My husband and I were not having good sex for a long time. I was the one not very interested. Recently it has gotten to be great and we are much more open abt our likes and dislikes in sex. I have come to find out that he watches porn and masturbates to thought of doing random woman. Should that upset me because i think it does. Is it my fault that i deprived him for all this time? He says now that he is getting it so there is no need to do those things anymore. Do u think that is true?
2006-08-29 02:45:52 · 23 answers · asked by missy2 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
fantasy is one thing, but doing things in a relationship that u know upsets your partner is another.
i personally think porn is disguisting. sex is private & intimate & should be shared with your husband. now i know many people will disagree with this, but when someone is going behind your back to watch porn & masturbating, that is seeking sex outside of your relationship. he may not be having sex with someone else physically, but he is mentally & by doing it without your knowledge is in a sense cheating.
for people who watch porn together, that's fine, but if there is a partner who doesn't like it, it shouldn't go on, same with any part of a relationship. if a person is an alcoholic & drinks all the time, should the spouse just look the other way because thats what the other wants to do? no.
relationships are 2 people working together to make things work so if you don't like it, he shouldn't be doing it.
2006-08-29 02:58:11 · answer #1 · answered by gemfaith79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-07-19 15:18:34 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Should you be upset? I can't answer that, because you feel what you feel.
He is being honest with you, so give him some bonus points. Most men are very visual, and need something to fantasize about when they masturbate. And most men also masturbate. Random women on a page, or on a screen, will not hurt your marriage. He may even pick up a trick or two. Don't worry about depriving him previously. No couple is in synch all the time. Be happy he kept his extra-curricular activities at home and with himself.
Just keep talking with him like you have, and things can only get better.
2006-08-29 02:52:05 · answer #3 · answered by Karen? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think its great when you two are able to speak about these things and I don't see a problem in there, though I get that it could be an upsetting thing for you.
In my opinion sex and satisfaction belong to a healthy life and there is always the possibility that the interests are different in different moments of life (e.g. when one wants more and the other less or different ways of making love etc...)
Besides it is one way for him to deal with his needs without putting pressure on you and without all the frustration around it...
At the end it is all a question of interpretation.
You can interpret it as something he is doing because you are insufficient/ inadequate (English is not my mother tongue - I hope I chose the right word here) or you can see it as a possibility to discover something about your sex life that you have not seen before and be curious about it.
The less you make it a problem, the less it will be one.
2006-08-29 02:57:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mostly likely he has been doing that for a long time. However, not to degrade your situation but what man doesn't think of doing other women. I believe they're just thoughts. The problem becomes when actually decides to live out those fantasies.
You should talk to him and find out why does he feel the need to watch porn and think of other women.
2006-08-29 02:51:12 · answer #5 · answered by wowcanusayit 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is a hard one to answer. Like you said , you were not giving him anything . And you r a women , so you no that men need to get off at least once a day...hehehe. But if he is saying he doesn't need the porn anymore then you should believe him.Look at the bright side. At least he was useing the porn rather then cheating on you.
2006-08-29 02:54:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This question gets asked a lot here. Basically all guys watch porn - look at nudie pics - whatever. If they say they don't they are lying. If they really don't then I would be worried. I would say that excessive porn watching may be a problem but if not then you really can't stop fantasies - and they are only fantasies. better than him in chat rooms or something else weird. porn is harmless.
2006-08-29 02:51:54 · answer #7 · answered by Fenris 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why do women have such a hard time with men and porn? Especially those that don't want to have sex with their hubbies?
I have a feeling he learned some stuff watching the porn and it allows him to fantasize while having sex with you, be thankful he is still with you and not moving on to actually having sex with random women...sheesh
2006-08-29 02:52:11 · answer #8 · answered by tvman30044 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Lots of men, including married men watch porn and masturbate. It is nothing to worry about. You stated that you two have worked out things in the romance department of your relationship and things are going great. I will be honest and say that my husband and I watch porn together, and it sort of gives us new ideas, and definitely turns us on to enjoy each other in different ways. Your man is home with you, pleasing himself, and not out with other women, then you should consider yourself lucky. Just be sure to keep open and honest communication in the bedroom, and be willing to try new things with each other, and enjoy who you are together!
Good luck to you!
2006-08-29 02:52:40 · answer #9 · answered by browneyes45506 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no big deal - it's just a fantasy and it appears that he's keeping it at that and not actually exploring other women. I'm sure that you too have fantasies and you probably see nothing wrong with that once you don't stray from your husband. you should also try masturbation as a way of getting to know your body and developing your sexuality.
2006-08-29 02:55:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋