GUYS....a serious question. Would you rather have a really good looking woman with a bad personality? or...?

Question

an attractive...or semi-attractive woman with a great personality? Thats the question i have for all of you guys out there in webland. Reason im asking this? I married a woman who is stunning. I mean...drop dead gorgous. On our first date i thought that an angel from heaven had fallen in my lap and the first night we made love i felt as if i was on top of the world. We got married, have three kids and...well....she is a royal pain in the ***. Has to have things her way 24/7, has no room in her life for anyones **** and yet expects everyone to bow before her perfection. Is a super control freak and has the kind of personality most would find at the very least...abrasive.

And i think back on all of the woman ive dated who were just a bit less attractive then her phsyicaly, who faded into oblivion, who had great personalities...and i wonder if making a descision on looks alone has served me well at all.

Your thoughts guys?

ok....and im sure i will piss a whole bunch of people off with this statement, but i have to say this. PLEASE stop saying that i need to pray to god, ask jesus for salvation or that i need to read a book to solve my problems. That may work for you, but it has absolutely NO basis in reality. Praying for my married life to get better....will do none of the things i need it to. Reading scripture will only give me a better understanding of married life....BACK THEN. No help there. And yes....i did get a glimps of the woman she is now when i first met her, but only 10%. Now that im getting 99.9% i realize that i am not the kind of man she needs, and the big deal is that i DONT want my kids growing up thinking that this is love. That this is what a relationship should be based on.

Answer 1

You have discovered one of the essential truths. No amount of T&A can overcome a bitchy personality. I try to tell my sons this all the time when they talk about how "hot" some girl is.

You are going to spend far more time talking, negotiating, and just living with your wife than you are in the sack with her. So, smart, funny, kind, caring women make better wives. For that matter, they make better lovers regardless of how they look.

Answer 2

Your question... and the answer is irrelevant to your circumstances right now. You've chosen to marry this woman... for better or for worse. You made a covenant vow to God regarding your spouse.

When you were dating this woman did you see any of the traits she's exhibiting right now? If you didn't... why not? Did you date long enough? If you didn't then you are in this situation because (no offense intended) you lack patience and common sense. Did you choose to ignore some of the warning signs about her just because of her beauty?

You apparently decided that eye candy and a nasty self centered behavior was attractive and what you needed/wanted in a future wife and to also be the mother of your children. The statements you've made about your wife only show "YOU" were not a very wise person when you made such a serious life decision. Or it shows that you were a very shallow, and easily fooled by what you see on the outside of a person. If you're none of those things... then you had to have seen the behavior she now exhibits so freely, but maybe when you were dating you thought it was cute and exciting and that you could handle her/it. And now that..... marriage, three children and reality has set in. The only thing left for you to do is to lament and ask the kind of question you posed on this site..... WOW!

Seek counseling NOW..together or alone. Most people don't participate in pre-marital counseling (as they should do) for a few months prior to walking down the isle, but it's a VERY crucial step to making a decision that will affect you, your future children and your personal life forever.

Also, (and more importantly) try doing some major praying to God. Read the book Power of praying Husband.. by Tim LaHaye, this will be a tremendous help to you.

Work it out!

Answer 3

All I can say is I know where you are coming from. My wife and I were high school sweethearts, got married at 19. Waited to have kids at 24. Between 19 - 24 we started growing apart( growing up actually). Developed scares during those years. Thought by having kids it would makes us closer. Now we have two wonderful kids and all get along for the most part, but fell out of love long ago. Our living situation is only as friends. I feel depressed a lot of the time and snap at the wife/kids when their is no need. Stress out mainly, so I am leaving hopefully within a month or two. My wife and I have talked and hope to do this in a mature manner before it gets ugly. I strongly suggest the same for you. I just hope my kids understand in time this was for the best.
Stay strong for yours! Good Luck!

Answer 4

I am not a guy but that just shows anyone that looks only go so far. I have met good looking guys and then they open their mouth and man you can find every flaw. I have met average men who opened their mouth and became even more attractive. A relationship should not be based on a persons looks. I mean you do need to be attracted to the person but you should get to know the person before you jump into marriage. The qualities that a person has to offer are mostly on the inside.

Answer 5

Dude I feel for you. We can't keep falling for the "Angel trick". But to answer your question, there is not way I would get along with a woman who has a very dry or no sense of humor. I am silly as hell at times and would need another sense of humor to compliment this. I would drive woman up the wall that had no personality. So yes, sometimes you must sacrifice some out beauty to obtain a greater one inside!

Answer 6

Man, I sympathize with you. I was in exactly the same boat, thought I was alone...Added on top of all of it, my wife was super hard to please or impress. I got tired of the one way street and began to back off a bit. Immediately she began an affair, and now I'm happily rid of that kind of woman. I'm very happy now with an attractive woman with a personality that both compliments me and is a pleasure to share my life with. There is a song from the 60's that goes "If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife..." Good luck to you...

Answer 7

I would say that personality is very important, but it's important for her to be attractive to you. I know that I would not waste even 1 night with the type of woman you describe your wife to be. I don't care how hot she is, but if she's a btch, she can go screw herself.
I think you've got it better than some though. At least you have a beautiful wife, but I would think that the ones in the worst situation are the guys with ugly AND b1tchy, controling wives (and thank God I'm NOT in that group).

Answer 8

I married an attractive woman who is now a pain in the a$$. Give me the somewhat attractive , great personality combo please!

Having said all this, I know some hot ladies who have great personalities.

Answer 9

she must be able to hold a semi intelligent conversation have a clue Ugly and smart wins over Pretty and stupid every time with me. But she can't be a cow size though.
The beautiful women WHO are full of themselves can go find a guy that's the same way.no use for them except a 1 night stand
cuz that's how long I could put up with them. Lucky for me I found a beautiful smart woman to marry :) you guys lost out hehe

Answer 10

Im not a guy, but its an intersting question. Sounds like you put the pretty gal so high on the pedestool, she wanted to stay there. Tough lesson to learn. Guess its better for us non-models..lol. Learn from your mistakes, and best of luck!