Why are we so willing to believe what government says about so called deadbeat dads?

Question

A politician reports that 99% of children on welfare is because their fathers won't pay their child support, yet 17% of children on welfare are a part of intact families where the parents don't earn enough to support them.

They claim millions of dollars is owed in child support, without mentioning that it includes estimated amounts in cases where the mother does not know who the father is, and children where the the mother, though married, still uses her maiden name. It also includes cases where the father has been hit with up to 18 years of retroactive child support for children they did not know existed.

According to Judge David Grey Ross, the head of Child support enforcement under President Clinton, the vast majority of child support is paid in full, while court ordered visitation is violated 65% of the time. He made this statement at a Children's Right Council conference in Maryland. He was replaced soon after.

We know that the government lies about so much about money, can child support be any different. It benefits the Counties to inflate the figures, as they get a 15% kickback from the federal government for each dollar claimed to be owed.

One thing of interest is that death is not considered a proper reason for not paying child support. I've seen dozens of such cases where the parents of a deceased man is contacted years later, to see if there is any part of their estate that can be attached. Widows of these men can also be required to continue paying. In one case, a former Springfield, MO police officer couldn't keep up his support after losing his leg in a hunting accident and being released from the Dept. He could get an equal paying and the judge refused to lower his payments. He died while in jail for back payments. They wouldn't let him keep his artificial leg and there was a fire. That was 10 years ago, and his mother is still being contacted by CSE. He had older children, from his first wife who passed away, but they are not allowed to leave anything to them in their Wills.

Answer 1

I just know that my ex owes me 45,000 dollars in back child support for a child that he KNEW existed. And welfare did not pay me a dime. I worked hard for my money to support my kids.
And instead, HE is the one who lives on welfare with his current wife and HER kids.
I also know that I have legal custody of a grandchild and I receive no child support from either of her parents.
But yet the mother is on welfare for another child that she brought into this world and can not take care of.
Yet I am disabled and live on disability now. And believe me that I paid in enough taxes in my life time that I am not sponging off anyone. The money I receive for disability is money that I paid in working 2 and sometimes 3 jobs to support my kids without welfare.

And in ALL the cases of child support............They have all been more then welcome to have visitation but have chosen NOT to. Guess they feel guilty for not supporting their kids and can not look their children in the eyes for visitation while knowing that these kids have had to struggle to survive because the parents did not care enough to help support them.

Answer 2

I've read some of these answers and the whole thing that comes to mind is- "why don't you have a paper trail?" Use checks or money orders to pay child support and put it on the memo "child support payment of 08/30/06" It's that simple. Or you could have the mother sign a reciept.

Why do men run away from their obligations? Why do women make bad choices in the first place?
Women need to take responsibility for their bodies in the first place. Don't have sex with a man unless you are prepared to take full responsiblity of your children because you don't know if the man is going to stick around or not. And if the mother doesn't know the father. She should be stuck with the whole bill. She is being irresponsible and we should not have to pay for it.
Why do men support other men when it comes to not paying child support. Some men find jobs that they can get paid "under the table" so they can't be traced. Some men are proud of the fact they are dead beats. I've heard it when I've been amongst men many times. "How'd you get out of it?"
It's so hard for some women to make ends meet because they don't have the support of their families either.
It's an imperfect system. The government can only do so much.
It's our responsibilty as citizens to meet our obligations whatever they may be.

Answer 3

i dont know about all that
i know this- my first daughters father signed a paternity declaration
so he knew what he was getting "stuck"with
he hasnt seen her since she was six months old
shes eight
he bought me one can of formula when i brought her home from the hospital
there is no custody ruling
there is a support order
he has never paid willingly
and never made any attempt to see her
and weve been in the same place all this time, with a listed number
he started being garnished when she was four
the support money is not much
less than eight hundred a month at best
but often only two or three hundred a month
we had medi cal to have her
and hes in arrears for tens of thousands at this point
but i doubt we'll ever see it
i think that if they make a child
they have to pay for it
it doesnt mattter if the mothers "doin fine" without him
the child is not
even if the mother makes it financially
the child does not have everything they would have had had both parents been present
especially when the father signs a paternity declaration
it says right on it what it means
its like insurance
its not to make a profit
its to make you whole
you see?
everyone gets all caught up in the dollar amopunt being affixed to a fathers absence
well
my mother didnt collect support from my father
and as a result she had to workl two jobs and basically be neglectful
of me
i was lucky
i have been financially lucky
and married a financially lucky guy later
but i s till wouldnt forfeit my first daughters fathers contribution- garnished or not- because she is entitiled to anything that money can do for her
period
oh and to MC- there doesnt need to be, especially in the case of arrears
that is the most tired, oldest argument of dead beat dads everywhere
look, if its ARREARS
that means the dad owes the money to the MOTHER
not the CHILD
get it
oh and to trublnmynd- they dont ahve a paer trial cause they didnt pay or theyre stupid
also the reason i think alot of mothers havent turned the fathers in to the da and reicieve garnished paymetns is that they continue to string the guy and the welfare dept along- playing both for profit
garnishing takes a while to get you paid
it took like four years with my full cooperation
i think alot of moms want to take money from the guy and get welfare to make more money
and browneyed girl- your friend is lying or she misunderstood
they COULDNT say that
what they could say is that she doesnt qualify for IMMEDIATE need
and that the husband would have to pay it back eventually

Answer 4

There are some cases where the circumstances are outrageous. But there are alot more where capable men wont pay. My real father has 13 kids we know of by about 9 women. My mother was married to this man for 10 years, he beat her and damn near killed her countless times. When they divorced he was ordered to pay $26 dollars a month for 2 kids. I am 26 and my sister is 33. He still owes my mother like 20,000 dollars. my mother never received help from anyone raising us either. She worked her *** off. He never kept a job for more than a month or two.Well he was just put into jail for like the 15th time over this. My mother went to csea with her lawyer and had the charges dropped. She said that there was still underage siblings of mine that could use it more. Since charges were dropped he was being shipped to Michigan then Indiana then Tennessee then Oklahoma and Texas. He was being charged with the same thing in all five of those states also. Imagine how much in total this man owes. There is nothing no reason this man cant pay his support! He doesn't keep a job so he doesn't have to pay! I have a hard time feeling for these deadbeat parents. If you cant and wont pay for them quit having sex!

Answer 5

That's a very good question. My boyfriend (soon to be father of my child) has 4 children already (3 by one woman, 1 by the other. Granted that is a lot at the age of 26, he's been put in a really bad spot.....1 of the mothers is wonderful. He can go to see his child whenever he pleases with no problem, and gives her money every month or whenever she needs it. On the other hand, the other mother is unfortunately is a cocaine addict. He had been giving her money every month for things that she needed for herself in the children, was on every type of help the government has to offer and still could not manage to have air conditioning in the house during the summer (so they stayed with me a lot) and now just got booted out of her house and has herself and the kids at her grandmother's. Being that he didn't go through the court of have a written contract for all of the money that he had been giving her in which he has no proof of giving, because it was all cash. She somehow got him for back child support for all of that time which is now hitting about the $20,000 mark. All this time she had been using all of that money to put up her nose. Yeah, he may not be around those children as much as he maybe should, I feel that she's a horrible person for doing that to someone when she could have been stuck with someone who keeps absolutely no contact or hasn't helped out at any point. We're trying to get his children now, but it's going to be a long process being the situation and the fact that in the courts, he is going to look so bad with all of that back child support and no hard evidence of the mother's bad habits. Of course he will look like a "deadbeat dad" May I add, the reason he doesn't see his children as much as he should, is because she raises hell when they come here (an hour and a half away and the only place they can really go) and are around me, just because I pose a threat. She went as far the last time we tried to get the kids that when she seen me in the car, she got mad, called the police and told them that my bf has been molesting their daughter.....whom by the way is TWO YEARS OLD...of course she was the one that ended up in jail that night...anyways, sorry for the novel, but it's something that has really been working my nerves, and your question just sparked it again.

Answer 6

good questions here and i can relate to it.i was married and we had 2 kids,we divorced when the youngest was a year old.for 17 years i gave her maoney and seen the kids all the time,in fact the daughter lived with me and my present family.during this time i had medical insurance on them and paid for thier school books etc.however i never ran any of this money through the courts.when my son turned 19 yrs old my ex hit me up for back child support for all the yrs.now it doesn,t take a rocket scienctist to figure this out, but if she never complained in 18yrs or so seems as though she was content,but not in the eyes of the courts,i,m now paying again and i have grand kids from my children, and let her rest in peace but my oldest daughter that i now have to pay again on was killed in an auto accident.i say after all these years if i have to pay again let the state have the money,but no the ex gets it go figure,this ***** will haunt me until the day i die

Answer 7

According to a Baltimore County master, the media coined the term "deadbeat."

"Welfare Reform" became Child Support Enforcement - plain and simple.

Answer 8

There are a lot of women who wouldn't use it properly, but there are those who do. My ex-husband was violent and controlling. When I think of a dead-beat Dad, I think of the one who only wanted to control and hurt the mother. Not only that but to use the child, even threten the child's welfare to try to force the mother into whatever situation that man wanted.

Answer 9

i dont know all the facts of either, welfare or childsupport stats, all i can say is what i know personally..

My best friend several years ago, her and her husband at the time got into some financial troubles..and they have 2 kids, seemed like everything that could go wrong for them financially was going wrong.. lost jobs, cars repo'ed ect.. they went to the state for help wanting only to get by till they could get back on their feet, and they literally told them, that the only way she could recieve welfare was if her husband were to not live with them as a family.. basically they would have to seperate in order for her and the children to recieve assistance..so instead of actually helping a family get back on their feet they wanted to basically break a family apart..

As far as childsupport is concerned, i have met way to many women just in my own little circles.. that have the same problems that ive had.. an x that either doesnt pay at all, or an x that only pays when its convient for them.. and because most single mom's cant afford to drop atleast 1500.00 to retain a lawyer to get court ordered papers of behind support.. we end up constantly scraping by and the men get away with not paying.. because the necessities our children need "TODAY" cant wait while we save up the money for court..

As far as retroactive child support.. my mother in law just won a case against my husbands "SPERM DONOR" since well he walked out when he was 10 never to be heard from again.. my husband is now 38.. and he was ordered to pay 300.00 a month for 3 kids way back when, and he never paid her a dime.. she had to work, and put her self through school.. all on her own while raising her kids, there were weeks that they had to eat rice and gravy or mac and cheese just to make it by.. she had to get their clothes from thrift stores cause it was all she could afford, and she hardly got to see her kids between working, and going to school so she could get a better paying job so they wouldnt have to struggle so hard.. So they not only missed out on a father, but they missed out on a mother too cause she had to pull "ALL" the weight.. she tried several times to get him back into court in the early years prior to them becoming harsh on dead beat dads. All she wanted was the money owed to the kids nothing more.. so she went through an agency to get was owed to her.. and he stopped it again after all these years stating she needed a new judgement saying he was still obligated to pay after all these years.. (hopeing she'd give up if he caused her to much grief) he owed her around 30,000.00 in back child support.. last month she went into court to get the new judgement, they added on interest to the amount he owed after all these years.. and the judge granted her a judgement of 257,000.00 that he now owes her.. This is a woman, that gave up her life for the well being of her children, that struggled , suffered, and even more so the kids suffered.. she is now 60 years old.. and she is finally getting her day in court, and a man that thought he got away with it all.. is now going to have to pay the price for not owning up to his responsibilities ...not only will he have to pay monthly, a lien has been issued on his house so he cant sell it till she's paid, and if he dies, then she will recieve the money of the house being sold from his estate... and possibly a life insurance policy will also be made to be in place also in the event of his death to pay his debt..

Answer 10

why are we so willing to believe anything our government tells us? i think we fear authority. it's not our fault. we basically were programed that way. and for the record my father was literally given his own web site. if you type my father's name in google, this weird website pops up and it happens to have a pic of my father with a blinking title over his pic that reads: DEAD BEAT DAD. i just found this a few days ago. and he owes or owed over $23,000 in support. well, he passed away 2 sundays ago from cancer. so.....who's gonna' make him pay now? i'm just glad he's in a better place.