Should I end my marrige if iam not happy?

Question

I've been married for a year but I feel I am not happy. After getting married I moved with my Husband to a new city and since then my life became so boring and empty. I lost my family and friends and my life became cooking for my husband, cleaning for my husband, looking good for my husband,,,,,,,,,
Despite that, I feel that my husband does not appreciate what I did and what I am still doing.
I don't feel that he cares about what I need, I am 27 and been begging to have a baby but he decided that I must work first without caring about my feelings and needs. even in my Job search it's him who decides what position I have to consider and how long will have to work for before I get pregnant never mind whether I like the job or not.
Even in sex, I have to do things that disgust me to satisfy him, and its over when he is done, and we have it when he is in mood.

I am thinking of Divorce but to be honest I am scared of that big step plz rell me what to do

Answer 1

It seems like you are in a domineering relationship. But there are a lot of things that you can do to save your marriage if you don't want divorce. First talk, talk, talk to him and secondly, don't feel so sorry for yourself...go out, get a hobby, get fit, make new friends, join a library, take a course. Do give your marriage a chance but make sure that he knows you don't want to be taken for granted, tell him that you miss the romance, be supportive of him without being walked over and don't forget...communication is the only key to a marriage. If things get worse, get counselling. If nothing works, walk out.

Answer 2

Who you are and what you want is important. That said, only you can makeyourself happy. If your important life goals and your husband's are in conflict, at the very least you two have to discuss that. There's an old quote about marriage that says when two people are married they are not looking at each other, they are looking in the same direction. Figure out if you and your husband are looking in the same direction. If not, divorce makes sense. Life is short. You will never grow as a person if you let someone hold you back. Also, go to a bookstore and look-up Divorce for Dummies for some perspective on what getting a divorce means and how it will impact your life financially and otherwise. Have a plan. Good luck.

Answer 3

Hello, My heart goes out to you both.
Following a partner to a new city is very hard, I have experience in this. If your husband started a new job he is probably under a lot of stress to learn it and prove himself and he surely feels the pressure from getting you into this situation too. It is very difficlt to start from scratch when you move and lose your support groups but like it or not - there you are. Only you can fix your situation, your husband cannot go out and make new friends for you. Having a baby in a situation where you are contemplating divorce is a big mistake. A baby will not solve any problems it will only add to them and you will be linked for life to the him.

You are scared because you are in a very weak position in the relationship. You need to stand up for yourself and he will not take you seriously unless you get either a job of your own or plan or a viable way out.

You do not have to do things that disgust you just because you are married. and you your needs are just as important as his.
Life is too short to get pushed around.
Talk to your husband get some counseling and if that doesn't work or he refuses to take it seriously,just get out. You are young enough to find someone else easily.
Good luck.

Answer 4

Sounds like you maybe are a little depressed and homesick........My husband is military so every 3 years we move and make new friends find new jobs and then you move on so I know how hard it is for being in a new place and you do feel so alone and alot of the times helpless, and I think that's what maybe is hurting you in the bedroom also so I think you should give it a little time and as for a baby sounds like you are ready and hes not, but that's alot harder subject although I think that it would fulfill you but I am not sure that it will make you happier in your relationship so that I would also think about if you aren't happy your children will not be happy. Good Luck and God Bless You!

Answer 5

Marriage is not always a holiday when everybody is happy most of the times it is stormy. In the early phased of my marriage I felt the same, I felt that I was just being a servant that I want to get divorce. All you can do is to sit down and try to settle things. Try to let him know your feelings and problems. If you are feeling bored do some excercise or yoga or make friends to your new place. You are feeling this because you want to feel it. Forgetting, all the good times you had with your husband. Stop thinking negative. Start the change with you and you will see everything will come according to what you want.

Answer 6

marriage is a 50/50 give and take relationship. But sometimes u dont always feel like u get back what u put into it. I think u need to talk to your hubby and tell him how u feel. Tell him that u want to have a baby and if he insists on being a control freak and not being a husband then u will have to leave. But don't leave without being able to say u gave it your all. They always say that the first year is the hardest. Good Luck

Answer 7

Life ain't easy ... Just because your boat isn't floating smoothly in the ocean of life is no reason to abandon ship. Hell, you haven't even given your relationship in the marraige phase a chance, but, it sounds like you're resenting the control your husband has over you more than anything. Getting married on a whim is easy. Getting a divorce is contrary if one is not willing to let go. Sounds like your hubby likes the control and you failed or refused to see that before committing to marraige. All I can say is seek professional help. ( sounds like both of ya's could use it )

Answer 8

Now when was the last time you communicated your frustrations with him? It seems like he doesn't know you're unhappy. You need to speak up about them and let him know that he's putting you in a position to be unhappy. Try to work it out first before you start thinking of divorce. Besides, you don't need anyone to make you happy. You can do that yourself.

Answer 9

Get "Battle Feilds of the Mind" by Joyce Meyer. Your happiness does not depend on the people around you. It was both of your choices to move there for stop blaming him. Get out get you some new friends. He can't make them for you. Go get a job and meet people there. And talk to him about your sex life not yahoo answers.

Answer 10

If i was your friend I would be telling you to leave his a**. You seem to be more like a slave then a wife. You should be an equal partner in the relationship. If I were you I'd count my blessings that your not pregnant yet and get out now! You do not need a man that is going to control you. You don't want to stay with man that you despise and then bring kids into it. They need parents that love each other.