I've been in this relationship for 7 yrs, we have a 5 yr old daughter . My boyfriend is a vey good father, he's always there for his child, he helps with the housework but we don't get along anymore. I don't know when it happened but I'm not in love with him anymore. He puts down almost all of my opinions even about the simpliest thing and all our discussions have to be loud arguments laced with expletives (our nieghbours always knows our problems). I'm from a quiet family so I'm not used to this, he says w'll get married as soon as he buys a house but my family says if I'm good enough to ''shack up" with I'm good enough to marry now.He's over jealous and he searches by cell phetc,when i'm not there.
My ex, of10 yrs has just called me (we haven't seen or spoken to each other in 2 yrs) to say after other relationships he now knows he's in love with me. I've nvr cheated but I stl luv my ex. I wouldn't go straight into this relationship but should i stay for my daughter's sake? HELP!
2006-08-29 04:31:30 · 9 answers · asked by ayanagin 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think you know exactly what you should do. You have given all the reasons why you should not be in a relationship with this person. He's not trusting of you, he's verbally abusive and above all you said you're not in love with him, but someone else.
Besides never stay in a relationship for your child or children it can do more harm than good especially if the envirnoment is like you explained. You want your little girl to grow up strong and rounded with self confidence.
2006-08-29 04:49:39 · answer #1 · answered by solgiver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to how you might feel frustrated,but i don't relate to you and your ex.You stated you have been with your childs father 7 years now,but it has been 2 years that you have talked to your ex.If you are committed to someone,even if you don't see eye to eye,you don't go on the prowl talking to ex's or even new ones,you leave first.It is just a respect thing,and i am sure you would want the same respect from your mate as well.However,i do believe that children should not be used as a pawn to hold any relationship together,it comes back on them and they are the victims that suffer from the actions of the adults.I don't know what happened between you and your ex,but if it took him this long to finally come to the realization that he is now in love with you,i'm sorry i would have to question his motive,and i do not in any way mean to offend you or anyone with my opinion's,it's just the facts of life,i have seen way to much in my time to know that feelings is not a switch,turn on one day,turn off another day.It sounds as though you were doing find until you somehow got in touch with your ex.Yes the choice is totally yours,but you need to way out the pro's and the con's along with searching your heart,when you was with your ex,you apparently didn't have your little girl at the time and you probably remember the good times you both had when you were together,but somewhere it became bad enough for you both to walk away from one another for so many years now and this time,you do have your daughter and she needs to come first of all,before either one of these men.I am glad to hear that her father is good to her.Your child needs stabilty at all times,so what is best for her and you both at the same time?I truly wish you all the luck in the world,follow your heart,it will guide you!Good Luck!
2006-08-29 12:03:19 · answer #2 · answered by twjp1962 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Staying in a realtionship for your daughters sake is not the answer. You are doing more damage by doing so. Stop and think, is it healthy for yur daughter to be in an environment where you both are constantly arguing? You need to be strong and just end it. Whether you start a new relationship with the other guy or not, you need to separate before you guys have a bitter fall out. You need to have a healthy relationship with him for the sake of your child, but you also need to find what else is out there so you can be happy as well.
2006-08-29 11:53:55 · answer #3 · answered by Ro Ro 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont marry someone even if he is your daughter's father if u dont love him...i got married to my husband becoz my father said so since thats our tradition ur parents decide and u marry and not out of love now i can do nothing i dont love my husband but just live with a man whom i ve nothing in common with....so please dont get married to someone without loving him that will not only ruin ur life but even ur child's wonderful future..bcoz she will have problem when u guys fight....please dont spoil ur life esp if u guys fight a lot then that is not going to stop..and if the guy is suspicious then thats not going to go away easily so dont jump into quick sand knowing it very well in advance...i know u r going thru a tough time but if u dont make the right and good choice now your are absolutely going to sink and no one but u r to be blamed for it..and about ur ex...please he is ur ex bcoz of a reason else he wud still have been ur bf so think twice about that too....u have a child so ur decision not only is going to affect u for the good or bad but also an innocent child..hope u will not rush into anything take time and think twice taking any decision coz life offers time more than anything else....
2006-08-29 13:43:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
give your relationship lil bit more time. try to work out something new like go for holidays etc try memorising the old days which were full of love. it will be just a stupidity to leave your daughter for any ex. try to make this relation better again. make compromises that might help. if he doesnt get agree to get married then leave him.....then probably he is just playing with ypu and your daughter'life.
2006-08-29 11:51:39 · answer #5 · answered by dsjfehiw 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never stay for you chids sake becasue if it is bad then what will she think!! He can still be in her life if you two are not together!! You have to listen to your heart and if your not in love and not happy then do not put yourself in it because then your child might think that it is ok to fight and yell and you do not want that!! So talk to each other and if nothing changes then leave!!
2006-08-29 11:38:08 · answer #6 · answered by onesexyg18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do what is best for you if you are no longer in love with this person you should probably leave-talk to him first, tell him it's not working out anymore and tell him you plan to leave(don't mention the other guy) make arangements for visitations your daughter.
2006-08-29 11:39:04 · answer #7 · answered by gabby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEVER STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE OF A CHILD. THAT IS THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO
2006-08-29 11:45:43 · answer #8 · answered by FRECKLES 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No don't stay. Go for your ex.
2006-08-29 12:11:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋