Don't deal with death very well
2006-08-28 18:35:37 · 17 answers · asked by Sweets 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
We just lost a child and it helps a lot to be there for them. Just tell her how sorry you are and that no matter what you will be there. Its such a huge emotional turmoil you go through. Just be a true friend. Allow her to vent.
My wife put this on her blog:
Things you can do to show support:
q Do call her and tell her you are sorry for her loss.
q Do send her a card or flowers to show you care
q Do let her talk as much as she needs to or wants to.
q Do give her a hug to let her know you care.
q Do offer to help with housework, babysitting or other things that she may not feel up to doing.
q Do acknowledge her baby.
q It is okay to say I dont know what to say or I dont know how to help.
q Do call and check up on her. The pain does not go away in a couple days.
q Give her extra attention. She needs to feel like other people care about what she is going through.
q Do ask if she wants to talk about it.
2006-08-28 18:38:01 · answer #1 · answered by William L 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
it's a hard thing to deal with watching your friend go through the pain of losing a child, but let your friend know that you are there for them and pray for them. it is very hard to talk about death especially of a child. i can't imagine what they are going through. right now they will need all the support and love that they can get. if you still can't find a way to let them know how you feel then maybe find a nice sympathy card and send it to them.. i don't know what else to say because i am getting choked up about it myself.
2006-08-29 01:47:44 · answer #2 · answered by ro gulley rat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I have never lost a child, and I'm assuming that you haven't either, so you couldn't say you "know how they feel." I think it's hard for most people to come up with things to say. Just something simple and from the heart, such as "I can't imagine what you are going through, but I'm so sorry for your loss. Please let me know if there is anything I can do."
Something along those lines will be appreciated. Most people realize what an awkward situation this is.
2006-08-29 01:41:05 · answer #3 · answered by cynshyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's really not much you can say but sorry. Death is a horrible thing especially when it comes to children and there are no perfect words for such tragedy. Just tell your friend that you will be there for them and to ask you if they need anything.
2006-08-29 01:40:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have read all the answers and some are very good. however, be aware that at this stage the parents may be wondering what they did wrong - they want someone to blame. they may also want some space. my wife and i lost our son 16 years ago. we went through all the stages of grief together. we hated the stupid things people said to us. you can not say anything that will not remind them of their loss. go to the library and get a book on the stages of grief so that you can be more sensitive to your friends needs. at one stage of grief she will probably want to be alone. respect that and do not over due trying to help.
2006-08-29 02:16:38 · answer #5 · answered by handyman5218 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost a daughter and I cant tell you what to say. I know that people being there and showing they cared was a great comfort. I can tell you what not to say Don't say I know how you feel people use to say that to me all the time and it would make me so angry because they had no idea. You should be their for her and let her talk to you and not judge the way she grieves.
2006-08-29 01:41:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All the people who answered you did wonderfully, there is not much to ad,
one thing, if she is Christian, or has any belief in God, if you are comfortable saying that although her son is not here physically, he has a spirit, and the spirit will always be near, and in his journey to another place, part of his spirit will live forever in her heart. as well as the hearts of all who love him.
and just tell her you are sorry for her pain, and if ther is anything, anytime, or just want to talk, you are a phone call away,
and then check on her often, for a while, and comfort her, with your sincerety, and interest in how she feels.
If you pray, pray for her peace of mind, and pain to lessen, and if she prays pray together, and let God in,
and he will ease the pain with his love.
2006-08-29 01:56:02 · answer #7 · answered by Maureen K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her know that you know she is going through a very hard time and eventhough you can not imagine what she is feeling that you will be there for her that you are her friend and always wil;l be .. That is what she needs right now . She needs her friends the loss of a child is the hardest thing to go through
2006-08-29 01:38:36 · answer #8 · answered by melthule 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this really is an inconsolable loss. we lost my brother and my mom was so sad. you can't say you know how she feels and it takes a long time for the sting to go away. saying you are sorry isn't quite right either. you just have to stick by them and prop them up. maybe make a consistent effort to distract them from their loss. it takes a long time for a parent to reach the point where they can internalize their grief and focus on being alive themselves.
2006-08-29 01:45:13 · answer #9 · answered by Norman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try not saying anything at all. Just be there for them and let them cry,yell,scream at the top of their lungs whatever it takes. After a while they will know who their true friends were instead of someone being fake.
2006-08-29 01:39:57 · answer #10 · answered by Judi T 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋