in between. I have helped this lady out so much, I've even mowed her lawn while she's been on holiday whilst I had a knee injury (I'm also female). I've fed her son's goldfish, emptied her trash twice a week (to make it look like she's in) and I never hear from her in between at all. I don't even get a "how are you?" I told her to use the Police to look after her house while she's away, but she never does and bugs me to look after it. I feel guilty if I don't.
2006-08-28 22:10:58 · 16 answers · asked by Say It Like You Mean It 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
There's a difference between helping a friend and a friend taking advantage of you. Based on what you said, she is a TAKER. If she really was a friend she would do more than just ask you to watch her place. She needs you more than you need her. I suggest you set her straight, and tell her "That her credit with you has just expired" find someone else to take as a fool. The only thing you should be guilty about, is that you let your guard down and she got the best of you! The saying still stands "What goes around comes around. Its her turn. Shut your doors for good. Thanks for asking. Aloha from Hawaii
2006-08-28 22:19:29 · answer #1 · answered by rechsteiner1986 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I hate to be the only to tell you this, yet you at the instant are not engaged. Being engaged potential that (a) he popped the question, (b) you typical and (c) you're the two actively making plans your wedding ceremony. you're genuine in asserting that his notion grew to become into purely a "close-up notion", designed to make you think of that the relationship is shifting directly to the subsequent degree, yet under no circumstances meant to be accompanied up on. And once you think of approximately it from his attitude, why might desire to he marry you? He has each little thing he might desire to in all probability pick: a house, a kinfolk, a baby, a stay-in maid, a conventional intercourse substantial different. And if he gets bored with all of it the following day, the only individual he will have economic responsibilities to is the baby. No messy divorce, no legal professionals, no courtroom expenses, no alimony, no splitting of sources. Like many silly ladies, you have given him each little thing you had to offer without making specific you have been getting a dedication in return. in case you pick a guy to marry you, do no longer play abode with him.
2016-11-06 00:31:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you got yourself stuck really good in this one? l know it must be nerve racking to take the responsibility of a whole other house to be responsible for (let alone one that is not even yours) for any period of time as that is quite a burden for one person alone.
Maybe you could let her know, in writing, that although you've been happy to help her in the past with not even a mention of recompensation nor have thought of it (lie of course) its just too much for you to handle now with the state of things in the world i.e., crime in urban cities. Tell her you'd be glad to keep an eye out from a distance when you happen to be out and about in your normal comings and goings just as your sure she would be.....but as far as carrying the burden of the "full responsibility" for this lady's property while she is away on holiday ...it's just not something that you can help her do right now.
You've done as much as you can do to be a good neighbor and hope she has been willing to act as if she had been as well, although your suspicious that this may not the been the case as is apparent by all of the gifts she has brought you whilst she had been away so many times before.
Heck tell her your expecting that huge package of "little thank you gifts" to arrive any day now as they must have been caught up in the mail all this time. Being thoughtful is one of her best attributes or so you have heard although you do not have first hand experience of that being the case. (hehe)
Sweetie it's time to get some kudos where kudos are due. It's alright to stand up for yourself once in a while and even if you may feel a little guilty about it later, you'll sleep a lot better knowing that you've given this person all the rope to hang herself with in showering you with gratitude for all you've done for her in the past which you are sorely due!
I commend you for your past duties and hope the future doesn't hold so much for you to burden. I wish you were my neighbor! What ya doing next month? LOL
Hang in there!!!
..............think about it...............
2006-08-28 23:05:22 · answer #3 · answered by MsEagleTX 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get used. Tell her the next time that you're leaving too and after a few times of that she'll get used to it. Plus do offer her the hand of friendship and ask her directly 'why do you trust me with your house but don't want to talk to me as a friend?'. Don't feel guilty about saying no to someone who's using you.
2006-08-28 22:15:05 · answer #4 · answered by DrSH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy does she have a hold on you! I bet you're very easily manipulated, aren't you?
I suggest you politely tell her that you won't be interested in helping her out by watching after her house anymore but that she should hire a house-sitter instead.
It's possible that she doesn't contact you mid-trip because A. she totally trusts you or B. she's a spy and can't
2006-08-28 22:14:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel guilty at all. She's the one that is selfish and impolite (to say it the polite way). Be assertive and tell her to cope with her problems without your help.
And if you can't find the courage to tell her that, say that you're leaving as well and won't be around to take care of her house.
2006-08-28 22:20:51 · answer #6 · answered by Jezabeel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried getting to know her better. Ask her over for a coffee and become a friend rather than nieghour. It's good of you to do these few things (as any decent person would do), and it is nice to be needed.
2006-08-28 22:20:19 · answer #7 · answered by marcus p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, don't complain about what you tolerate.Write out a bill for those services and mail it to her. You are not in the house sitting services and if she continues to have you do this then bill her for it. They have services out there that charge for this and you are not responsible for these things with out getting paid for them. She is taking advantage of you and you are the only one who can stop it. Either bill her or don't do it.
2006-08-28 22:25:00 · answer #8 · answered by really???? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your neighbor sounds rude and inconsiderate. I agree with the other postings, either tell her that you are not going to be around yourself to look after her house during that period of time, or tell her that you cannot look after her house.
2006-08-28 22:51:05 · answer #9 · answered by shelleygail76 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say Ok then go on holidays yourself...She will never bother you again after that!
2006-08-28 22:15:18 · answer #10 · answered by laurie_j_vieau 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋