My biological father was always given the chance to be a part of my life. He never took advantage of that chance when I was younger, he says because, we moved to Texas and he lives in Louisiana. We didn't move to Texas until I was eight and the paperwork was finalized when I was three or four in Louisiana. I recently, 4 or 5 years ago, started communicating with him by phone and email. Every time we try to get together he comes up with some excuse why he can't make it. He never answers the phone when I call, he never returns a message, and he never initiates communication. It is very emotionally draining always being rejected by your own father. Should I just forget it and quit trying.
2006-08-29 06:35:48 · 14 answers · asked by Danielle W 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Recently his mother died and he called me for the first time in two years to let me know. When I asked him if he minded if I come stay with him and go to the services with him he said no problem, then the next day when I Called him to let him know when I would be leaving, He said oh well we won't be here we are going to stay in Mississippi with my sister. Good thing I called him first to let him know when we would be leaving, instead of getting half way there and having to turn around. But it is like that every single time we try to get together.
2006-08-29 06:50:07 · update #1
Just quit trying, F++ him!, there is this much you can do and it sounds like you already did it, now it seems that you are getting hurt by his attitude and that's not good. Every time you try to reach him seems just like another way he can continue hurting you. Don't give him that satisfaction.
If he doesn't want to see you it should be pretty obvious for you why , you are better than him and you are better than this and you don't need him.
My opinion is get realistic about it and just let him go F++ himself someplace very far away from you. If he comes and tries to reach you then you can open your door for him if you wish to do it, if not don't.
Do not keep playing this game and don't be a drama queen, he doesn't want to see you? big deal, I am pretty sure you have plenty of people who love you.
2006-08-29 06:46:26 · answer #1 · answered by L M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no reason good enough as to why you can't see your child. There is nothing not hell or high water that will prevent you from seeing YOUR child. Sometimes adults do things because they are selfish. What he is doing has nothing to do with you, but everything to with his lack of maturity and responsiblity. I would first like to say that every child is put on this earth for a reason. You father may not validate that in actions you need. I know it hurts that he doesn't make more of an effort and comes up with excuses that simply are and never will be good enough. You know how I feel? It is his issue and his problem. Can you do something for me? Focus on the wonderful people who have made the effort to be a part of your life and have molded and nutured you into the person you are and will become. Learn from this awful experience and know exactly how you WILL never treat your own child.
You are only going to be able to do so much. At some point you have to give up and realize he isn't worth the effort.
2006-08-29 06:45:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget him. He's obviously found it very easy to forget you. It will be his loss in the end. He will probably need you one day. You're puting too much effort into it. Put your effort into you & the people around you who are there for you & care. Having no father, is better than having a bad one a bad one. As you have no doubt already found out by the way he makes you feel.
2006-08-29 06:53:49 · answer #3 · answered by harridan2006 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel bad. My father walked out of my life when I was about 2mths. It took the passing of his grandmother for him to even try to come in my life, and I was 18. I am now 22 and I feel that he missed out and that is something he is going to have to live with for the rest of his life. My thing is if he can make up excuses as to why he doesn't want to see you, he was never a man to begin with. Don't keep hurting yourself when he doesn't seem to care.
2006-08-29 06:43:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say, but you can't force anyone to do anything you don't want them to do. In your case, if your father wanted to be a part of your life he would have made an effort to see you. I think you should move on to avoid anymore emotinal set-backs. Forget about him, because there is no point.
2006-08-29 06:40:49 · answer #5 · answered by Isabella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It it's hurting you this much then I'd quit. What are you getting out of this "relationship" besides hurt emotions?
I am sorry to hear that this has happened to you, but always remember that the problem is not you, it truly is your father that has the problem.
2006-08-29 06:40:21 · answer #6 · answered by d h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really up to you. If you decide to keep in contact with him, you need to just know that you can't expect any more than what's he's shown - the excuses, him never calling you, etc. And remember, it's just the way he is. It has nothing to do with you.
2006-08-29 06:41:07 · answer #7 · answered by cldb730 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It took buckets of tears for me to realize mine loved his new kids with his new wife more. So much so that he would deny my existence so his children wouldn't feel insecure. I snapped out of it when I heard him yell at a friend who said I was better looking than his other children and that if he never saw my siblings and me was a small price to pay to keep his piece of heaven.
Consider him dead! Pour all your love to the people who stuck by you and deserve it. Those who put you down and don't care enough don't deserve your attention. You are doing your mother and siblings a disservice. When they see you pining and hurting for that worthless man, their hearts are breaking because they love you and it kills them to see you miserable.
2006-08-29 06:45:55 · answer #8 · answered by lipvixen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear you should not stop trying...i thing your father is some what very reserve person who don't wanna be open to it own child.what you need to do is rather then staying separately stay together & understand better each other closly.this will help your ather to gain trust & confidence in you& relation can be tured to wards positive.
2006-08-29 06:42:58 · answer #9 · answered by NIKE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up. Try and understand his reasons for behaving the way he does. But don't let all this endeavour effect you emotionally. All the best.
2006-08-29 06:39:48 · answer #10 · answered by zaki_ansari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋