i sometimes really struggle with this, its almost as if i am scared i will hurt there feelings if i say no! But then again, if we can help someone else shouldnt we? even if it is a little inconvenient?
I just wondered if anyone else finds it SOOOO hard to say no?
2006-08-29 02:21:55 · 33 answers · asked by BRICK 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
When I was younger yes, But as I got older I began to examine the thing that was being asked of me. 1.The intention of the person asking. 2. Does what they are asking of me conflict with my values and beliefs and agree with my conscounce. 3. If I choose to do what they ask of me will it occomplish good or bad. 4. What motivates me to do what they ask of me. 5. am I doing it for the right reasons, or just to be excepted or befriended 6. Do I really have the ability and resource to complete what they want of me.
To say yes and not to do it is not right
It is better not to say yes.
This is all for the very reason to learn how to ascert you . You are the only one who is reponsible for what ever it is that you do. No matter if someone asks it of you.
This holds true even with our work and jobs and many times will cause great struggles and sacrifices. But the lack of such individual descernment is what lead to the problems that now face our culture and society. Which ultimately is destroying it.
2006-08-29 02:40:04 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find it hard to say no and if I do I fret about it for days after. I worry too much about other people's feelings when the other people have probably forgotten about it in seconds and are getting on with their day!
Saying no and worring is better than saying yes and hating the decision though! Be true to yourself. It'll save you worries in the long run.
2006-08-29 02:32:21 · answer #2 · answered by galaxygirl_00_uk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to. I once lived with my in-laws because I was down and out but working. It turned out that I was paying all the rent and half the utilities. It was a good trade-off. I didn't have privacy though and wanted to move. I felt compelled to stay because they helped me but it was really hurting my well being. I wanted to leave but they were saying that I was obligated to stay because they helped me. I finally went to a counselor to ask her advice. She made me realize that I need to put my foot down in order to pursue my happiness and that may mean doing something that other people do not want me to do... therefore saying 'no' to them. It was hard but I did it and felt empowered to say it when necessary.
2006-08-29 02:27:04 · answer #3 · answered by madbaldscotsman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to but have been having life coaching to teach me techniques. Have an answer prepared beforehand, be as honest as poss like you are too busy or not feeling well etc dont apologise for saying no because then you are saying they are allowed to tread all over you. Remember if you promise something you cant live up to its better not to promise at all.
2006-08-29 03:13:39 · answer #4 · answered by ducky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read Henry Claud's " Boundaries".
I had that problem until I understood that by saying "yes" instead of "no", I wanted people like or love me.
If you are afraid to say "no" because of fear to look bad, try to remember that it is your right to have different opinion on the subject, have own plans. Learn to keep your boundaries clear.
2006-08-29 02:35:59 · answer #5 · answered by out-of-blue-sent 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its very easy for me to say no. I am really straight forward. Some people will take advantage of you if they realise that you are a person who is always saying yes & thats definately not a good thing.
2006-08-29 02:26:42 · answer #6 · answered by RACQUEL 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to say no but it can be done. I always find it is alot easier if you try saying "I'm really sorry I can't but maybe I could help you with .......... instead." That way you can still help the person but in a way that suits you.
2006-08-29 02:26:34 · answer #7 · answered by kittycymraeg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can never say no to people no matter what they ask me to do. Even if I don't want to do it I will still say yes and moan about it when they are not there. I don't like to let people down and I worry about coming across as rude if I say NO. So don't worry your not the only one.
2006-08-29 02:32:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not anymore! I get fed up as I've got so many illnesses affecting me but the DWP doesn't regard me as ill enough for incapacity benefit but I get smackhead or alkie spongers who get £40 more than me a fortnight going up to me and thinking I'm a cashpoint.
Tell them all to (ahem) 'go forth and multiply' but don't put it as politely as I just have!
2006-08-29 02:27:25 · answer #9 · answered by Uncle Sid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean, I find it really hard to say no to my close friends or work colleagues. It feels like your letting them down and they see you differently. If you really can't do something though you have to be strong and put your foot down, they will get over it eventually!!!
2006-08-29 02:33:58 · answer #10 · answered by lisaero 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋