why Oh Why Must.......?

Question

Why Must some ex. wives try to use the children to hold on to the ex Husband in some kind of way why?At least thats whats happening with my husbands ex.she doesnt get it she refuses to go quietly as they have been divorced for over 4 years Hes moved on with me ,we are expecting our first baby due in December the child that he shares with her isnt his biological son but he still loves him and cares for him and treatd him like hes his son even paying child support for him even though it almost killed him when he found out not long ago that he wasnt his biological Father.I dont know what else this woman wants she recently told him she was going to legal aid to see about reopening the divorce so that she can get spousal support and she wants 1800 a month I know its a joke Husbands lawyer already said its not going to happen but shes really gotten on my last nerve and killing her with kindness when she calls is getting to me but Im still very kind when she calls any advice?

We would love to have full custody of his son my husbands asked her for him but unfortunately he's basically a meal ticket for her when she goes shopping for him she goes to the clearance rack but she wears name brands, nice stuff My husband has even said she could keep the cs just let him have his son.

Answer 1

First, CONGRATS on the new baby! I know your feeling to some degree. I am due in October. No ex drama this way but fortunately she knew how to move on and we live in a totally different state, so if you ever consider moving for other reasons, it could help in this situation as well.

Your husband sounds like a VERY good man, praise God for men like him that take responsibility head on and moves on with his life. Some men can't after a bitter battle or divorce.

As for the ex, she sounds like a piece of work. You do not have to answer the phone every time she calls especially if it is during your dinner time with hubby or you are having family time together. Sounds like you answer to pacify her and for the sake of the child. Unless all calls are about the child, communication with her needs to be cut short. She will go crazy, but oh well. Let her talk abotu reopening the case, tell her going on a few dates with men might be more profitable. Your husband is now remarried, I don't see how any judge would go back 4 years to award spousal support now that he is remarried and has a child (biological this time) on the way. She may even hurt herself the next time she attempts to increase the CS. She'll look like a money horder. Why need spousal support after 4 years, why hasn't she learned to provide for herself by now, those are things a judge will look at. Then she may be just talking to play jump rope with your nerves. That's all she can think of doing to have you and your husband worried in your home and her contantly on your minds. If you're like me, you don't take kindly to threats. Call her on it and leave it alone. From a spiritual standpoint, God never forsakes the righteous.

As for the child, I feel sorry for him. If he is old enough, have him do most of the talking when they call. Your ex is wanting to sabotage your happiness for the new baby so allow his son to be a part of the experience with very minimal communication from her.

Answer 2

It sounds like you need to have a little chat with the former Ms Thing! Or better yet, don't answer the phone when she calls, make your husband handle her. Because, she's his mess, he ought to clean this up. Really though, more water has to pass under the bridge and she has to find something else to obsess about before she'll leave you guys alone.
As for the spousal support, don't be so certain...stranger things have been known to happen, even when lawyers claim otherwise. It sometimes depends upon the nature of the divorce, if a mistake was made somewhere during the paperwork process. I've even had a friend get a divorce "annulled" so she could re-divorce her husband for a better split of the marital assets.
Chin up, everything will work out the way it will. It's probably best to ignore her until the whole thing blows over.

Congrats and good luck with the baby! :)

Answer 3

What can I say?! Some females are truly despret bitc hes without a life. I am not sure what to do but I think if I were in this situation enough would be enough. She sounds like no one has told her off yet and put her in her place. No disrespect to you or your man but both of you need to step up and tell the broad to back up and back out of your lives. I understand the child makes this hard. But you two are making your own family now and you do not need that stress. She sounds like a money hungry ho and I wish I could tell her off for you. I can understand the kill with kindness method, I'm like that too but sometimes with some people that is not effective and you gotta change tactics. I'd see how she responds to you not being so nice and tell her to just get her own life and leave your man/family alone. Good luck, Sorry if I sound mean.

Answer 4

man oh man what a situation! You are pregnant, don't need the stress the ex is causing for sure...Your husband found out the child he thought was his, isn't. That is sad, and no wonder she is his ex! Since you have consulted a laywer and he has told you there is nothing to worry about,financially, as far as her calling and you having to be civil, well thats what they make caller ID for! If you husband wants to stay in the childs life(by ex) that just proves there are real men out there. But you could change your phone number, and let him get a cell phone so she can only bother him, hate to say....Divorce is hard. And the children do get caught in the middle, but so do the new spouses, unfortunately. I wouldn't talk to the ex if it was me, there is no reason to be bothered by her, she ain't your ex! Good Luck

Answer 5

ex wives need to use something to make the ex husband miserable... and what better leverage than the kids he loves???

ignore her, she's desperate and probably ugly too!! :D

Answer 6

BABY GIRL STAY STRONG, DON'T STRESS, AND CONGRATS,HOW WOULD YOUR BF FEEL ABOUT GETTING CUSTODY?(OF THE EXES CHILD)

Answer 7

You need must for your health.