Im engaged on 9th may,2006.Ihave a good relations with my fiance,he is very nice,caring and loving but now his family making such type of demands that we can't fulfill them.Now, my parents didn;t like the behaviour of my fiance's parents and they are saying to break the engagement.I want to ask what shall I do?i love my fiance alot. but on the other hand my parents r aslo right..we can't afford their demands and i don't want to be a burden on my parents.Please guide me
2006-08-28 21:02:37 · 14 answers · asked by mahek 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are saying that the grooms parents are pressuring your parents for an expensive wedding ... correct? Let you finance know you think this is wrong ... elope.
2006-08-28 21:17:52 · answer #1 · answered by Sam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The engagement period is the first major test of the new relationship you and your fiance are entering into. Your marriage is about you and your fiance working together to manage everything the two of you will face -- including your family and his. You two must be on the same page about the marriage and how you handle each other's families. Strong willed parents, family, in-laws, and friends can break up a marriage if the couple lets themselve become divided. I've seen bad blood between families begin at the wedding because of how it was planned. And it's usually over something petty.
Very simple: You and your fiancee should be planning a fulfilling marriage together -- not an expensive wedding that will give you your first money argument after the guests are gone. Everything and everyone else is subordinate to that -- or the marriage won't work. You will get divided by split allegiance of some kind. Also, have a wedding that you can afford and control. If your parents finance the wedding they will almost surely call the shots even if it's not what you want. Let's face it, most people want to go to a wedding for the reception and they want to have a good time -- "their" good time, not necessarily yours.
My wife and I saved up and paid for a small intimate wedding and honeymoon. That simplified everything and allowed us to make all the decisions. And we're so glad we did it that way. Trust me, many couples regret having the wedding their parents wanted.
Know that what you are going through is normal. The big unforseen 400 Pound Gorilla is dealing with family, old and new, when you get engaged, plan a wedding, and start off as a married couple. If you guys don't bond together and take control your family could rip you the two of you apart. Remember, they don't have to like what you and your fiance decide but if it's what the two of you want and you stand together (and can pull it off yourselves) they will respect you for it. Good luck.
2006-08-28 21:39:07 · answer #2 · answered by Clayton B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the demands r about the wedding it would be a lot easier to just take a best friend of yours and a best friend of his and take a cruise and get married on the ship and then u will have your honeymoon and wedding without hassle. Or just fly to Vegas and just do it. Remember the wedding is about u and him not your family or his. It's a show and a lot of wasted money if the families r not having a good time anyway. So best thing is just go do it. Good Luck.
2006-08-29 01:43:30 · answer #3 · answered by hubbys2ndbest2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you getting married or are your parents getting married?
What's up with your fiance? Parents should be seen and heard, but the decisions that you and your fiance make about the vows you are going to take are not subject to ANYONE ELSE'S DEMANDS!!!
If you start out in the shadow of your parents or his parents you won't walk into the light until they're dead.
I'm just sayin'...
2006-08-28 21:12:38 · answer #4 · answered by Dahs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both need to tell his family to take their demands and stick em where the sun never shines. What is your fiance thinking? He must know enough about your family to know that you can't afford his family's demands. If it was me I'd tell him that if he really loves you he will stick up for you and just have a simple wedding.
It's YOUR WEDDING, not his parents!!
2006-08-28 22:06:04 · answer #5 · answered by Wascal Wabbit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look it is very good you love your finace, but the question is, are they greedy? if the answer is yes then it is good for you because you know them early, as far as relationship with finace is concern you must ask him how he takes this situation and what is his response on such demand? lot of depend on your finace, if he assure you and your parents that no more demands will come then you may go ahead with this relation otherwise my sincere view is that whatever your parents do, will do for your best interest.
2006-08-28 21:10:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you give in to the demands.....it will never be your wedding.
Two things here #1 your man might end up being like his parents...so bewear.
Or.
#2 tell the parents that because of the tension you will be going to get married alone
2006-08-28 21:06:57 · answer #7 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you love him do not break the engagment tell his parents in no uncertain terms that you will NOT except there demands and they are just going to have to except that
2006-08-28 21:06:28 · answer #8 · answered by tweetypie88888 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to follow your heart. If you want to marry him, then do it but tell his parents that is will be done only on yours and his terms.
2006-08-29 01:52:34 · answer #9 · answered by jacemo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u love your fiance that much then why donot u tell him to control their parents askin that much? in that way u both can live forever.
2006-08-28 21:08:18 · answer #10 · answered by abishek j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋