I have been married for 14 years (not happily) Recently I have reconnected with an old friend from high school (male) Nothing happened during high school. Yet I find myself anticipating his emails. I love the attention he gives me. Is this cheating?
2006-08-29 05:10:40 · 45 answers · asked by sugar girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no i wouldn't call it cheating, but i don't think it's fair to your husband that you're keeping this other guy a secret either. of course you like the attention he gives you, especially if your marrige sux. but.......you have to decide if you want your husband or your freedom....can't have both
2006-08-29 05:15:23 · answer #1 · answered by raylie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What people don't understand is that cheating on your mate is more than having sexual intercourse. It's the time that you spend with the other person that could have; should have been spent with your mate. It's the conversations, and the intimate thoughts.
If you are anticipating his emails on more than a platonic level you are cheating on your husband, your marriage and ultimately your future happiness. If you are not happy with your marriage talk to your husband; decide between the two of you if you want the marriage to work, if so seek marriage counseling.
2006-08-29 05:25:00 · answer #2 · answered by Natural_Woman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is called an emotional affair. There is no contact physically but mentally you are thinking of this man. You are probably fantasizing about this man. I had a friend who recently found her lost love from high school. It was 36 years that she had not seen him. She was excited at first he was bringing back old memories that they shared together. They talked on the phone for 2 months before they actually seen each other. Everytime she talked to him her eyes lit up and she had a big smile on her face. She went to go see him, she came back and her eyes no longer lit up and her smile was gone. She was disappointed because he had changed so much not just physically but mentally as well. We always like to think the grass is greener on the other side and usually it turns out it really isn't.
2006-08-29 05:18:17 · answer #3 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what's wrong? Staying in an unhappy marriage. While u are in it, happy or not, u have to respect it. Anything that u wont do in front of him or will offend him is considered cheating. If u will let him read ur old classmate's emails then its fine. Attention? yes everybody needs it but it has to come from the right person. Don't use unhappy marriage as an excuse.
2006-08-29 05:21:12 · answer #4 · answered by ♦cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No---as long as you don't get emotionally involved with him. This is what we call getting some on the side. (ATTENTION). After being in a relationship so long it's possible that your husband just forgets how much the little things matter...the phone calls...I love you emails..etc. Talk to him and let him know. He must know that way if in turn you do end up leaving your husband for this other man you won't feel guilty because you tried to make it work and you let him know your feelings towards the matter.
2006-08-29 05:26:59 · answer #5 · answered by Honey Dip 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it isn't cheating, but it is the gateway to it, If you are having problems in your marriage, you should figure out if you love your husband and still want to be married. If you do, you need to talk to your husband and try counseling.
If all else fails, be real and get a divorce. Don't cheat. It's not right and there's no good reason to. Think about how you'd feel if you were in your husband's shoes.
Good luck.
2006-08-29 05:26:36 · answer #6 · answered by Hpnotiq 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just left this same type of question however on the flip side of it.... Yes, it is cheating. Emotional cheating. Not good cuz it will develop into something more.
I would suggest if you want to stay married , drop your H.S. friend and reconnect with your husband.
2006-08-29 05:14:51 · answer #7 · answered by wowcanusayit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Flip it around. If your husband was receiving e-mails from an old friend and he eagerly anticipated each one, would you be mad at him? Would you be jealous if he was doing exactly what you are doing? Instead of feeling distant from him, why don't you talk to him about it before it is too late. At one point in time you had feelings that told you marrying him was the right thing to do. Just talk to him.
2006-08-29 05:17:42 · answer #8 · answered by PDK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is cheating. Now if you start to see him phyiscally then you are looking for trouble. I am in a similar situation and let me tell you, the anticipation of just wanting to be with the next person is amazing.
Good Luck cause I know I need it.
2006-08-29 05:16:16 · answer #9 · answered by Lady Dee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not cheating- yet. Sounds to me like you want something different than what you've had for the past 14 years. Just don't be shady and leave your husband in the dark if things start to get more serious.
2006-08-29 05:13:43 · answer #10 · answered by KC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been married for 14 years, they weren't all bad. Your not cheating yet, but is it really worth 14 years of work and love for a fling?
2006-08-29 05:14:00 · answer #11 · answered by Becky 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋