But he made it clear that he was wanting to hit you, but showed restraint and didn't follow through. Would you leave or kick him out just out of principle? Or wait for him to actually hit you? What if he was a really strong man with big muscles and a threat from him is alot scareier than from a Napoleon Dynamite type dude?
2006-08-29 01:26:08 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's not the first time, or a joke.
2006-08-29 01:52:33 · update #1
For ebeyone who thinks I pushed him to the brink, I'll elaborate. It was on my birthday to start with, and he was driveing too close to the car in front of us, but I don't criticize his driving. I let out a small eek when the car next to us almost hit us while trying to change lanes. That is all I did. Oh and I apologized profusely for my fear of dying in a car crash. I guess I really asked for it, huh?
2006-08-29 04:23:57 · update #2
You're too busy for me Jim, even though your offer made me smile, alot. Thank you
2006-08-29 07:48:37 · update #3
leave now
if you need someone to support you start your new life, you know where to find me
2006-08-29 07:29:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should protect yourself. Beware of mental abuse as well as physical abuse. You are in mental abuse now, bordering physical abuse.
You clearly preserve this as a threat to you. Regardless of his intentions, or motivation --- you are upset, and this is causing to to cease being who you are. The only control you have in this situation is to control yourself. If you cannot happily live under this threat then you need to take actions to make your life better. Should you not take action, this behavior from him will continue and get more intense.
Options available. One, see if your health insurance has "Insanity coverage" ... check him into a mental facility. Often, men get away with chronic violent behavior because we women just dismiss him as being big, and we see our only choice as 'fleeing to safety'. However, men who do this have real social harming causes to society and often need treatment (medication, and training). It may even be that he has serious 'Road Rage' and this needs work so he can function in society better. The marriage may still fail, but at least you've taken steps to help another human fit into society.
Two, you can kick him out. Here, you being smaller and weaker have little leverage, except the cops ... which tend to piss off men with aggression even more.
Three, you can leave to start your own life. Don't know if he's the type who would stalk you and bring you back, but keep an eye out. If he does stalk you, then you would need to prepare yourself to find a woman's shelter (state, church, etc) and give up everything you own ... become a new person.
Best wishes. Now is the time to think (read the links - they may wake you up). It's better to think, plan, and make your move when you're out of duress rather than having to scramble the next time he postures up to get his way.
2006-08-29 13:11:40 · answer #2 · answered by Giggly Giraffe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you two were fighting and he had to hold himself back from hitting you. At least he restrained himself. Next time maybe just leave him alone for a while and let him cool. I know there have been many times that I've been so mad that I've wanted to just hit or push my husband away, but I stopped myself. It doesn't mean that I am abusive or that I hate my husband. I just had enough of arguing and I needed sometime to cool off and the feeling passed. Haven't you people ever been that mad...come on this guy isn't an abuser. He showed self control. Not everyone is an abuser.
2006-08-29 08:58:44 · answer #3 · answered by toobusy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
look first of all what were the circumstances around it were yall fighting is he stressed from somthing and was there any outside influence men and women think on different levels men when angry run out of words and the only thing they know is phisical but women are better at the verbal
and not to put it on you but if yall were fighting were you pushing him verbaly allot of times men will threten a hit but never do it
MY SUGGESTION IS COUNCELING NOT JUST LEAVE HIM SOUNDS LIKE THER IS SOME UNDERLIEING PROBLEM THAT CAUSED HIS OUT BURST not like he just walked up and rered back
also y would you hit him for it he didnt hit you and i belive in self defence but he didnt hit you so you would be rong to hit him abuse gose both ways if he is verbaly or physicly abuseing u then seek help also you can be verbaly or pysicly abuseive to him these things are so complicated. you need to consider what was going on at the time and evrything that was sorronding the situation and seek professional help before it dose escalate
2006-08-29 10:09:56 · answer #4 · answered by shiftlicker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would depend on if this was a one time only thing,, or if it happened alot,, and if there was any other abuse going on.
I mean,, this is gonna sounds sooo bad,, but my husband now has hit me like 3 times,, but it was really my fault,, I punched him in the face and he turned around and hit me back,, can't say I didn't deserve that. But I also know he would never just hit me out of anger. And is a great person.
those are just my personal experiences
2006-08-29 08:36:45 · answer #5 · answered by B V 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen i am all to farmilar with the abuse of a spouce, tell him you want you two to go talk to someone, and for him to take anger man. classes as well. This is just the tip of the ice. Trust me, mine started with this,then came the punching and cutting of hair and the final turning point when i had to leave was when he threw me threw a wall while i was holding my child who was maybe 6 mths old at the time.
Trust me, if the attemp was their, then he has a problem. I am with someone i plan on marring but my past has screwed me up to the point of any suden move i flinch, you don't want to be like that.
Good Luck
Jenn
2006-08-29 08:41:47 · answer #6 · answered by Army Love 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, he sounds like a real a55, and I've been smacked around by a few men (although I totally deserved it). I think for the incident you described that was overkill. It's all about context, is he normally an ********? Is this a serious question? I don't even know anymore....
2006-08-29 14:58:03 · answer #7 · answered by mutterhals 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well.. you have to give him credit for not hitting you, to me that says "i do not want to hurt you, but leave me alone". I would suggest that you calmly sit down with him and try to get him to go to anger management classes. If he refuses, then tell him that him "wanting" to hit you really scared you ( or made you angry, or whatever) and the next time he raises a hand to you that you will call the cops..leave.. or whatever.
2006-08-29 08:53:01 · answer #8 · answered by Justin's Wife of 10 Years!! 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Any man who would or even think about hitting is out of control and it is only a matter of time before it actually happens. He will hit you and children (if any) then he will be so sorry but it will happen again and again. I say get out for you own protection.
2006-08-29 11:04:31 · answer #9 · answered by tarey w 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stand up to him. Tell him that if he hits you that's it and don't threaten you. You're life is too short to put up with that sh*t, but it souds as if you already know that. Seems as though he's testing you. Just tell him like it is and if he wants to play that game or he thinks he's that big and bad, leave him! Good luck to you.
2006-08-29 08:34:27 · answer #10 · answered by serin7300 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'd rather wait and see if he's going to hit you. Even if he doesn't, he's trying to intimidate you. You should never be scared of the person who's suppose to love you. I would leave. Next time, he may not be able control himself and then you'll regret staying.
2006-08-29 08:36:04 · answer #11 · answered by T.G. 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋