What is the secret to having a happy, loving, successful marriage?

Question

I have been married about 2 years and we are only happy sometimes. Other times, I think my husband wish we had never gotten married. I want to have a happy, loving, successful marriage, but am unsure of what to do. We have no children yet, and we both work full time. We don't share the house hold responsibilities ( I clean 95% of the house, do all the cooking, and I am in school part time). He maintains the yard-3/4th acre- and changes the oil in the car. My husband is a bit controlling and insensitive. He says I am messy and emotional. What should I do?

Answer 1

There isn't exactly one secret that you can try and have everything come out the way you want it. Each relationship is different and has different needs. Just from listening to your description though, I can tell that the two of you need better communication skills. You also need to stand up for yourself and stop trying to be the "perfect wife". There is no such thing.

It sounds as though your husband is more traditional, and this usually takes a very compromising and understanding women to make it work. (My hubby is the same way, except after 17 yrs, he helps me out from time to time). Find his strengths, and point them out to him. Make him feel appreciated. Those type of men, need the pat on their back. If you make it known, he'll do the same. And talk to him, don't whine, but talk. Tell him what you like, what you envisioned and how you thought things would be, then work on getting it there.

Answer 2

To me, there is no secret to a happy, loving, and successful marriage. It's the ingredients to make that marriage work. And they are: (1). Good Communication. If a problem arise, don't belittle one another. Look beyond their faults. Talk it out, even if someone's feelings are hurt. And listen very carefully. Be slow about speaking but be swift about hearing. (2) Honesty. Make sure you tell each other the truth. The little "white-lies" can hurt your mate including the major lies. And (3) A Strong Belief in Prayer and the Bible. No matter the circumstance, pray to Jehovah God about it. Reading the Bible is the foundation of a long-lasting marriage. No one doesn't want a house that is laid down on just dirt cuz if it was to rain, the rain will get up under the bricks and your house will slide on its way. Reading, meditating, and applying what you have read in the Bible to your everyday lives is the foundation. Good Luck.

P.S. There is also living up to your vows. You vowed to love your mate no matter what. People don't understand that once you say, "I do." it's done. You have vowed. Good Luck!

Answer 3

COMMUNICATION is the key. You feel put upon because you work but also handle most of the household. Have you shared this with him? Perhaps you can equally divide all the household tasks. He can teach you to do the garden work and change the oil in the cars every 3 months and you can teach him how to do what is required in the house on a daily basis. If you can't communicate effectively, counseling is needed. If he won't go wth you, go alone.
Good luck!

Answer 4

I have been with hubby for 18 years since i was 16 years old..in the first years it was so hard and i wanted to strangle him everyday..i even left him a few times..But i always went back.i haven't left him in about 12 years. the older we got the easier it got to be with him..we have one child. Marriage is so hard its the hardest thing you will ever do.But its also the most rewarding thing. You will have to work at your marriage. Not to many men clean and cook that's normal and don't expect him to or you will fight over it all the time..In my house we have the law of picking up after your self or it ends up in the trash no matter what it is, and it works. He wont always be controlling and insensitive he will get tired of acting like that and give up on that..hubby did..now we do as we please and go as we please and just say be back later. and that works for us..most women are emotional,,i am..and i let him know when im being emotional and if he doesnt like it he can leave..A marriage is a 2 way streek it has to work on both sides or it wont work. Give it time your marriage is still new.dont give up fight for it. you married him for a reason.Talk to him about your doubts let him know how you feel and what you want out of your marriage..communication is first and for most in a marriage with out that you have nothing..

Answer 5

There is no secret to a happy marrage. Dont we all wish. You know when i first got with my husband it was so great we laughed and smiled and boy was he so romantic. He made me melt. But then one day everything started turning around and we started not trusting each other and fighting a lot more and and everything was on pins and needles for a long time. But you know i look back at that i realize that most of that was my fault but not completly becasue in a relationship its 50/50, but i chose to be untrust worthy and i chose to do everything my way and not include him and it almost cost my marrage with the one true man that i love. From that day on we started splitting everything,money time, chores, everything. And from that day on we have been the happiest couple around. It takes effort to have a healthy relationship but it takes a lot of work to have a happy one. Good Luck girl!!!

Answer 6

There is no big secret just trust communication and honoring the vows you took before GOD and really forsaking all others b/c some people are not happy unless they seperate you so let outside advice be gone love your life and the most important thing is be each others best friend when you have friendship before anything nothing can touch you!

Answer 7

I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 10 YEARS AND IT'S HARD AND YES MY HUSBAND IS CONTROLLING BUT NOT AS MUCH AS BEFORE AND SOMETIMES WERE HAPPY AND SOMETIMES NOT OR ONLY WHEN WE'RE HAVING SEX OR OUT SPENDING MONEY. BUT WHAT I FOUND OUT THAT WORKS FOR ME IS JUST KEEP HIM HAPPY AND WE'RE ALL HAPPY ,DON'T NAG HIM I KNOW IT'S HARD,BE AWARE OF YOUR HORMONAL DAYS TRY TO CONTROL YOURSELF, I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'S THE WOMEN'S FAULT BUT I HAVE 3 BOYS , AND GUYS ARE PRETTY SENSITIVE IF YOU LET THEM BE. SO MY POINT IS BE SWEET AND CONTROL YOURSELF.WE WOMEN CAN BE MEAN AT TIMES ,I'M NOT SAY ING YOU ARE, BUT THINK ABOUT IT ,THE SECRET OF ALL THIS IS JUST BE SWEET. AND YOU WILL SEE, LET HIM BE THE HERO, WHEN YOU NEED OR WANT SOMETHING JUST ASK HIM DON'T TELL HIM. I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKE WERE AT FAULT ,BUT JUST LET IT BE AND YOU WILL SEE A CHANGE I PROMISE

Answer 8

Have open communications with each other and great sex. Just because you are Christian does not mean missionary is all you can do. It is ok to be a little inventive in the bedroom.

But even that goes back to Communications. Be honest, open, and non-judgmental.

Answer 9

its based of 50/50 and telling no lies and having no secrets. a happy marriage is marrying ur best friend

Answer 10

trust,trust and more trust.
all these things must be first in your marriage or you can never be happy.it's not going to be easy but you need to learn to be happy on your own.
good luck