I am a 21 yr old married female, and I came out to my husband a lil while ago about my bisexuality. I have never, nor will never cheat on him, but I felt he should know. I apologized for not telling him that before I married him. But, he just says that it's a temptation I'm going thru, and that we'll pray about it. Etc, but I don't feel that it's a bad thing. Even my husband says he knows that I would never cheat on him, but he believes that what I'm feeling. Or what I know to be true is just a temptation. How do I get him to understand that I am what I am?
2006-08-29 05:22:07 · 26 answers · asked by Zevida Riley 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Therapy?
2006-08-29 05:26:11 · answer #1 · answered by M 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
hmmm well not telling him in the first place since u knew b4 the wedding is a major LIE dont u think. What happened to honesty, does it exist any where in the world anymore?????
Tell him u r bi doesnt make it easier for either of you and now u r going to be trapped by this that u have told him at the wrong time. Look if u r honestly bi and want that lifestyle then while the marriage is still young and hopefully u have NO children, get out of it...tell him u love him if u do, but that if u really love him and u know that this is not really u being honestly who u r then u need to WALK AWAY and find yourself. Maybe being apart u will realize that u r not bi and u love him or that u r and u need to find someone who can and wants to support that lifestyle. BE FAIR TO BOTH OF U STOP THE LYING!
2006-09-02 03:26:59 · answer #2 · answered by Eastcoast beachgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Zevida, there is no way that you could possible know that you are bisexual unless you have tried it on for size. You are living in a fantasy girlfriend. Maybe you are having some bisexual feelings but if you have not investigated it then that is all they are...feelings!
News flash! Your husband is in no way obligated to "understand". You married him. Now you are saying that there has been a change in your life that will probably impact him and your marriage. No fair! I would bet that there is someone out there who is helping you to come to this conclusion. Maybe one of your friends is attractive or tempting and you are filled with desire...but this too shall pass!
Do not destroy your marriage! Focus on what you have with him and make it work. If you don't think that you can handle that then leave him before you go out and "play". Don't cheat on him.
2006-08-29 06:23:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
QUICKLY learn that it is not necessary to get someone else to understand. Drop your point. When it comes to sexual orientation often times we are with out match and seldom complete. If you are religeous than stop toturing yourself by trying to explain yourself to your husband. You need to keep this at the chest or near to heart. These things at this stage in your life are best counseled with another woman. So many people have so many different desires. Don't be down ever about it. Be glad you have feeling and emotion and temptation. It is all GOOD. Though it may be miserable to have your husband explain his position on the matter if you keep going at it with him. Bring this out at the sever year itch. You know slip it to him sly. You and your fresh new woman lover acting as friends. You seduce your husband and you friend discovers you and him together. She finds his eye and waits for him to instuct her. Then you both help him lead the two of you into a sweet affair of the body and heart. Now you can't get jealous.....
2006-09-02 04:09:07 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Jessie James 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop beating yourself up over it. You told him, he didn't leave you he is understanding in his way.
You are fortunate, many husbands would have jumped at that as an excuse to play around, whatever. Sounds to me you have a strong relationship, and if you keep the doors of communication open chances are your relationship can only grow.
You stated you would never cheat on him so the matter should be moot. OK? Enjoy each other, this is why you married him right? You love him, this is what is more important to him.
2006-08-29 06:09:33 · answer #5 · answered by Neptune2bsure 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the following is a theory: enable him come domicile to a messy domicile. No dinner or something you ought to do after 4:30. See what he says. If he says not something, casually aspect out: i am going to initiate cleansing, feeding the toddler, cooking and so on.. and also you time me to make certain how lengthy it takes. I used to make funds operating from domicile (minus the toddlers) and that i nonetheless look on the clock and recognize that's already 9 and pretty a lot waiting for a bath and mattress. i'm unable to imagine having a ten month old extra to the mixture. in case you freshen up each and each of the mess and be "ideal" he has no theory what you actual go by. certain, you ought to hover over a computing device 8 hrs an afternoon, notwithstanding it remains paintings and also you carry a house added earnings. attempt this tactic and tell me what occurs.
2016-11-23 12:57:50 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I agree that you definitely should have let him in on your feelings before you got married! But now, I assume he is a Christian of some sort since you mentioned praying, so I will try to answer from that perspective.
I am a Christian myself, and I consider homosexuality to be a sin. You may not want to hear this or believe it, but everyone is tempted by different things in their lives. For some its money, for others its power, and some people are tempted to be with partners of their own sex. In my opinion, you are being tempted. It may be something you have to work with your whole life, and it may be something that you will be completely repulsed by a year from now. These days homosexuality is played-up as a fun, experimental, natural way to be, when in reality it is the most unnatural way of life imaginable. Just because you have the right to do something, or the ability, or simply feel the need to, doesn't mean it's right, and it doesn't mean that you SHOULD do it. If I were you, I would acknowledge the temptations you're facing, and take your husband up on his offer to pray about it. After all, most husbands wouldn't be so understanding and willing to work it out, so you might want to work on the problem before you let the popular "it's just who I am" take over your life.
You may not agree with me, which is fine, I'm just offering my opinion. Hope it helped.
2006-08-29 05:33:24 · answer #7 · answered by sillyoleme 1 · 1⤊ 3⤋
It's not just him. Bisexuality is really misunderstood. Most people (both gay and straight) think that bisexuality is just when a person can't make up their mind or is transitioning into being gay. He just will just simply not understand, especially if he's religious. It's the same if you keep telling him that you're purple, he'll think it's just a phase that you think you're purple and he'll refuse to see your true colors. I suggest just leave this issue be until HE brings it up again. If it doesn't bother him enough to be trouble, he'll just drop it.
2006-08-29 05:57:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't understand, hence the religious rationalization and stuff. Just give him time. Praying isn't going to help you but if he doesn't lighten up it can damage your relationship. Maybe you should point that out to him, if he isnt accepting of who you are and the fact that you are faithful to him that HE, not you, has doomed the relationship to a messy end.
2006-08-29 05:50:56 · answer #9 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not bi-sexual, It is just an idea that Satan has imposed on people. God did not create you that way, He does not want that, and He wishes you would refrain from evil lusts of the flesh. If you believe that it is only a temptation, sooner or later you will fall. The devil does not sleep he is like a roaring lion seeking who to devour! The devil came to steal to destroy and kill. Jesus came to give life, and give it more abundantly. Choose life, that you may live. God bless you!
2006-08-29 05:35:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
First, it certainly is not a bad thing. I am a good looking bi male so if you need to chat, hit me up. Second, being bi or gay isn't something you try to rid by praying. Why? Because it is not bad, or evil. If there is a God, a supreme being, he hasn't done anything about our wars, disease, famine, murder, etc. Does your husband really thing God will chime in on you being bi?
And last, you can't make him understand except for you to do what you did by coming out to him. Now, he has to try his best to accept it.
2006-08-29 05:28:37 · answer #11 · answered by JJohn 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋