My husband is a business man but he rarely bring any money home. I have to pay mostly of the rent and expenses in the household. We have been marriage 3 years and we have a child together. He works from 7 a.m sometime to 9p.m at night. I can not afford money for baby sit and my dad have to help me out to take care the kid (because I work at night). He had lied to me in the past but he promised to fix after I mentioned to him once about 6 months ago. However nothing improvment from him. I currently had a lot of debts because I took out credit cards to loan money for him. I just want this man out of my life but every time I mention about his business or I'm so tire about his lie; he just breaking stuff inside the house and there's one time he used a bottle hit on his head. That the reason I never want to mention about it even I really got no feeling with this man anymore. Please help me what will be the best way to get a divorce without making him as a mad cow. Many thanks
2006-08-28 22:59:00 · 17 answers · asked by Kiki 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just leave. Pack up and leave. Get settled, get an attorny, file the paperwork and get the divorce. He'll get the point. I agree communication is important but he sounds like the type of man to just ignore whatever you've got to say or throw a tantrum so when he is gone, pack up and go honey. He is not worth it. Good luck!
2006-08-28 23:03:15 · answer #1 · answered by heatherlynnmorrow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with your father to watch the kids then contact and go see a lawyer ( you can get the first appointment free most of the time )
Let the lawyer know your fears and desires for a separation / divorce. He needs to know how abusive he is and how much you fear him.. at some point in time you will need a restraining order depending on what country you are in..
He also will need to know about the business he is in ... Your husband sounds very mentally ill dear ....
You will need to decide if you want to up root the children and go to a shelter ( it might be safest at first ) or just plain kick his butt out of the house ... so you will need to call a domestic abuse service in your area .. they WILL help you with far more information then you will get here ...
After you have found out all this information then is when you will need to make a move .. either by moving out into a shelter OR packing his stuff while he is away and changing the locks with his stuff on the outside .. ( you could drop it off where he is working ;) ) ...
The cops WILL have to be called and hopefully you will already have the restraining order which will throw his buns in jail where maybe he will find help for his anger problems .. it will buy you space to think ...
Best of Luck to you .. your a brave woman for making this drastic and dangerous change ( since he is unstable ) and a smart one for knowing that the change needs to be made .... You deserve a man to love you NOT walk all over you
2006-08-29 00:07:38 · answer #2 · answered by MrsDave 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
although u should not have to leave since u have been paying most of the bills it would probably be better. Get a restraining order against him if u feel he might hurt u or your child. File for divorce and move in with family or friend until the divorce. That way he has had time to calm down. Remember u don't have to feel guilty and most important if it scares u that he has a temper well first of all that is not good for your kid!! So i would make sure in the divorce papers that it is court ordered he take anger management classes before getting unsupervised visits with the child. Good Luck.
2006-08-29 01:09:47 · answer #3 · answered by hubbys2ndbest2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you have someone at home with you when you decide to approach the subject of divorce just in case your husband turns violent... Talk to him calmly and tell him you are no longer happy with the marriage and would like a divorce... Do you have somewhere safe that you can go? You need to plan ahead... Firstly, arrange a place that you and your child can stay for a while... Then go and have the divorce papers written up, if you have no money i think you can get legal aid and have them ready to give to him when you approach him... Also if you are feeling unsafe after you have left him you can apply to take out a protection order for you and your child... You need to make sure you have lots of support on hand because it is going to be tough... But hang in there and you will move on with your life and be happy...
2006-08-28 23:12:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy.. u dont say anything to him, soon as he leaves for work u pack as much of your stuff up as u can before he comes home, and then u leave before he gets home.. go stay with ur dad.. then u leave him a letter, telling him exactly how u feel, and why u had to do all of this in a letter because he cant be talked to.. u have to let him know where u are because he has the right to know where his child is, but if u are scared of him, physically, then u should probably go file a restraining order upon him, untill he cools down..
2006-08-28 23:05:18 · answer #5 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1.The place you live in is not a home.MOVE OUT!!!
2.Get a good divorce lawyer and let him tell the person you are calling a husband that you are moving on with life.
2006-08-28 23:06:32 · answer #6 · answered by Freethrashing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear madam,
everybody in this world has got their own problems. can you point out a person with out worries?. so try to handle the problem by yourself. don not take any advice. you are the only person to take the best solution to solve your problems in this world. Think Twice.
2006-08-29 00:10:49 · answer #7 · answered by sun P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a lawyer and serve his *** w/ papers ithink that speaks alot don't u? Make sure u have somewhere to go... make sure the technical stuff is taken care of child support/ custody etc..
2006-08-28 23:05:19 · answer #8 · answered by ~Niecee~ âË» âË» ♂ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
emotion blackmail works very well on him and he use it to control you, put yourself togother with your family beside you, you might over the the fear, but first hide the guns or weapons in your house, in case he truns ugly and of course,the lawyer. it is better to live alone with your child than misery and sick with someone else
2006-08-28 23:10:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
file for divorce sweetie this is not a healthy relationship and if you must file a restraining order
2006-08-28 23:04:12 · answer #10 · answered by chunkybaby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋