How to make a 6 year old accept parent's divorce?

Question

My boyfriend is getting a divorce from his wife and though they were already living separately, his 6 year old son is taking the divorce badly.
He used to be very nice but now he picks up fights with his 2 elder sibings for no reason at all.
Could you guys help me on how to deal with him. Until now he knows me as a friend of his dad but my bf has just told his kids that am his gf. We will be taking the kids out soon and i know this time their perception of me will be different.
How do i deal with them? Am a young unmarried girl, who has got along quite well with my bf's kids until now.

Answer 1

I am also in the same situation as u. Just be natural and love them. If they have ben nice to you until now, i just hope things wont change for u. Love them and show them you love them. try doing some activities which they will like together.
With your bf's help, am sure you both will make it. Just let them know and make your bf also tell them that you are not the cause of the divorce. Le tthem know that neither are they.
Be very gentle with them and am sure they will realise y their dad has fallen in love with you

Answer 2

There is nothing you can do. Imagine how this little boy feels that the most secure union he has ever known is divorcing. His worlds is turned upside down. First of all you need to ask yourself why you are entertaining the company of a man that isn't even divorced yet? Where are your standards? What is the big hurry? You can't wait until the papers are signed. Why don't you let this boy heal and tell your married boyfriend that he needs to focus on his child and their health and not a girlfriend? I think you are both being very selfish. I wouldn't touch a man that wasn't divorced and had children that need him right now. You are taking away the father's attention that needs to be on the child. Go find you a man that doesn't have baggage and find a man without children. Don't be so selfish. You are right you are young and unmarried now go find yourself a young and unmarried guy. This man has much more to deal with then you. Want more for yourself!

Answer 3

Kids have a tuff time when parents split up. First thing is you boyfriend and ex-wife need to talk the child to counseling. Even thou they are not together they have to work together for this child. As for you let the child know nothing is changing between you and him. Back off a little bit he has alto going on right now. I don't know if he can handle much more the way it sounds.

Answer 4

you have to think that the child is six years old. There may not be much you can do about how he feels about his biological parents breaking up. I dont know what the time frame is but if its just been a few weeks maybe its too sudden for the childs dad to be involved. May i suggest that you talk to all of the children you and their daddy. Try and get out as much information as you can. Find out how they all feel. let them know just because your in thier lives dosnt mean their mommy isnt going away, your not trying to replace her. good luck with this. you may also want to have the child speak with a therapist, it might do him some good.

Answer 5

It may have to do with his age, that is too young to expect him to accept anything so brutal. And It is from the child's point of view,he can't be expected to understand this now. Most likely as many kids do they really think the absent parent will be back. My older girls did when they were babies they thought it all could be fixed like magic. Very heartbreaking for me to see and not be able to make it all better for them. They do not want to be unfaithful to either parent. So let your boyfriend work on this,don't be in a hurry for them to like you. In time with lots of love from both parents he will be able to not only accept you into his life but love you as well. all the best on your journey ~A~

Answer 6

I think counseling should have started when or before they decided to separate. You can bet the boy feels you are to blame in some way and that he doesn't need another mother, he loves the one he has. If you can get him to counseling than let him know you just want to be his friend. He has only one mother and one father, they both love him

Answer 7

I think their mom may be behind this. No woman wants to yesterday's old papaer so to speak.
If he has an outburst with you you need to take him aside & tell him you care about him very much & want to be his friend but that behavior is not acceptable.
There really is no way to "make" them accept you, especially if someone is telling them no to like you.
Just give it time but be fim but gentle with them, they will respect you more later on than if you try to buy their affection.

Answer 8

Unfortunetly time is the only thing that can heal. He is going through a traumatic time. Maybe he should see a counselor. Take it slow and I wish the best of luck to you, your man, and the kids!

Answer 9

Use alot of compassion, patience and understanding. The fact is you cannot make anyone accept something, not even a six year old boy. He is going to grieve over thi for some time, please let him grieve so he can move on.

Answer 10

Time.and keep being their friend. when i split with my husband and found someone esle it took my eldest daughter (who was about 6) over a year to get use to the fact i was with somone else and not her dad.