Stress, panic attacks and PTSD are ruining my marriage and I don't know what to do.?

Question

For half my life I have been deal with panic and anxiety and with meds (on and on) I was able to handle it. Four years ago I started to suffer from PTSD and at first I was able to deal with it. The last year though has been really hard and I now am pushing my husband away cause I am afraid of him. There is NO reason to be afraid but head won't listen. He gets upset cause he doesn't understand why I am so scared and there is no way for him to understand. I feel alone most times cause I can't really tell him how I am feeling, I don't want to hurt him. I have thought about divorce but that would be avoidance and I already avoid to many things. Advice is needed from someone that has been through the same or simirler thing. Thanks

I am on my meds and have tried different ones. I have seen 3 different doctors and have been in programs. I was blamed for everything as a child and finally ran away from home at 15 to be with someone who i thought cared. He beat me and raped me everyday for 2 1/2 years. That's where PTSD comes from. I don't know where to turn anymore cause I feel as if I have tried everything. Thanks again.

Answer 1

I've got friends that came back from Vietnam 30-40 years ago that still have flashbacks. No doubt the PTSD stuff seems ever present, but sometimes the best thing to do is focus on other things. Cognitive psychology focuses on the thoughts and feelings, where psychoanalysis attempts to explore the root causes. You KNOW the root cause. psychoanalysis will only force you yo relive the situation with each session.

Cognitive processes are a way to guide your thoughts and feelings about the events of those 2-1/2 years. Put yourself in the position of power over him in your thoughts. A good cognitive therapist would assist in this. You need to regain a sense of control.

You need to see your husband in a different light in this situation. He is not the enemy, in fact he could be someone that could be a benificial object in the trauma. If you see him as being stable and a decent man, see him as the object you should have ran too for protection.

Just a few thoughts from someone that knows PTSD some what.

Thoughts are just that, thoughts, they are passive and transient. recognize them as thoughts ONLY. the come in and out of our brain in the blink of the eyes. What happens in PTSD is people tend to spend time focusing a reliving. Focus on your current life instead.. Thing do get better.

Sometimes people spend too much time and money digging up the past when the best thing to do with the past is to shelve it. Eventually it's gets dusty and you learn to throw stuff out you no longer need for self preservation

Answer 2

I have PTSD and I'm a shrink. I meditate daily. 15-20 minutes really helps (I do Budddhist meditation). For years I found it helpful to have some Ativan with me, but I stopped because my body got so used to it that it didn't do any good, and I was pretty calm by then anyway. I take a small amount of Celexa (15mg) every day but I used to take a lot more medication. When I feel a panic attack coming on I breathe really slowly (count to five on the in-breath, hold for 2, count to five on the out-breath) because it slows the body and mind from the panic response. I focus on the feelings in my hands and feet because they're distant from my heart and gut, where most of the panic is taking place. AND, after all of that, I've slowly gotten more relaxed about things; I think it comes with age and with practice. I have survived a lot of panic in my life and I'm OK - even better! You will be too!!! :)

Answer 3

You don't say what caused the PTSD. What was tramatic? Or are you just using that label to make an excuse for your real problems. Do you realize that chemical imbalances in the brain can cause us to think all kinds of irrational things, be upset, panic attacks, etc? However, you mention no previous attempt to seek medical attention. Your question makes you seem intelligent, yet never seeing a doctor for this sounds really ignorant. Not everything we go through can be dealt with alone. Medical professionals exist for a reason, use them help you.

Answer 4

Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/yxS7o

Answer 5

Go see a psyciatrist dear, make sure you are on the RIGHT kind of med's and are diagonsed correctly. Take it from someone who has been there/done that.

Answer 6

Check out ( http://www.reducingstress.net )
It is a really good stress site.
There are lots of articles on all stress related topics.
I think you will find help for this situation there.

Answer 7

I would recommend that you find yourself a therapist that you connect with. Pray daily and listen to some soothing music with the lights dim and some candles lit to soften the mood. You need calming things around you. And pets are really great as well

Answer 8

I beleive in destiny but I still think you have to fight to save your marriage. Especially if you have children.
This ebook is a good resource to understand causes of your marital issues and to learn some important tips --> http://savemarriage.toptips.org

Answer 9

I have not been through what you are going through...but I can tell you that you need more help than you can find here...you need to see a Psychiatrist immediately and not for just one visit. Do NOT settle for a Psychologist...you need more help than that. Please do not wait any longer...you are going to push your husband so far away that he won't come back. Good luck to you, and I mean that.

Answer 10

Are you taking your meds like your supposed to??? If you are maybe you need different meds, talk to your doctor and go see a therapist for your marriage sake