ok my boyfriend and i have been going out for 7 months. almost 8. we keep deciding that we're not going to do anything anymore [like sexual, we're both still virgins, we just do oral and stuff] but when we're together we just turn each other on so much. sometimes i try to say no but then he gets all said. and it makes me feel bad. ive told him not to do that anymore because it doesnt make it any easier for me to say no. he agreed to stop, but every once in awhile hell still do it. and i want to do stuff but i just dont want people to find out. and dont sugest to break up with him. because i refuse to. just suggestions on different ways to tell him how i feel?
2006-08-28 17:26:23 · 9 answers · asked by beep. bop. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Just be active with him. Maybe not sexually, but in other ways. Go OUT on dates instead of somewhere private, and when you're alone with him, talk, hold him, go to sleep in his arms. I'm assuming that when you two made this decision you were trying to make sure your love for eachother was love, not lust and that you two could go without, or that you wanted to replace lust with love. So do that. It can feel so good to just lay down with your loved one, maybe whispering stories and sweet nothings to each other. And then one falls asleep, and then the other, and you are just so comfortable and happy. I commend you two on your efforts. I wish you two a long, happy relationship.
2006-08-28 17:37:24 · answer #1 · answered by Some Guy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These sexual drives are natural and only to be expected. He cannot help wanting to have sex with you and vice versa. By denying your sexuality you are creating a source of tension between you. (I'm not saying you should have sex, I just want you to understand what is going on.) Because of this unresolved tension, honest communication becomes even more important. You both must talk about your needs and your decisions, and how this situation is making you feel. It is critical that you discuss this stuff and that you each have a clear understanding of how that other person feels. This will not only help you cope with this tension, but will bring you emotionally closer, which has got to be good.
2006-08-28 17:36:13 · answer #2 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! I would love for you to do me one favor. Take a closer look at yourself in the mirror and ask the person behind the mirror what she want. Ask yourself, do i really love him. What i suggest you do is, since you guys turn on each other so badly, ask him out for a drink and tell him what you want to tell him. You love him so much right?, but also tell him you are not ready for anything like sex. Don't shy away from telling him this. If he is a good guy, he will understand.But if i were you, i will go for it. Life is too short my friend. Good luck to you.
2006-08-28 17:56:50 · answer #3 · answered by rice 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me, it kind of depends on age. If you are a kid, definitely wait! Teenage boys try all kinds of things to make you feel guilty. If he truly loves you, he will respect that you are not ready for sex. Explain to him that when you feel ready, it will just happen. Tell him you aren't doubting him, but you just don't feel sexually ready to take that step and you don't know when that might be. Also tell him that the pressure he puts on you pulls you away even more. DON'T DO IT OUT OF FEAR HE WILL LEAVE YOU!!!!
2006-08-28 18:14:21 · answer #4 · answered by Tracy O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you won't break up with him, you've got to learn to be more assertive and get your point through to him. Maybe only see each other in public places, where you can't do anything sexual.
Or, wear a chastity belt.
2006-08-28 17:49:13 · answer #5 · answered by montanasamra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him, tell him that if he loves you, he'll respect your decision, but if he still forces you about it, wake up--you do not deserve him. Just think that you're no married yet and he's already aggressive, what more if you're married?There are lots of good boys in the world who'll treat you really, really nice. Believe me.
2006-08-28 17:46:23 · answer #6 · answered by Monzi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two major components of LOVE is respect and trust. The girl always has final say. Have a gentle discussion with him.
2006-08-28 17:37:11 · answer #7 · answered by Necat T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you want to stop, just tell him that if he loves and respects you that he should listen to you. The only other advice I can give you is to do what you do and just not tell anybody.
2006-08-28 17:38:09 · answer #8 · answered by Angie, Raised by Wolves 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that's the way it is, end of story. If he's really in love with you he'll respect that.
2006-08-28 17:33:46 · answer #9 · answered by CRtwenty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋