we have been married for 7 years. He has fallen asleep next to me every night. Now he wants to become a truck driver. Good money, but only home on weekends.We need the money.We have 2 kids together. A home. But the selfish side of me, needs him here with me. I have not stopped crying since he left today. All day before he left. I wanted to ask him, not to take this job.I don't want to hold him back. I am lost........
2006-08-28 17:20:14 · 13 answers · asked by dupont24cr 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is my best firend. My kids are happy. I don't let them know, that I am upset. They are young,and like the fact that he sleeps in a truck. I feel lost...
2006-08-28 18:06:44 · update #1
part of it is selfishness on your part and part of it is selfishness on his part. if he wants to take the job for the money AND he wants to be with you, THEN he should plan for the future...... he needs to see if this job will prosper into a local job that will pay more.
not only will this be tough on you, but it will be tough on the kids. it takes a strong relationship to withstand the separation and the fact that he won't be able to help you with the kids during the week.
this is more than a decision based on more money. kids, your relations, stress, emotional support needs to be considered. you both should agree to sit down in months or so to re-evaluate what the job has done to these areas. it needs to be discussed rationally not emotionally nor should it be based on money and possessions purchased.
2006-08-28 17:31:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult question to answer. You have to honestly ask yourself why do you need him there every night. Are you scared that he will meet somebody on the road? Is it a need for security? Is this something he has always wanted to do? If he is doing something that is bring the kind of money into the home and makes him feel as though he is doing what a man is supposed to do (don't get mad at me for that, it is what our social system teaches: A man is not a man if he ain't providing for his family.), then to make him stop because of a selfish need will demoralize him and make him feel smothered, and he will resent that. If you need the money, you will have to make some sacrifices to ensure that you can get it. Cherish him on his weekends home, make him feel needed. Most men have the best self esteem when they can say that they are able to put food on the table and the bills are paid. No man that I know of has ever thought of struggling and living from paycheck to paycheck to be romantic. After a while, see how things are going, he may change his mind. The road is not for everybody. Also, depending on how old your children are, you might get a chance at some point to travel with him. You never know..............
2006-08-28 17:34:23 · answer #2 · answered by savvyd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me start by saying I've been married for seven years and he may have been home three years out of seven.he works offshore,he is in the army and he left to go to the war and he was gone for two years.but now that he his home he still works offshore,still in the army,and now going to school to make his life better and know matter how much i don't like him being gone i don't wont to stop him for doing the right thing in his life,and in his kids life and i know that he loves us because if he didn't he wouldn't work at all,,,so from someone who know it will be the best for him to do this don't stop him back him up 100%..You will be fine after a few days i know it is not easy but if you love him you can do it,If he makes you happy then he needs to do this for himself and you and the kids,,,,good luck
2006-08-28 17:45:38 · answer #3 · answered by Bridget D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are wrong. You have a great marriage going on. I think he is really just trying to be a better provider, and he must be heartbroken, too. Pull yourself together, and try to think of a better solution. Maybe you could work from home to help with the income, so he can leave the trucking job?
2006-08-28 18:20:03 · answer #4 · answered by avll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are wrong at all. I actually sabotaged a truck driving position my ex was in line for because I wanted him home with me & the boys. What's the point of being married if you're never together.
2006-08-28 17:31:44 · answer #5 · answered by orionsgirl76 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl put up with it for a few months, and then if it's too much tell the man that you need him there at night. maybe he can get something that will let him come home at night. he just might be missing you as much or more, and decide on his own to call it a day, and come home to be with you at night. good luck!
2006-08-28 17:29:05 · answer #6 · answered by 2nosbutful 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man gotta do what a man gotta do. Perhaps he feel this is more money and a better way to care for you. Give it a try and see what the outcome will be. Whe he is not driving honey he will be with you. So chill out .
2006-08-28 17:26:13 · answer #7 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are super dependent on him emotionally. Kind of an addiction. You need to get your own life. Find some friends. Help others in need. Pray for independence. Good Luck!....)(
2006-08-28 17:27:45 · answer #8 · answered by MissKathleen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not, You miss him, you want him there with you.. When I spend the whole day with my bf.. its still not enough.. You miss him so much, you want him all to yourself and thats called LOVE.. you love him so much that you cant stay away from him. Sit down and talk to him about this, I'm sure he'll understand. Good Luck!
2006-08-28 17:25:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
While he is gone you can paint the bathroom the color you always wanted and have it done before he gets back home. At least your husband works and provides for his family.
2006-08-28 17:40:45 · answer #10 · answered by c k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋