how do i get more confidence to talk to people, especially women?

Question

im in my early twentys and im shy as hell. not many friends and never had a girlfriend. i just dont know what to say or have the confidence to talk to new people. ive been like this my whole life and it sucks. i dont go to pubs and night clubs becouse its not my scene if you know what i mean plus i dont drink much at all, i like to smoke my weed.

some of you say go to a bar or starbucks and meet friends? how is that done when i have no confidence to talk to people and dont know what to say

Answer 1

Hi....I totally sympathize with you...I have been semi-shy my whole life. It's not like I can't talk to people but I sometimes just feel like things I say are stupid or irrelevant, which doesn't really make sense since alot of "popular" people say the dumbest things. I have smoked weed since I was 14(now 26), and I just loved to smoke, I recently had to quit to start a new job and have not since smoked again. But I will say something I do miss it and noticed that when I smoked I was like 10 times more shy & self-conscious. I also am not into the club scene so that makes it hard to meet people, I reccommend going somewhere more laid-back like maybe street festivals, reggae concerts,music stores,coffee shops, parks (& activities in parks like concerts picnics etc), the most important thing is to be yourself, you wouldn't want someone to like you for something you were pretending to be....also don't worry alot of ladies would love to find a guy like you! Bye

Answer 2

Well...first of all, if you do not go to pubs, and don't drink that's fine. I am not sure what hobbies or interests you have, but I would plug into those places first to meet girls. Or check your local community activity list and just start to go to places, even if your not too interested to get your feet wet. Once you begin going out, then you can find other places you like. Start chatting w/ girls your not attracted to first. Maybe you could become a friend w/ some and they can also give you tips. - Then, when your confidence increases, you can warm up to girls you like. What's the worst that can happen? They aren't going to bite you. You need to be yourself and people will like you for who you are as a unique individual. When you like yourself, people will like you back. Some people are more shy and quiet than others, and that is o.k. As a matter of fact, most girls love shy guys.

Answer 3

Well,the only problem I see is venturing into relatively new "territory" but since you already smoke weed, which I do, your problems are half solved. The truth is that the only way to gain confidence is by viewing everybody as human beings and not supernatural. Trust me, I have been there. There is no such thing as a perfect human being,which is what you think other successful beings are and that is why you think meeting people is a drag. Listen, hit the gym,look good and most importantly, dont plan what you have to say. We all learn from mistakes. I have more to say but I have taken too much space already. HIT THE STREETS AND **** FEAR! YOU OWN YOURSELF.

Answer 4

If you realize that everyone basically has the same human nature and needs that could make it a little easier. We all want friends and to be liked and accepted. If you want something more with some let that just happen. It is very easy to find friends or good people to talk to, again, with the understandinmg we all want the same things...No one is better then you, you have as much to offer anyone...Go out there and get em!

Answer 5

stop smoking weed...other than that I would go out with you! so it must be something you think is wrong with yourself, physically or something? what u need to do is figure out what that is and try and fix it so you'll feel better about yourself. there is probably nothing really wrong with you. just go out and meet friends first, don't act weird at bars and don't try and pick up DECENT women in bars -- just meet friends there. go to Barnes n' Nobles or Starbucks and sit around there to meet chicks. you will be getting some as* in no time, james. you seem like a nice guy, positive there is a girl waiting for a nice guy like u to c*m in her.

Answer 6

I'm feeling just the way you described, and I know it feels bad... If I promise something for myself, it won't help because it's so easy to betray yourself.. I had a work where all the people where chatting A LOT.. Now I can say "hi" first (for neightbours, etc.), I'm not waiting for the other person to do it first.. But of course you can't change your working place.. For me helps my decicion to live my life alone, I don't need the people that don't need me... It helps sometimes.. Sorry, maybe I didn't help at all... :)

Why wouldn't you e-mail me..

Answer 7

Seriously - drink helps A LOT!

Or the idea of doing something in the community is a good one. It makes you feel good about yourself, gets you out and meeting people. I've met a lot of good friends through volunteering projects.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Firstly you need to stop smoking weed, it could make you wacko! [wacko Jacko?] you need to get comfortable with you, as you are different from everyone- the bible tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Have faith in you your abilities and then you will be fine. There is a book most people have stopped reading, its called the Holy Bible, a chapter a day will work wonders for you!

Answer 9

just be yourself and you'll find friends and girlfriend too :)
maybe you dont know what to say because you think too much about what to say, people around you are human beings just like you, you can talk when you want and about what you want, give what you want to get :)
good luck :)

Answer 10

supermarkets is where most people go to meet and be sure to check for wedding rings, just as a question at the deli counter or the veg stall, it will work