There's a drunk guy passed out on my couch. Other than make-up what should we do to him?

Answer 1

carry him outside to the sidewalk on the couch
duct tape his ankles together
set an alarm clock for 10 minutes and stick it next to his head

Answer 2

Hmm... this has the makings of a book : 101 Things to do with a Drunk on my Couch...
Some of the suggestions already made are classic. Warning, now days with current laws etc. you want to be careful to do something which is embarrassing or funny, but do NOT damage the merchandise such as piercing anything, shaving off hair or eyebrows etc. Do you want to be sued or charged with assault? CYA
So, some other ideas:
1. Take away his car keys. Either hide them or replace them with old keys which open who knows what. Try adding just one new key to the key ring. Let him figure it out after he tries it in every lock he can find.
2. Tie his shoelaces together.
3. Put paper towels in the toes of his shoes.
4. Fill his pockets with anything in quantity such as ketchup packets, sugar, flour
5. Cover his zipper with duct tape or sew zipper shut with wide stitches.
6.Put plastic wrap over the toilet bowl, but under the seat. You know he is going to need to use the restroom when he wakes up. Warning, this can get messy.
7. Put food coloring in the beer . Replace the lid on the beer.
8.Take off one sock and replace shoe, or put on different colored socks, or a pair of underwear over his jeans.
9. Sew sleeves together, or the middle of the sock between the heel and the toe.
10. Put scotch tape over the keyhole of his car and vaseline on his door handle.
11. Add rubber or plastic insect in the bottom of his beverage class. Or plan ahead and make ice cubes with toy insects frozen inside. I am told that crickets from pet stores are edible. Try making some cricket ice cubes ahead of time and add to his glass.

Well, there's a start. Please publish your book on line so we can enjoy your final list.

Answer 3

DONT USE MAKEUP! Use a sharpie..last a long time. Groucho him...thick eyebrows, mustache etc. Also, get his wallet and grab personal info., S.S.# Drivers Lic.# that sort of thing so you can sign him up for truck driving school and gay news letters and free pantyliners and crap like that....make the fun last!!!!
KaptainK

Answer 4

I say shave his eyebrows. Paint new ones on with a permanent marker... and add a nice moustache while you're at it.

Oh, and make sure you don't forget to take pictures!

Hubby says: Paint his face with iodine.

Answer 5

Put something grose in his hand, like whipcream or shaving cream, and then tickle under his nose with something like a feather. He'll go to scratch his face and plaster himself. I saw it on AFV!! You may want to save this one for last.

Answer 6

Pile as many things as you can on top of him... beer cans, pillows, a lamp, anything non breakable, small, and light enough that they wont wake up. Make sure to take pictures!

Answer 7

Oh, Nair down his underwear, hands in warm water, shave an eyebrow, those are all fairly standard.

Answer 8

some thing like that happened to me and friends, exept the guy wasnt drunk...we did all the standard things like shaving cream and the fingers in warm warter, we also put honey on him, everywhere, and put mustard in his mouth, and wrote BALLS on his forhead like in garden state, lol

Answer 9

Stick a condom up his ***. Draw penis's in sharpies on his arms, legs, and other parts of his body that cannot easily be covered. Rip up his clothes and tie him up with them.

Answer 10

Super glue is always fun, just ask the idiots that got stuck to toilet seats