i want my mom and i to be like best friends but she only wants to spend time with her boyfriend and we barely talk and when we talk she gets mad at me. how can i get my mom to show me that she loves me and spend time with me?
2006-08-28 17:58:34 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
my mom is not those kind of moms that u can talk to. she is different. it sucks having a mom thats only 31 because she spends time with her friends. wen she gets mad at me its becasue she thinks im dumb and that i have no common sense but i do. and she says that she wants to spend more time with my cousin so they can BOND and that makes me more sad that she doesnt want to spend time with me. =`(
2006-08-28 18:31:06 · update #1
and y cant she be happy without a boyfriend? all the time i feel like she doesnt want me and that im a mistake
2006-08-28 18:32:56 · update #2
i really want her to be a part of my life right now cuz wen im all grown up she might not appear in my life that much
2006-08-28 18:36:25 · update #3
Mom is dealing with some issues of her own. Mom had you when she was young. I am assuming some of that at least as a single mother. So she had to have a time that she did not focus on relationships with friends or men to concentrate fully on raising you. When you got a little older, she probably felt it was time to start living her life a little.
I am a 34 year old mom of a 16. We have a pretty healthy relationship. I will say tell her what you want in a relationship with her. Also remember that your mom has a right to have friends and boyfriend like pretty soon you will always want to hang with your friends and boyfriend too. I put that on hold for 16 years to take care of my daughter. Is that what you would like your Mom to do?
If your mom is not abusive realize that mom is your mom, but if she doesn't establish relationships now, who will she have when you leave the house.
Surprise her by doing some chores and coming up with an event that you both can do together.
2006-09-04 08:44:06 · answer #1 · answered by exhaling2day 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's necessarily the age that's the issue. I'm 32 and the mom of a 10 year old and a 10 month old. My kids come before anyone. While she's spending time with your cousin do you have an aunt you can hang with? I know it's not your mom but you seem to be aching for some love and attention. If you can't talk to your mom can you write her a letter? The least she could do is devote an afternoon out with you with the boyfriend at home. Lunch, a movie or even a walk. Try writing her a note. I hope something changes for the better for you soon.
2006-08-28 19:01:41 · answer #2 · answered by Abbey C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you need to talk to your mom . . just ask her if you can have a few minutes of her time, and for her to just listen to what you have to say . . . and just tell her how you feel . . be straight-forward, but don't talk with an attitude . . . hopefully, she will listen with an open heart and will understand where you are coming from . . . I'm sorry that you don't have that type of bond with your mom . . the mother-daughter relationship is one of the most important ones that a person can have . . I know how I would feel if my mom wasn't around, and I'm sorry that you are going through that . . . but just talk to her . . or if you can't talk to her, write her a letter . . don't degrade her for what she is doing, but just ask if somewhere in her daily life, if she could just find a little time for you . . . tell her that you love her and that you miss being with her and that you want her to be your best friend . . . I really hope this goes well for you!
2006-09-04 02:41:53 · answer #3 · answered by ♥LoisLane♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom must feel torn between building a relationship with her boyfriend and trying to be a good mom. I think it is probably hard to be a parent and also dating. Think of how difficult it is trying to get a boy to be interested in you that you like. A lot of times adults are just as insecure as teens are. I think you might suggest the three of you going out together and maybe going to dinner or doing something fun as a group. Your mom may be worried about you getting to know the boyfriend before she knows how serious he is about a relationship with her. Try suggesting this when he is there with her. I am not saying that how she is handling things with you is OK. I think conversation between the two of you might get better if you try to imagine how she feels. When she makes you mad take a step back before you respond. Try not to react right away. Give her and yourself some time together, try suggesting things you know she might like.
2006-08-28 18:27:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you need a mom right now in your life. Tell her you understand she loves/ wants to get to know her boyfriend, but that you would like for her to be around more for you. Ask if she could set some time aside at night to help you with homework or watch a movie or make dinner together. Ask if she could have dates with her boyfriend on fridays, you, her boyfriend and her could all spend time together on Saturdays and Sundays could be just for you and her. (or whatever days in place of fri, sat sun)
Explain that you really need to have her play an active part in your life right now.
If you can't SAY it write it in a letter.
2006-08-28 18:29:14 · answer #5 · answered by Jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her~tell her what you feel and that it hurts you when she gets mad at you. I understand what you're saying when you mention you want the two of you to be "best friends," but remember she's your mom, not your best friend! You can try to establish a better relationship w/her, but save "best friends" for somebody your own age.
I understand your feelings, because after my mother met the man who became my stepfather, they spent a lot of time together and I felt lonely and left out.
Try to catch her at a good moment and say you have something you need to talk to her about. All you can do is try; you can't control the outcome.
2006-08-28 18:05:46 · answer #6 · answered by 60s Chick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Moms and daughters can't always be best friends, I know I was not my daughters best friend when they were growing up, because to them, I was not "kool", but now they are almost 25 and 22 with families of their own, and they bug me to death! At least a phone call a day, if not more. I am now their best friend (can't get rid of them, lol). If you need someone to talk w/ I'll be happy to. But you'll have to give me your e-mail address first, dont want everyone and their "kids" in here, I'll never get any sleep,lol
2006-09-02 15:42:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was a teen me and my mom always wrote letters to each other,(even though we lived in the same house) and they were private and were for our eyes only....that worked out great, we started spending more time together, I am 26 now and me and my mom are BEST FRIENDS and can talk about anything together. Give it a try it may work for you too!! GOOD LUCK
2006-08-28 18:03:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you didnt say why she gets mad at you. Either its your personality or how you engage in conversation, maybe thats what keeping the mom away.I had the same problem when i was living with my rents, and i figured it was because of ME that she was all pissy and ignorant. Or maybe start with honesty in a calm fashion. And tell her how you feel.Or maybe just spend time with her and her boyfriend!
2006-08-28 18:05:15 · answer #9 · answered by The Stranger 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you cannot. The only thing that you can do is express your feelings to her in a mature way. I hope that she comes through for you if not I am very very sorry. GOOD LUCK.
2006-08-28 18:19:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋