ok i love the gay "life style" but after i have sex i kinda don't want to be touched and i feel weird is this normal? what can i do to feel more secure
2006-08-28 17:56:56 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Hey, everybody is different when it comes to sex--have you seen the internet lately?! Go for whatever gets you as long as it doesn't hurt anybody else.
Really, I think it is WHY you don't want to be touched. Gay, straight or whatever, some people get physically "overstimulated" after an orgasm and prefer not to be touched. Like it is overwhelming. Plus, the animal lust has been satiated and you're returning to a baseline that doesn't include that really intense physical contact.
Or the problem could be emotional or psychological. Since you specifically mentioned being gay, maybe you feel something is wrong because of your upbringing or because of social pressures? You have a lot of options if this is the case, but I'm not the one to help--there are good people out there. Go find them.
Hopefully, it is the former problem and you can just be funny about it. Scream DON'T TOUCH ME----IT CAN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT AND YOU'LL RUIN IT BABY!!! And be done with it.
Go get 'em!
2006-08-28 18:11:03 · answer #1 · answered by JillyJilly2x4 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tim Q,
Disclaimer:
I am in no way an experienced Gay man, nor am I a professional councellor, so weigh these words as only you can.
I'm not sure that it's a secure issue. You might think that it is because it's accompanied with feelings of insecurity. I would think that you were afraid of being left out of implied rejection on your part, when all you really need is some time to gather your thoughts.
Whatever the 'other' thing is, I don't know. I think that it's guilt-based though.
Are you able to get counselling from a professional? I've been to a councellor and thought that it was a good move.
2006-08-29 01:51:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think it is normal -- for now -- and you are right to try to discover the source of these kinds of feelings. I used to feel that way when I had a one-nighter with someone whose name I probably did not know, but I have never felt that way after sex with someone I knew pretty well or with someone I wanted to get to know better. As several answerers above me say, a relationship involving intimacy and trust is what will meet our needs. Anonymous or near-anonymous encounters are fine if you can just leave once the sex concludes, but I think your mind and body are sending you a signal that something more is what you truly desire.
Oh, and take care when using a term like "gay lifestyle," as if there were only one. Some people will not like what this term could be misunderstood to imply.
2006-08-29 01:10:36 · answer #3 · answered by fall2005buseng 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you need to get into a closer relationship before having sex. Sex is just sex. Touching afterward implies more intimacy than you might be reaching with your partners.
2006-08-29 00:59:50 · answer #4 · answered by emily_brown18 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if nothing else, be sure and tell your partner this BEFORE hand. Make light of it if necessary but explain you know it's kind of unusual but it's what makes you, you. If you told me that and I knew beforehand I'd be totally cool with it. If it's a body dismorphic issue on the other hand..... well you're gonna need some trained assistance with that problem. Either way, best of luck to you!
2006-08-29 01:35:45 · answer #5 · answered by Keezee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is the sex your having good? Are you satisfied with it? Maybe you and your partner are doing something wrong, or are not doing the right position. Maybe you should try a different position. If this doesn't help, you should probably see a sexual counselor.
2006-08-29 01:00:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lots of people are like that. i think u just have to find someone u really like or love and want to be with and maybe it will be different. i dont like to be touched and hugged etc after a shag if it is just casual sex
2006-08-29 01:01:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe try sex with a woman, see if it helps. being gay doesn't mean u absolutely have to have sex with a guy.
2006-08-29 00:59:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are like that.... Men AND Women altho more likely in men. Nothing odd about it.. just the way you are.
2006-08-29 00:59:13 · answer #9 · answered by The::Mega 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so, you like the sex but not the intimacy. just mess w/ guys who are only in it for the sex, too. be careful of hiv
2006-08-29 01:00:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋