WHAT in THE HELL SHOULD I DO ABOUT HIM??????

Question

I cant go on like this. I married my husband a year ago... and I had four children from a previous marriage. He has a daughter. Together we have a baby girl now... and another baby girl on the way... by TOTAL freak accident. HE tells me to leave every other day... when he is pissed... but he says it so much, I am wondering If I should. He suppossedly got hurt at work, he hurt his rotor cuff in his arm, but yet he can still do everything he used to do... so now we are suffering financially. Everytime I turn around he is telling me to get my *** out and get a job and to collect more money from my ex-husband to aid in the kids, etc... and blames all our financial fall outs on this boys father, saying things like, " Call your dad and get the money!" My children dont even have properly what they need. He takes the child support and we use it on bills. Our church pays our food and other bills. He provides 2000 dollars a month total. The last comment he made was....

The last thing I heard was... HA HA! THAT ***** EX WIFE OF MINE NOW WILL HAVE A HARD TIME GETTING HER CHILD SUPPORT. He sits on the couch and does nothing. HE sleeps more then I do 6 mos pregnant. He works around the house less then I do in the 59 days now that he has been off. Sexually he lays on his back while I please him.... he never pleases me,... I have to do that myself while we are having sex. I dont think that man loves me at all. He told me that this Friday which is my birthday he is doing nothing for me,... because I did nothing for him for his birthday... but every other holiday I have lived to please him... and he has never done a damn thing special for me on a holiday. This last birthday of his... I tried to do what I could... we were flat *** broke because he needed to go to Oregon and we had no money. I am so sad, because I love him but his own brother said, " GET THE FU** our while you can or he will take you DOWN to nothing, because all he cares about is him!!!!!!!!!!

NEVER once in our marriage has he initated sex on top... its always me going down on him, getting him turned on, etc... then when he is about ready to go, I get on top of him, get myself going, and then finally towards the last 6 mos of our marriage I make him wait to go. The whole time before that I went without satisfaction. I am getting so damn depressed and my whole family is so pissed at me for staying with him. Yet, they arent in a position to aid me. I am stuck and fu*****. What am I suppose to do, have two babies on my own. I BET ALL THAT I AM HE DOESNT LOVE ME AT ALL. How can some one love and treat a woman this way. He didnt even bring flowers when my daughter was born. I bought my own wedding band, because I threw the one he gave me, the used one of his he pulled out of his draw and called a pimp ring... at him... and he went and bought himself a new ring. I got a febreeze machine for XMAS.. and our 1st anniversary, valentines day, NOTHING! We DID NOTHING! I am so heart brok

Answer 1

Girl GET OUT!!!!! If his own family is telling u to leave then u better do it they know him better then u and look how he acts toward his ex and how he treats u forget that. Yes u have kids but ya know one day u will find someone who actually loves and respects u and they will love your kids too and that will make your kids happy. Do u want your kids to grow up with that man and learn his values I wouldn't cause sounds like he dont have any. Not a good example for the kids. I have rotator cuff from a accident and I still work. It's no excuse. You would get better help without him and there r places u can go to get help to get away from him. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 2

Honey I usually will not respond like this to anyone, but you need to get out of that situation. He is obvious a user. This man sounds very controlling. Why would you allow your children to be around such a person. I'm not judging you; I really want to know. He is not a very nice person to say the things that he says to your kids. I married my husband and he had a daughter, I had a daughter and we had one together. They are all treated the same. We don't make a difference and we don't allow them to make a difference. Kids are innocent and should not be subject to Adult issues. You need to come up with an exit strategy

Answer 3

First of all if your church is paying for your food ask your pastor for advice. I defiantly think counseling is in order. I know that money problems cause more divorce today than infidelity. But hopefully you loved each other when you got married and it is worth salvaging. I don't like his attitude regarding the children, whether they are his or not- children are innocent and don't need to get involved in that sort of drama. Hopefully counseling will help if not it maybe time to cut your loses now before another freak accident. This is a really tuff problem I'm sorry you and your family are going thou it but please don't let it get any worse nip it in the bud now.

Answer 4

Wow - he sounds like an ***.... no offence... and this is totally just my opinion, but I think you would be better off without someone like that.
I know its hard when kids are involved, but you also need to think about your kids - he is obviously not able to provide for them, but the government helps out a lot with single mothers.
Next time he tells you to leave, turn around and tell him he is the one who needs to leave!!! Dont let him walk all over you - thats not what a relationship, or life for that matter is about!

Answer 5

Oh my God, You poor Girl...Get out...for the sake of yourself and for your childrean. You don't need an ******** like that. He sounds like a total loser. If you leave you may not have much, but at least you will have you and the children. Your life is a mess...the only way to at least try and fix it is to leave the jerk. Remember...Nothing stays the same...good days could be ahead for you and the kids. If you stay with him things will only go from bad to worse.. Good Luck ...I have been there and you will be in my thoughts.

Answer 6

Are you sure youre not married to my ex boyfriend.? He's a masochist sweetie. Look it up on the internet. You or nobody else will ever make him happy and he will just continue to plead any illness or injury he can to make you take care of him. Been there did that and now I booted him out. He just had a new baby with his wife. Yes wife. I never knew he was married. But same story, "i have heart problems, back problems..........." i supported him for two years. Get out now.

Answer 7

NEVER STAY TOGETHER FOR THE SAKE OF THE KIDS!!! DO NOT LISTEN TO MUSTANG. THAT HAS TO BE THE WORST REASON TO STAY TOGETHER. I would get my kids and th eone we already have together and go elsewhere. I wouldnt stand for a man like that. My hubby is on disability and its temporary and he does all that he can around our home and I work. He cant do much due to back surgery that will land him out of work from 12-18 months. You hubbys sounds pretty lame reason to be off of work and sitting his laze *** around while he makes demands of you. Get out while ya can and find happiness for your kids sake and yours. If you stay you are only bringing down the kids as well as you. The kids do not deserve this type of homelife

Answer 8

Do you have somewhere to go? even if its for a few weeks? You can't just stay for the kids, Its probably harder on them listening to you fight. Get out now, while you can. Turn it around. See if you can get some government help till you get on your feet. There are plenty of programs out there for single mothers. See if maybe you can get a grant to do one of those internet courses (since youre pregnant and you can do that from home) & get certified to do something you'll love. It will be hard at first, but things have to get worse before they can get better. Sorry, but, what kind of example are you setting for your kids by putting up with his crap? you have to be strong, Hold your head high, and believe in yourself! (and don't be to proud to ask for help, everyone needs to lean on their friends & loved ones once in awhile...If you dont make a habit out of it and you return favors when you can you'll be ok)
Good luck!

Answer 9

Sounds like a very selfish man who only cares about himself and does not care about your wellbeing and feelings.

Im 19 week along with my 3rd child, the other 2 children arent his and he does not tell me anything like he does. He wants me to stay at home and do as a woman should, which is fine by me.

I would suggest leaving.......try counseling or talking to him before doing this though.......I feel bad, try your best and see how it works.

Answer 10

Hey leave him and fend for you and your kids alone. I know it sounds hard but if you want to keep living with that crap your gonna fall into a depression. And if that were to happen who's gonna take care of your kids? Not him! So you have to decide what your children need and what kind of life you want for them. I don't think it's that one. Good Luck!