I need some Help desperately???

Question

Ok, so I think I need some help. Lots of help. I am a 20yr old guy, got to college, very well educated, blah blah blah. Point is from the outside you would think I was completely normal. here is the thing. I have an infatuation with crossdressing or wanting to paint my fingernails. Basically lots of girl things, I want them but dont want to be a girl and I am not gay at all. I have a gf. I have had this infatuation since I was young and it drives me insane, and at times i feel like it could run my life, i have spent hours before looking a pics of guys crossdressed or them having there nails painted. I know it sounds like i need a real doctor and i probobly do, but i dont have the money at all. Basically my problem is liking these feminine things, I dont know if i should feed this and just ... or try an solve it. PLease Help??

Answer 1

You're having a hard time understanding your situation. You have to come to grips with exactly what crossdressing is. I believe crossdressing is caused by a combination of (1) a genetic predisposition (its in your genes) and (2) various experiences which work to trigger the expression of that genetic predisposition. Experiences may begin in early childhood where the boy hears that his mother had wanted a girl and got him. Or he may simply associate women as being better than men. He may have had a pleasant experience playing dress up as a child.

Then all this is forgotten for years, until adolescence. Then as the hormones are beginning to make the boy aware of his sexuality, he decides, for no obvious reason, to try on a piece of woman's clothing. And then quite suddenly neurotransmitters are firing dopamines in his brain. The touch of the fabric gives him an erection, and his hand on the fabric elicits an experience of sexual gratification. He may put the clothing away at this point. Nonetheless, everything for an addiction response is set in place in his brain.. . It may as well be heroin, its that powerful.

After this anytime he dresses up or just touches the fabric will elicit the same addictive neurotransmitter response. Even the thought of crossdressing will be sexually pleasurable. Trying to force oneself to stop having these thoughts is near impossible.

Crossdressers often experience purges where they get rid of everything that reminds them of crossdressing. Then in a classical addiction response they reaccumulate their clothing, often to greater amounts. Also in a classical addiction response they will try to heighten their experience by trying to appear more and more feminine, even resorting to plastic surgery to achieve the feminine look. Ultimately crossdressing will result in periods of deep depression.

I'm sorry of any of this frightens you. I just have to be honest and tell you that it is dangerous and can cause serious harm. You will have to set limits for yourself. If you have never painted your nails then don't. If you have never applied make-up then don't. If you find heels uncomfortable, then don't use them -ever.

You may force yourself to strict limits. Crossdress once a week, or try to reduce your frequency. Crossdress using only a slip and dress. It may be converted into a simple fetish rather than a form of sexual orientation. Try using men's nylon pajamas instead of a women's nightgown - it has the same fabric, same feel. The idea is that if you don't control it, it will control you. And it doesn't care about your welfare.

Answer 2

Look up the commedian "Eddie Izzard" (think I spelled that right.) He is a very public figure, and he is definately a cross dresser. Honestly, I don't see much problem in it at all. Its not like you're streaking right? :P

Honestly though, a lot of people say its a bad thing. I've known cross dressers, and there is nothing wrong at all with any of the ones I've met. Tons of people in the world are far too closed minded to accept something like that, and they'll go out of their way to tell you its a bad thing, and worse. One friend of mine in college, who still is a cross dresser, is a programer for a company that works with microsoft. Not sure if he's allowed to cross dress in the work place, but no one has ever got onto him about it really. Sure there was some name calling and stuff in college, but everyone gets that once or twice in your life.

Seriously, I don't think there is anything wrong at all. Might want to talk with the girlfriend though, just at least let her know. Who knows, maybe you two can share outfits or something.

For that matter, women wear men's clothing all the time yes? could that technically be considered cross dressing? Just some food for thought.

Answer 3

There is nothing harmful as far as I can see with your fixation with feminine clothing ect...What you do seem to have a problem with is what other people may think about it.Lots of men cross dress and make a very decent living by being daring enough to wear what they like..We women do it so why cant men? I say as long as it doesnt run off your gf..then go for **** and wear what you like. Some of the sexiest men Ive seen wear skirts(kilts) How many women think Sean Connery isnt the sexiest thing even now.. I have a friend who says that they wear nothing underneath their kilts and Ive always been fascinated by it.
How about Boy George? Or Rhu Paul? They draw the attention but they either it doesnt bother them or they revel in it..whichever they seem perfectly healthy with their manhood and have no issue with nail polish..( I actually met my husband when I we to a local pub and he was getting his toenails painted pink while he sat on the bar. He had no issues regarding his manhood.. and neither should you..
Blessed Be~

Answer 4

OPI made a line of nail polishes primarily for men. they were in masculine colors like slate and gunmetal. the line was years ago when str8 male nail painting was hot for a summer, but you can still find colors. also not all transvestites are gay. i have a good friend mavis that is a cross dresser and out every friday at the club. this man has a woman of 4 years now and she found out about mavis. at first she didn't want to talk about it. then she opened up to it gradually. eventually she was helping mavis get ready friday nights. then the gf slept with mavis. now she can't get enough. they had to curb the gf sleeping with mavis to fridays cause that's when she's out. otherwise this is a man. no gay tendancies. just a guy with a quirky eccentricity. be yourself. at the end of the day you're all that's there and people who love the real you, really love you

Answer 5

You are on the right track. It has been conclusively shown that just about all crossdressers are 100 percent heterosexual and have some inner desire to dress in the clothes and wear the makeup of the opposite sex.
Unless you are in a group of like-minded people and assuming you live in the US, it might be better to do this in private during your leisure time. People are still "uptight" about that sort of thing in most of the country.

Answer 6

anway... well... who cares if u have this infatuations??? What matters is that when u know that u are really a boy or not... But if u are not encouraged by this option... Well try this one...

What if u when u see one of this things u disregard it or ignore it.... Eventhough u know inside u that u want it... Don't get it or try it.... I know its hard but to conquer this kinds of things we need discipline in ourselves... We need to conquer all that is needed to be conquered so that after a while... We can get used to it....

I'm not saying its that easy... Even myself... I sumtyms have infatuations... but not that serious.... You know the stuff lyk I want to wear pants instead of a dress.... Shirt instead of a blouse... And all kinds of boyish stuff but eventually... I get over it by controlling myself and thinking before I do any action about a certain thing....

Well that would be all... I hope it helps u a lot.... :-)

Answer 7

It's a pretty well known fact that cross-dressers 'usually' aren't gay or bi. And you're perfectly sane :-)
If there's a counseling center at your college I would recommend you see one and I expect it will take only one session for you to be convinced of that. Knowing the facts is important so that you can stop stressing over it.
If you 'feed' it (great idea!) please do so in private as it doesn't sound like you could handle others knowing about it right now.
Good luck

Answer 8

Well to be completely honest, you need to see a psychologist. If money is the issue than make it happen. This isn't a gay or straight issue, but an internal issue that most likely stems from something in your childhood. Don't be afraid to tell someone, just make sure that whoever you talk about your issue keeps it confidential. Good luck!

Answer 9

There is nothing wrong with you, if your gf likes, what do you care, anyway?
Few guys like to try feminine stuff and there is no problem, my bf also sometimes painted his fingernails and I never got a problem. About you, you should start accepting yourself by what you like: if you like to do it, then do it.

Answer 10

I think you are completely fine but just have a certain fetish. No biggie. It may be helpful to talk to a psych. about it just for your peace of mind but otherwise, I would just totally go for it as long as you aren't harming anyone else.
You go girl;p
PS....check out the net for books/sites etc to help you come to terms with it. And after you have conquered that...then let what may be..be! Good luck honey. Be who YOU are.