Yesterday my husband called all day begging me to stop our divorce .I got a call at 230 him telling me he loved and he wouldnt hurt me any more he put a hose to his muffler to the inside of his car and already been in side for a while when he called the carbon moxicide was makeing him slow to talk so I knew he wasnt playing I hung up and dailed 911 when they got their he was uncocises they coded him when they got him stable and got him to hospital his moxcide level was 17 the dr said if he had been in there 5 more min he would be dead.I fought formy marriage for 6 years I just cant take the cheating and abuse itsnot fair for him to try make me be withhim in fear he will commit sucide.......
2006-08-29 05:49:55 · 47 answers · asked by mgrinderslev1977 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hmmm... this is a tough one. You know if it has been you cheating and being abusive I might could understand your guilt although, it is him that is abusive. You can not hold yourself responsible for his actions and you can not put yourself in danger. Because he is your husband I think you should get him some professional help and see him through it. After you have supported him and he is back to good health he will understand your need to leave the relationship. Good professional help will also show him that he needs to first love himself again before he can love anyone else.
God Bless You Both.
2006-08-29 05:57:48 · answer #1 · answered by txgrlw/question 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow....I don't know what to say. I think that of hes going t those lengths to get you to stop the divorce, he's either:
a. really upset about what he put you through and is sorry.
b. he is willing to do anything to keep control of you.
c. he has some real issues.
I have been through some tough relationships and I have been divorced twice. Its not easy to stay with a problem that cannot be easily resolved, so I can't blame you for wanting out. Everyone has a breaking point in which they simply cannot continue with the way they are living life. I know this from experience and from experience I can tell you its better to get it over with.
However....
I had a friend commit suicide and it was a horrible thing to experience losing someone that you once loved. Even if it was bad for you....its really horrible to go through. So please take the suicide attempt seriously and get him some help. Good luck.
2006-08-29 06:08:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you and your life are not abnormal at all. I know a girl whose mother died of an anuerism and within a month her father drank himself to death. Bad things happen all the time. It is normal. The difference is that she was able to cope and you seem to be having much more trouble coping. Plus with your father commiting suicide - obviously that seems like a reasonable recourse to you. but it is not. I can't give any advice about how to cope with it. If you kill yourself then your life, your mothers life and your fathers life where all for nothing. The only thing you can really do is live the best life you can and give meaning to all this tragidy. I'm sorry to here about the losses you have suffered but I do not pity you. You are still here - you still have a life and you don't really have a choice than to make something of it. or you can keep trying to take your life and then you will turn it all into an even bigger tragidy
2016-03-27 00:12:23 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just make sure he's insured and you are still the beneficiary. I know it sounds cruel, but honey, you're already in the process of divorce. This man is not committing suicide because you are leaving, he's doing it because the decisions he's made in life have him feeling like he's worthless. You were probably the one good thing he had going for him.
You need to sit down and tell him that you deserve better out of life and all his cheating wasn't what you signed up for. Tell him that you can't trust him, do not love him and just feel sorry for him....then tell him, that's not a marriage. If he wants to do himself in, it's his choice and you aren't taking the blame for the outcome of his poor judgement. ALot of times, when one hears that the other isn't going to care or be destroyed like they would hope, they won't go through with it. Suicide is a selfish act honey, you shouldn't be surprised he's choosing to do this, especially after he's been so selfish the last six years. He's using it to draw you in. He knew you'd call 911, that's why he called you. If he just seriously wanted to end it, he would have just done it. This is just another attempt to tug at your heart strings.
2006-08-29 06:03:58 · answer #4 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, let me say that I truly feel for you. I don't know your husband. (only what you've said about him) But, he sounds like the most selfish human being on the planet. First of all, you've stayed with him and taken his crap for 6 years. And, now that you have found the courage and strength to get out, he attempts suicide. This is abuse, as well. Now he's trying to control you with feelings of guilt and/or sympathy. I don't know if you've tried marriage counseling or couples therapy, or IF you're even interested in taking that road. But if you feel that you've done all that you can and/or taken all that you can, and that this is the BEST decision that you can make for YOU (kids???), then by all means stick to your decision! Let him know that you aren't going to change your mind, just because he's tried to kill himself. He's obviously very depressed and needs serious therapy, medication, and VERY close monitoring. And, with this attempt at suicide, I'm sure that the hospital that he was taken to will make sure that he gets the in-patient help that he so desperately needs. I wish you continued strength and blessings.
2006-08-29 06:55:57 · answer #5 · answered by Chell B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating is one thing but suicide is another. This man has some major problems and this is not a healthy place for you to be. Even if he works out his problems I don`t think it`s a good idea for you to stay and I`ll tell you why.
I worked with this girl here in Florida and she was unhappy because her husband wanted her to do the swingers thing and she didn`t want too. She left him after 20 years of marriage and wasn`t going to look back. Well months went by and one day he came by her work and stole her car and told her if she wanted her car she had to come by the house and get it and talk to him.
Well she did and she had her neighbor watching from across the street. Well the girls she worked with called the neighbor and that took her away from the window. He saw this and kicked her over to the passenger side of the car and drove it around to the back of there house. He took her out and took her inside tied her to a chair and wound up stabbing her in the heart with a knife.
She ran outside still tied to the chair and died in the neighbors yard. He then cut both of his wrist and went into the garage and hung himself. He told the cops before he died that if he couldn`t have her nobody was going too.
So think about your situation and from what I see it`s alot like this girl I use to work with. Get out now and don`t look back!! There`s nothing left now but heart ache and if he`s suicidal then he won`t think twice about taking you with him or anybody else for that matter. Just be careful and go file a restraining order on him before it gets too late. Don`t be like the girl I work with and think things can be worked out in a nice way. He now is a danger to himself and others and most of all you!!! Good Luck!! This is a true story and this happen in LeighAcres Florida in Aug of 1999. You can look this up in the FT. Myers News Press!!! Aug 12 or 13th 1999
2006-08-29 06:11:35 · answer #6 · answered by bren_jim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, the abuse continues in this carefully planned suicide attempt. Your husband needs psychological help. Hopefully the hospital is making the appropriate referrals. In the meantime, proceed with the divorce. This is all the more reason to free yourself from a manipulative person who would try to make you feel guilty for his misdeeds and his selfish motives. He needs help and some counseling wouldn't hurt you either.
Good luck.
2006-08-29 06:05:45 · answer #7 · answered by Chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right, it's not fair. I'm sorry to say, but the attempted suicide is just another form of abuse and control. How ever horrible the circumstances of his recent attempt, you are letting him run your emotions.
The question is, do you care? Not the care you have for all living creatures. It could be expected that you would want out of the situation enough that you become your first priority.
2006-08-29 05:58:20 · answer #8 · answered by Hacksaw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, Stay strong.
He is being selfish & trying to do whatever he can to keep you. 6 years is Definetly long enough to try to save a marriage. You did what you could, now its time for you to move on & be happy!
As for the suicide thing, maybe you should ask police or the hospital staff with advice. They probably see a lot of it.
Good LUCK
2006-08-29 05:53:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some men are selfish bastard wanting their cake and eating it too!! Don't go back with him, he will never change and your heart been hurt enough!! It is not your responsible for what he does!! He should of treat you right instead of cheating all the time. You could never ever Trust him again!! You deserve someone who going to treat you like you should be treat!!! Don't give in to his suicide he brought this on his self you owe him nothing!!!Good luck,
2006-08-29 06:04:50 · answer #10 · answered by SUN FLOWER 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋