My husband hates the town we live in but i love it and want to stay how do we work through this difference?

Question

He wants to move 3 states over but i cant imagine my life anywhere but here

Answer 1

As we all well know, the woman
is the boss and the head of the
household, so why are you worrying?

The old silent treatment, or withholding
what he likes best, or just general dirty
looks and a flippant attitude.

Also, you could always work through
the children, and the relatives, so that
they could add to his misery when he
begins to speak of moving away.

Don't worry, it is always about what
the woman wants. You will have your
own way, and what he wants, desires,
or what would make him content or
happy will be put aside and eventually
forgotten.

Men are such good sports, aren't they?
Except the ones who get fed up and leave.
But relax, most just go through life putting
up with anything we hand out - for the
sake of peace, and die in their sleep...

I had to get old to admit all that, but
women do control men, and that is how.

I just hate to see it done so much and
for men not to be able to have a life.
It is like they are just absorbed into
the material of the throne of the
female, and they will DO it and
they will LIKE it!! (or else!)
so sad. Sorry, fellas.

Answer 2

I'm currently going through the same situation. My husband and I both my generous income's and I would love nothing more than to stay home with the baby but it would be too much of a financial loss to stop working however all the childcare we have been seeing is extremely costly. My current commute is about 2 hours into the city so Im probably going to try to find a job closer to home and we are trying to find any friends or relatives that are retired and want to make some extra money. We figure we trust this person and we can pay them half of what we would pay a service. The idea is still up in the air but if you can afford it, stay home. I wish I could give up my income but bills are too high and even with a large income it wouldnt suffice. Good luck with your decision. I hope this answer helped.

Answer 3

A lot of people are just like you...afraid of change. Changing is always good. You can not only meet new people, you'll have a change of scenery. I love traveling to different places. I'm not sure where I'd like to end up residing for the rest of my life. I don't see me staying in any one spot forever.
Honestly, I think you should take your hubby's advice. You have an opportunity to start a brand new life. Once settled in, you'll love it! At least take his wishes into consideration. Go check out some areas and houses in some different spots so it'd be something you can both agree on.
Give it a chance. You only live once...do you want to say you've lived in the same place for your entire life, or do you want to say you had the balls to get out there and try/see new things. Life is full of surprises, you never know, you might find that you're actually happier where you didn't feel so comfortable to begin with.

Answer 4

Marriage is one of compromise. There are a lot of issues here that need addressing such as; does he have a job there? do you own your house you're in now? Do you have kids in school? Change can be good sometimes, who knows you might even like the new town better. I stayed in the same area for most of my life and then moved all the way across the US and started anew, best thing I ever did!!

Answer 5

Mine is the same way. I guess it doesn't help that we trade the blizzards I hate, for the hurricanes and evacuations he hates. :/

In one case, I'm lucky - my husband is more of an indoor gamer type, and most of his hobbies he does inside anyway, without much outside interraction. I think because I do these kinds of things with him, and we occasionally go fishing and other hobbies he DOES like, he seems to at least tolerate the situation.

Perhaps you can figure out some of the things he thinks he liked about the other town, and try to "bring" them here. Did he like the nightlife? Are there places you can go in your own locality? Did he have buddies and friends? Can he make new ones? Did he like fishing or camping, and can you make trips to do so, or do it locally?

Find out what he feels is missing, and try and work on it together. Or you could move somewhere else entirely, where neither of you feel the other has the advantage, but can both live with. Like half way between both places. You have to try and openly communicate to find out who is the stronger of the two, who could better make the sacrifice, how you can make that easier on the one who makes that sacrifice, and what will work better for the both of you... and you may have to be prepared that after sticking it out for a period of time, you may decide it is just better in the end to try it his way after all.

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Nancy K, I find your answer incredibly harsh, while sometimes it may be true that too many women get their way at the cost of their husband's choice. But how do you know SHE doesn't have an excellent reason to be where she is and may not have divulged every detail? She could be caring for an aged parent, the economic situation may be better, she may have family whereas he has no ties to his, or like me, she may have serious health problems that worsen in the other climate or area.

It's true that the decision should be made based on the most happiness and health for the COUPLE, but his demands do not sound any less demanding and selfish than hers, without more details. Saying that she should just GIVE IN to his demands is no better than saying that she should expect HIM to give in to her demands. The argument works both ways, and it doesn't sound like the word "compromise" was mentioned.

Answer 6

Your life should be with your husband and his with you. Why does moving scare you. There are new people and maybe better friends in another state.

When you get married you chose to be with each other. It is not I want to live here or there.

If it means better job and a happier marriage I would start packing and stop trying to figure out why not.

Answer 7

Why do you love the town, and why does he hate it? Does he want to live in a bigger town, a city, what would be the differences? If you have no family where you live (parents, brothers, sisters) then there must be something you like in your town.

Answer 8

Marriage is about give and take.You can not always do what you feel you would have wanted to do.You must discuss and reach a compromise.If you find that your husband is mad about moving,accept the move. Next time he will remember that you gave in so that he also gives in when there is another issue.

Answer 9

Try to observe your town keeping yourself out of your mind and then also see the things around with your hubby's eyes (hope u know him correctly) and then point out the good , better and best in them furtherly express them in such a way that your hubby can easily understand and agree with them. In this way you will do what you want with its best possible condition and there will be no lie under the carpet....best of luck.
Also hope that its more beneficial to live there than leave.

Answer 10

communication is best it depends on how stubborn u both r. Yea I know we r all stubborn when we really want something. Write a list of the good and bad thing on staying or moving 2 where he want. See which list has the best good qualities u both like. Then talk about it