straight forward answer the only thing he says is I do not want to rush back in to anything. And our sex is only on and off at first he said we do not need to have sex unless we are going to be together than he ended up having sex with me I took it as we were together,again he said know he's not ready yet. But we are married is it easy for a guy to get up and walk away? What can I do to keep my mind off of things I donot want to do anything I regret.

Answer 1

Why did he walk out in the first place? I mean you both you should go into counselling before he moves back in as do you want him to walk out again? That would only confuse your kids and that is not a right example to teach them. I would hold off on the sex as well until you both do some marriage counselling and find out why he walked out in the first place.

He sounds like maybe he doesn't know what he wants and maybe has some growing up to do.

Honestly, if my husband walked out on me - I wouldn't be opening the door for him until he proved himself that he REALLY wanted to be there and would stay there! Good luck!

Answer 2

Your husband is a child. He has no ability to make committments to you or anyone else. IT is not necessarily his fault, but somewhere along the line, he has been sidetracked on the train of life. HE vowed when he married you, but the vows meant nothing to him. This on-again off-again stuff just doesn't get it, does it? At his point, there is no reason to do anything. IF you do not mind him coming over, having sex occasionally, big deal. Time will settle things out. BUT, everyday you do this is a day wasted if he is not going to commit to you....and the likelyhood of this happening in the near future doesn't look so good. HE not only walked out on you, but he walked away from two children he produced! That says a lot about character, I am sorry to say. I believe, that if I were in your shoes, I would do the following. I would call a lawyer and file for legal separate WITH child support spelled out...most areas require about 750.00 per month per child. I would NOT rely on his generosity when it comes to my kids..you owe them that. They are the true victims here, not you. You are an adult, can make whatever decision you deem is best for you...but you do not have that right when it comes to the kids. I personally, if I had nothing better to do, would leave the door open, cash the checks, and leave well enough alone until such time that I had a reason to move on. Keep in mind that every day you leave the door open, your heart takes a bruising and you reject other's offers of a good life. Your choice. I do wish you the very best of luck..you are in a very hard place right now, and time will give you the correct answer. BUT take care of those kids and make sure he pays his share of supporting them .... by legal means only! I also think that he will see just how strong you are once you go down this path. He may be playing you thinking you have no recourse...which you always do. NO ONE can be that sure of what is going on in the head of another. Take care

Answer 3

My husband left me also. He does still help out with our child so that is good, but at first I was a wreck, thought it was the end of the world. (He left me for another woman) Even though I felt this way, sometimes I would still have sex with him. Thought it meant something. But nothing changed. Men like to feel like they can have you any time they want you. I then after a looong time, left him alone, didn't want anything to do with him, wasn't even in love with him anymore and he had a new life, new girl, new house, baby on the way and he would still call me and come by telling me what we could have done to make it work. Telling me if I would show him some feelings he would leave her and come back to me. By then I did not want him anymore. I realize that all the pain and hurt he put me through was not worth risking again. If he left me once, he could do it again. If he was with another woman and came me me for sex (even though I was a wife), he was cheating on his girl. You dont need that negativity in your life. I think you should move on, talk with and socialize with new interesting people. You will get over it and probably find something much better.

Answer 4

tell him ur not ready to take shi*t from him right now and u want him out and divorce.
He left coz he though u could not fill all his needs and someone could do better...than his plan failed and he thinks he can take advantage of ur kindness.

Ask him Why he leave if u gonna come back?
he is really confused but u have to clear it for him...Show him the door he want through before.
He left u for two month and Remember how u felt...Hurt, betrayed.
so now let him go, this is not love u just care about him thats all.
He can visit to see the children and thats THAT!!
he said u don't need to have sex with him so why do it?, He did give u a choose..but u choose to let him come back in ur life.
U took it as if u were together but did he?
i don't think so, he took it as short pleasure.
Divorce him the more confuse he gets u How would ur children feel?...WORSE!!

Answer 5

I'm sorry to say that it sounds like he's trying to have the best of both worlds. He still has his own place but he can come and go to yours as he pleases and get sex.
As long as you're willing to work it out with him, he can find ways to manipulate you into getting into bed with him and then saying "oh oh I'm not ready yet, we're moving too fast"

But by then you've already given him his sexual gratification.

My advice is don't get your hopes up. If he's not willing to show you with actions that he's ready to get it together, put a stop to it before you get hurt even more than you already are.

I'm sure it's not easy on the kids for him to be teetering back and forth either.

Answer 6

Something is not rite here...he cant just walk out without u not knowing y..From what i read it seems as though u no longer has a husbnd...Maybe he just dont want to stay married to u either bcuzz he doesnt love u anymore or something.....Just sit n talk with him and hve him tell u evrythin.......whether he wants to stay married to u or something.....he cant just walk in and walk out. he has to remember also that kids r involved here.
Ask u for u both to seek counselling together.

I wish u all the best....Keep the faith up!

Answer 7

He is going to continue this pattern as long as you let him becasue he is a man. You are giving him sex without a commitment. I know you are married to him, but you guys weren't together. Quit putting out and make him make a descion about your realtionship.

Answer 8

Don't trust him! He is sleeping with you cuz he doesn't wanna look for any thing else what was the reason he left cuz if it didn't sound right or came outta the blue i don't think he's comein back hunny. Steel your heart now just in case.

Answer 9

A guy will have sex any time the poontang is laid out for him.
It means nothing.
Listen again!
'It means nothing to him!'
If he left you it is because he is not happy.
Sure he misses the kids...even misses you but he left you woman!
That means much more than the fact he will screw when available.

Answer 10

yikes, sounds like he's confused and torn. Probably is a decent guy that understands his responsibilities in his brain, but in his heart he doesn't love you anymore. Sorry. Move on and get a divorce