My husband and I just broke up a week ago and I think he was seeing someone else. Well now that we are apart one of my old flames has been asking me out and wanting to come from out of state to see me. How soon is too quick and should I feel guilty if he was probably cheating anyways? I also have this other guy asking me out and he is attractive. Should I just go have fun or wait a while?
2006-08-29 02:43:44 · 17 answers · asked by Gremy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go out have a good time! And don't go back to your ex - no matter what he says. Good luck.
2006-08-29 02:46:52 · answer #1 · answered by doc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way I see it, being broken up from your husband for a week isn't really being broken up. You're technically not together, but since you have been separated for such a short time, there is a good chance you two could still work it out. Be that the case, if you messed around with another guy, it would really have the same emotional impact as if you had flat out cheated. "We technically weren't together that week" won't make you or him feel any better about what happened. And it's not like the feelings you had for your husband a week ago aren't still in there somewhere. If you weren't willing to date other people two weeks ago, I wouldn't do it now. Those guys will both still be there if you change your mind later.
2006-08-29 09:53:16 · answer #2 · answered by Chris D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, it's only been a week, 2nd, you state that you "think" he's seeing someone else. You need to give your marriage a chance to work and this old flame needs to back off and let you do that. He sounds like a vulture coming in for the kill! I guess you need to take a good look at your marriage and see if it's what you want. Just keep in mind that the grass may look greener on the other side but once you get there, it's merely green weeds!
2006-08-29 10:18:45 · answer #3 · answered by hummingbird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You stated that your husband & you are broke up, you don't mention divorce, if you are still married, wait until the divorce goes through, because if you are still married, & you start dating other men, you will be in the same shoes as that of your husband, dating someone else while you are married. If you are divorce, there is no time limit on when you can date again. But make sure that your husband was cheating on you. Good Luck
2006-08-29 09:52:22 · answer #4 · answered by birdsflies 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I would also ask what you mean by "Broke up?" Married people don't just "Break up." Anyways, if you still love your husband you probably shouldn't do anything rash right now (like date other people) it will FOREVER marr your marriage should you two decide to get back together - trust me. If the marriage is over and you no longer love him then you should do what makes you happy. Just know this: Whomever you date RIGHT after your separation/divorce from your husband, you will probably NOT have any type of longevity with.
2006-08-29 09:57:03 · answer #5 · answered by buckeyegrrl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you "break up" with your husband? Are you still married? Or are you saying you're separated now? Or did your divorce come through a week ago?
If there are children involved, I would hold off on the dating until the divorce is finalized. If there are no children, but a question of alimony, also hold off until the divorce is final. If none of those apply, then do whatever makes you happy.
2006-08-29 09:48:14 · answer #6 · answered by kja63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the experts say - wait - but i was still living with my husband while filing for divorce and started dating. we are now living apart and legally separated and i'm still dating - it has been a little confusing because there is hurt involved from men that come on strong and to a women who is coming off a bad marriage it can be flattering, but also hurtful when the man is not being sincere. so if you are upset about the loss of your marraige, you may also become additionally upset about the loss of your dating relationship - so it's too many losses for one person to handle - does that make sense? i got that from a divorce support group i joined recently. anyway, if you can handle it - date, but don't expect to get your happiness from it - you gotta get that from within.
2006-08-29 09:55:10 · answer #7 · answered by livetall1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you want to go out on dates as early as now, it is fine. I think that it's also important to give yourself time if you go out and find that you feel uncomfortable once you've given it a try. Some people use transferrance as a way to avoid dealing with feelings of loss and that can be unhealthy. But it is also just as unhealthy to sit at home and wallow in lonliness and bad feelings when you could be out having a laugh and getting to know someone a little better. If it feels right to be going out, I say, you go, grrrl.
2006-08-29 09:52:49 · answer #8 · answered by loLagrrrl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,i guess since you are on your own an are not tied in any committment you can just goahead and live yur life the way you want and not feel guilty for your ex husbands deeds!!
but just to point a thing here is,you assume that your husband was seeing someone and you are not sure about it,hope you didnt give up on your marriage nased on your assumptions and imaginations!!
2006-08-29 10:21:00 · answer #9 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One week? Honey.... maybe you should take some time out for yourself. Do you need to heal or were you "over" it long before it ended? If it were me, I would be sure that I had closure from my marriage ending before I got serious with anyone else. That way, no one else ends up being hurt. Good luck to you!
2006-08-29 09:47:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go have fun!!!
But don't get serious with anyone right now. You need time to heal and recover from your split up. This way you will not be bringing the baggage from another relationship into the new one.
2006-08-29 09:49:14 · answer #11 · answered by cinson1999 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋