how to tell a 7years old kid that your father is dead?

Question

the kid has so much intelligence and we know that he knows that his father is dead but what should we say when he asks us about his father?is it ok for him to see his relations cring for his dady's death? i want a psychologist idea please.

Answer 1

I'm not a psychologist, but I think it would be best to be as natural as possible, so that this young person also learns that it is okay to mourn (i.e., sees others - adults - doing it too).

I would be straight up with my seven year old daughter. I'd call 'em as I see 'em (so to speak).

Answer 2

Children do not understand that death is a permanent condition until they are 8 or 9 years old. So your son knows his dad is dead, but doesn't yet understand that he won't be coming back. Keep telling him in a gentle and loving manner that his father has died, and he won't be able to see him anymore. If you have a belief in a higher power, you can help him by reinforcing that fact with him, for example, "Daddy has gone to heaven." You may have to remind him of all of this for quite some time, but this is very normal for children.

It is also fine to let your child see the relatives crying for their lost loved one. This is a life lesson, because children as well as adults need to understand that showing emotion and feeling pain/hurt over this kind of loss is okay. It helps as children grow up to know that there are no "stigmas" in the family about crying.

I know that you must also be under a lot of stress during this time too, and it is okay for you to share with your child your grief, explaining that you "miss daddy too". This can be a very bonding experience. Take care of yourself during this traumatic event, and try and be patient with your child. Grief counseling for you and your child could be very beneficial at this time.

Good luck to you.

Answer 3

First of all, the child should be lectured on what Death is all about. let him see it as a natural thing which must surely come and cannot be avoided.Use things around him to show examples by killing them e.g cripping animals, insects etc keep them in a safe place and make him to understand that death has occured and they can never come back to live. Their bodies remains and gets decayed while the spirit lives forever.
In this case, I believe the child won't see death as a bad thing anymore but will rather accept it whenever it comes.

Answer 4

When I was a hospice nurse, we recommended to families that the child be told, in private, by two people only, two people whom the child derives the most sense of security from, told during daylight hours in a bright and clean room/ told quietly and with few words/be prepared for the child's possible questions/ comfort the child physically with closeness, on your lap/ speak reverently, for the child will feel safer if the spirit of his father remains in the hearts and eyes of the people around him/ be prepared to stay quite still with a child in your lap for a long time. He will need to rest in utter safty and comfort in your arms/provide privacy and calm throughout the house so that he can walk about for awhile afterwards without having to face another adult/attend him CONSTANTLY...be right there outside the bathroom when he uses it, let him know that you are right there...sleep in a chair or cot for a few nights near the boy/be his nurse in all ways/ let him play with other children as soon as he appears bored/don't medicate him for "grief"/ provide his favorite food without ado or trouble/After a few days, arrange for one close adult family member or friend at a time to pay the boy a half-hour visit just to be there for each other and to seal the bond between them so that the boy gets a strong sense of belonging to a family that is well-organized and survives even when someone dies/ask the visiting adult to bring with them a small, beautifully wrapped present for the boy, gifts that are not expensive, or "for later when you feel better", but tiny toys and pens and markers and such that the boy will enjoy while he's feeling under the weather. Little treats are helpful, too, to bring a little brightness and cheer into his hours. If he doesn't want to attend religious ceremonies or the funeral or viewing, etc., do not force him. Ask first. Make sure you inform his school of these events and ask to speak with the school counselor AND nurse about the matter in private.

Answer 5

Maybe it would be best just to be straight with him or tell him he's gone to a better place and that he loves him very much. Yes seeing others mourn death especially with crying can help him understand the meaning of death more. That it is a part of a life, that we learn to grieve and eventually move on with our lives but we never forget the loved ones we've lost as they will always remain in our hearts.

Answer 6

It is best to tell the child everything and not keep any secrets. Let them see all the emotions involved. There are age appropriate ways of telling a child so they are not scared or will think that something bad will happen to them. When he asks about his dad, just tell him all that a 7 year old needs to know. Him talking is his way of trying to grasp ahold of an understanding to what happened to his father. God bless you all.

Answer 7

I have a Masters degree in Counseling Psychology. For God's sakes tell the poor kid what it going on if he doesn't have an inkling already. Just be straight with him and be ready for the questions. Think about getting him into some grief counseling.

Answer 8

Tell him that his father is gone, and that its ok for him to cry, mourn, and be angry. He is somewhere special where we can't really go to at the moment.

Tell him that if he want to see him, all he have to do is to close his eyes and talk to him.

Tell him that his dad is really gone, but will watch him from time to time, just to check on him.

Explain that he might be in better place, and that life can be difficult to understand that there are certain things in life that we have to accept ... and remember, whatever happens... it happen for a reason.

Answer 9

This is not an easy situation. The most important thing is to be honest and explain it in a calm way. Assure him that everything will be fine and that his father will want him to do good in life. Show him lots of Love.

Answer 10

Your kid may be intelligent but it is very hard for him to find that his dad has died! You have to tell it him because soon or late he is going to learn it! You have to be honest and from now you have to stand by him! In this way the kid will try (with your help) to surpass it! Don't worry and you have to show him that you are ok! Life continues...