every time my husband and i go to a club guys hit on me. my husband hates it. he didnt used to care but lately he makes a big deal out of it. weve been married 20 years so this is not new. i dont invite or encourage this it just happens. i have always declined these invitations. what am i supposed to do if a guy asks to buy me a drink or whatever? am i supposed to ignore him, get up and walk away, what? i cant control what other people say to me. even if all i say is "no thank you" my husband still gets mad at me. wtf?
2006-08-29 07:04:38 · 11 answers · asked by scooter trash 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe go to different places other than clubs. Your hubby is obviously threatened - has he had a reason to feel threatened or is he just overly jealous?
I agree you can't control what other guys are saying to you you can only control how you handle the situation and your husband. Guys need to feel that their "territory" is not being taken over by another alpha dog! Sorry for the example.
Find out why he is so upset - there may be more going on..... Good luck!
2006-08-29 07:12:17 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, its really cool that you and your husband are still going out to clubs and bars together after 20 years of marriage.
Second, your husband has some jealousy issues. Has anything ever happened to make him not trust you? Or does he THINK something happened? Or, is he cheating on you? Oddly enough, a fear that you will do to him what he did to you can make him act more jealous.
Or, has he maybe let himself go a bit, while you have not? A lack of self-esteem can result in this type of jealousy.
There's a lot of factors that could be making him act this way. But simply saying "no thank you" is just fine. A guy has offered you a drink, there's no reason to act as if he just groped you or anything. Tell you husband that he's going to have to cool it, and maybe go to counselling.
2006-08-29 07:12:45 · answer #2 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I don't understand is why your husband keeps on going out to clubs with you if he doesn't like what happens there. Can't you two find a new social outlet where people don't behave so rudely? Is your husband sitting right with you when other men make passes at you? If so, why doesn't he just tell them that he buys you all your drinks and everything else you need?
2006-08-29 07:11:51 · answer #3 · answered by JennyF 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you decline it may be an idea to point out that you are there with such a great husband(Make sure your husband hears it). Stroke his ego at the same time. It may help.
2006-08-29 07:09:50 · answer #4 · answered by Forever Hardcore 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you ask him to be more affectiate while going out so that guys will not approach you. If his arm is around you or a simply kiss every now and then; maybe that would help curb the come ons.
2006-09-02 05:07:17 · answer #5 · answered by Amy Renee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you saying that you and your husband are sitting at a bar minding your own business and a steady stream of men are coming up and hitting on you? If so, you should say nothing and he should say, "She's with me."
2006-08-29 07:11:25 · answer #6 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you say is that I'm with my husband, and point to him. Then walk over to your husband, or turn to him. Be sure to hug, kiss, grab his hand or something like that. Let him know it's all him at all times!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-29 07:13:52 · answer #7 · answered by passthevasia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best way to deal with this is to not go to clubs the club scene is usually for singles anyway.
2006-08-29 07:26:01 · answer #8 · answered by samwise25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
heres a thought, dont go to clubs, find a new way for you and your husband to have fun by yourselves
2006-08-29 07:09:10 · answer #9 · answered by domsmom701 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's insecure. He needs to encourage you to get your drinks for free, saves you both money.
2006-08-29 07:36:36 · answer #10 · answered by Sausage Fingers™ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋