is it normal for a man to be secretly masturbating even if his wife is available to have sex with him?

Question

i caught my husband doing it while watching porno. but he didn't know it. i believe we are having a happy marriage. and i always thought we have an excellent sexual relationship until i found this out. what should i do?

Answer 1

Yes, it's normal.

I used to be married and I did that sometimes. I now have a fiancée who is everything I could want in bed, but I've done it while she was available, too.

This has nothing to do with you, your appeal, or the state of your marriage. He's a man, and men are wired to go after many different women. This is a kind of release valve for him--a safety net to keep his desire in check and to keep him faithful to you.

He might also be horny, but too tired to expend the energy that guys put into sex. He doesn't want to treat you like a sex object for his own gratification, so he does it himself. This is normal, too.

If you catch him again, a good course of action would be to say, "Can I help you with that?" and join in! (Unless you're on your period or something, which is the most likely time that he would be doing that. But if you like oral, he'd probably dig it.)

Answer 2

Just be thenkful it's only a porno and not another real woman. It's natural for men to be like that... simply look at the animal kingdom. The males of most species are out there getting a piece from every female they can to ensure they're line will continue. We used to have similar practices. This is something built into them innately. But like I said, just be glad it's only a TV and not a REAL woman.

Answer 3

Masturbation is normal. Sounds like he is afraid of what you might think. But he wants to get caught that's why you caught him. Otherwise he would lock the door on the bathroom and come out when he was finished. Next time and there will be a next time. Make sure he knows your there and tell him don't stop I wanna watch. Make sure you let him know your into it and wanna see him masturbate. Don't give into sex because that's were he is gonna go. Because he is going to feel insecure. Make him masturbate for you. Talk to him, let him know it looks good. Have him speed up or slow down for you. Then its your show go for what you know.

Answer 4

Yes it's perfectly normal.
All it shows is that he is healthy red blooded male.
It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you or your sex life. Actually I read somewhere it often means the opposite.

The best thing you can do is encourage it and be part of it.
Offer to help him out. He would probably love a hand job now again but assumes you are too tired or too prudish.
Get a porno out that you might like and ask him to watch it with you under a blanket.

Enjoy!

Answer 5

Masturbation is a normal way of letting loose the pressure. For guys it tends to need be done more often. And yes some of them need visual stimulation. It has nothing to do with their girlfriends or spouse, it's self gratification.

Masturbation gives you the freedom to get it on when YOU want it...

I wouldn't be mad, I would have walked in and said How dare you do that without me and joined in the fun. It actually helps a man last longer during sex. I wouldn't think any less of your marriage because of it.

Answer 6

For most men, masturbation started as a secretive, private, taboo that they snuck off to do as an adolescent -- often with porn they weren't supposed to have. So, you see, there's a psychological thrill associated with the act of masturbation that's completely rooted in it's origin and also separate from a man's sex life. Also, there's a control aspect to masturbation. When a man is in a relationship, his woman usually is in control of the frequency of sex. With masturbation, a man can come as often as he wants to or needs to. No need to be threatened. Let him retain control of this private part of his world. In this case, do nothing.

Answer 7

yes, it is normal, all guys do it.
They just wont tell you.
Talk with him, ask him if he would let you masturbate him.
Is better to be part of what ever he likes to do, within reason, then have him not being with you during any kind of sex.
Also, it might help for you to dress up really sex sometimes, and tease him, get him intrested in a real woman more.
But i will tell you, it is more important that your guys are best friends then the sex.
What do you think will happen as you two get old, the lust and sex will be gone, but the partership/friendship is forever.

Answer 8

Well me and my husband had that issue. I didn't catch him masterbating, but I explained to him that to me it was infidelity. It sounds like your husband has a sex addiction. Why not get that from you. Why go to porn? My husband agreed with me, which is what I think a GOOD man will do. It might take time (not too much time), but he should come around if he loves you and cares about your feelings. And NO IT IS NOT NORMAL!!

Answer 9

i don't see any big deal with it. so long as you know he isn't cheating. don't you rather him getting out tha extra tension through masterbation, instead of up in some other chick? some men take those horny urges and find some other woman to act them out on.

next time, make it fun and tell him that you want to watch. or even better, tell him that you want to watch the porno with him...then you start masterbating, too! (now that's a healthy relationship! :)

Answer 10

This is normal. Be glad he's just wacking off to a porno and not out looking for a real ho to do it with! This doesn't have any thing to do with his feelings for you it's just a guy thing. Maybe next time you should join him and see how it goes,you might be surprised.