why do women stay in abusive relationships?

Question

most women especially in africa stay in relationships even though they are abused by their spouses. why dont they opt for divorce or seek for help from their families

Answer 1

Many women are forced to stay in bad relationships as they have had their confidence beaten out of them. Usually they are afraid for any repercussions that may follow. Better question would have been
" Lets settle violent husbands once & for all " see what improvement that would make on society. This subject makes me ashamed to be a man.....

Answer 2

Men will always have power over women. No matter how successful or seemingly independent women might become or how often they go out jogging or to do palates you just can't escape that fact. An aggressive, threatening man to a woman is actually extremely frightening. Most killings from domestic violence actually happen when the woman has just left or is trying to leave. If there are children involved this complicates things even more. Calling the police often gets social services involved. Instead of helping the woman and her children find somewhere safe to stay, the children usually get taken into care so that social services can profit from them. Another thing an abusive person can do is threaten to hurt the children if their victim doesn't do as told or make it look like the victim is the one abusing the children. Many domestic violence victims are muslim or Sikh women from countries like India, Pakistan or Somalia. Their family might disown them if they divorce their Husband and even worse they could be killed in a sick honor killing. I am also pretty sure that abusive people have their 'nice' moments too, where they appear to really love their partner. Many abusive people also cut their partner off from friends and family, giving them nowhere to run to if they leave the relationship. Many people do not have families to run to and the place they share with their partner is their only home.

Answer 3

Most have been trained into believing that they are not worthy of a decent relationship. The one who is the Abuser *male or female* gets a 'high' from this....it is a power trip, or control issue. They like making the one being abused powerless. It can be very tricky in leaving...the Abuser will tell the Abused that they will kill the family....most never act on this....another control. Also, there are 3 Cycles in the Abuse....the one that the Abused person looks for is the Honeymoon Phase, where everything is wonderful...the Partner will be as sweet as can be...real attentive and all....

Answer 4

Well, for me, it was the fear of failure. Didn't know how I could face my family and friends when they found out what had been going on. I was always a strong person and had allowed myself to get into a situation that I could not handle. But enough was enough when he came at me with a butcher knife and to heck what anyone thought! I like my head attached to my shoulders and not rolling around on the floor somewhere. All women in abusive situations should get out before it gets to the point where they can be fatally hurt. I look back now and wish I would have gotten out at the first signs of abuse. Maybe things could be a lot different for me now.

Answer 5

As a woman who was in an abusuive relationship for almost 4 years...slowly they put a gap between you and your family and friends, they make sure you associate with whom they want you to, or my want to keep you under "lock and key", they also give that false sense of I'm always watching you, I always know where you are and my friends are watching you too. There's also the emaotional side of it, it was low self-esteem to begin with he latched on to that and used it against me. No one would want me and such. It wasn't until the moment that a new military assignment took me from the states to Japan, that I finally saw what everyone else did...he was a monster. DOn't get me wrong he was clean cut, all american boy, wealthy and charming. Behind closed doors it was awful. And after every "event" there were the I'm sorries and please forgive me along with an expensive gift to boot. I stayed with him AND even married him after a 3 yr eagagement with all the abuse, he was wealthy and I was a gurl from a very rural town in Louisiana. He had been able to give and show me things I probably never would have. My mother toldme that he was a man who could care for me for the rest of my life, after I left and went to Japan I knew that I had to file for divorce then or I would never have the courage to leave when he came to join me 6 months later. I wanted it all over quietly because he was also a great military man and it would ruin his career. I'm glad I left, I'm married to a wonderful man and have two young sons. It's a struggle and I still and probably will always have to deal with the emotional and physical abuse. But I'm still here, and very lucky!

--American Gurl--

Answer 6

Abusive relationships-Habit, they know their partner, are afraid to start again, have low self esteem, low financial base, lacking in confidence, family/friends tell them to "keep on trying" to save it even when it is clear that it is over or cannot be even saved, all of these things keep her in the abusive relationship until the worst happens, either she kills him or he kills her because of intollerable anger and rage which will have built up over the years and changes the character out of recognition. The country does not even come into it, it happens all over the world.

Africa, Asia, Europe, North, Central and South America. Women in some parts of South America are even being killed by their partners because they find the courage and want to get out of an abusive relationship/marriage and start afresh. Its a big problem.

Answer 7

Some women dont have any family to support them. I think most women in abusive situations are ashamed and dont want to tell their friends/family/community that they are accepting this kind of treatment from someone so close to them. Some of these women also want to believe that the abuser will finally stop even though he never does.

Answer 8

There is probably a number of reasons for women to stay in abusive relationships. Religion...divorce is a sin, Too scared to go in case partner/husband is threatening them, feel they have no place to go, don't know any other life without their partner or simply because they feel that they deserve to be treated like sh!t. There are probably more reasons but from a friends view this is how they felt.

Answer 9

It isn't just in Africa that this happens.. there are thousands of women in the US that are doing the same thing.
As a personal answer to this question.. Alot of the reason for not leaving is fear..
they have been also verbally abused into thinking that they are worthless and can't do anything on there own.. they are afraid of being alone.. alot of times there are kids involved. and they can't support them on there own.. there are numorous reasons that they can't find the courage to leave an abusive relationship.
They are afraid of telling someone what is going on.. There are alot of ways of covering up the symtoms of being abused.
An abused woman is kept secluded away from having friends so no one will find out what the man is doing to her..
so she has no one to really talk to about it.. And they don't always stay.. They eventually get the guts to stick up for themselves but they end up really hurting the guy to get out.. look at lorriana bobbit.. she was my idol.. boy did he deserve it..
usually the guy will get what he deserves in the end just to bad it has to come to that because some men can't behave like humans..
alot of good men out there just have to get out of situation to find one.

Answer 10

Every body's situation is different. It's easy to say that when you are on the outside looking in. A lot of women are fearful for their lives, they have no self esteem from being abused for so long. A lot of families, unbelievably, turn their back on them as they don't want any trouble at their door. If kids are involved then they can be used as a pawn. It takes a lot of courage for someone to leave and I commend anyone who finds that.