my fiance doesnt express his feelings i.e saying nice lil quite things u knw ..like u look nice or wear tht dress or even says i love u?? but whenever we have fight bout this he says he likes me and he jst aint that kinda person? what should i take it as???? is he really liking me or loving me ?? or jst saying ?? i mean not once in our 1 yr relationship !!!!!!! god !!!!!!!!!
2006-08-28 17:07:23 · 9 answers · asked by sandras 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I had the same problem. I mean it took a year for him to say "i love you" he did "show me" he loved me but I grew up in a house where everyone always said I love you, when you were leaving for work/scool/hanging up the phone, etc. we also always hugged. My husband grew up in a house where he was not told he was loved he was "showed" his parents weren't affectionate. but very "caring" toward him and his sister. (weird!)
Anyway I explained to him that I understood it was hard to say "I love you" a lot, or just hug for no reason at all but I told him that his needs were being met. He didn't NEED to hear those words to know I loved him. But because I was raised in a family that expressed their love for me on a consistant basis that I NEEDED to hear how he felt about me. He then understood, and has worked to become better at expressing his affections for me. I even get i love yous instead of "I love you toos" now!
Just talk to him if he really does care he will try to meet your needs!
Good luck!
2006-08-28 17:35:00 · answer #1 · answered by Jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of men are not comfortable showing emotion. We can only speculate at the reason if they are not comfortable talking about it. At least you have advanced warning and can decide if you are comfortable settling on this before you get married. My husband was very affectionate before we married and stopped displays of love almost immediately after saying "I do". At least yours takes responsibility and does not try to project the blame onto you.
Okay, he doesn't say nice things, but does he say negative things to you? He doesn't say he loves you, but does he do things to show his love (everyone expresses love in a different way)? Are you insecure that you are questioning his love or just nervous about marriage or why are you questioning?
Again, you have a choice as no vows have been spoken yet. Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life? Try reading "Love is a Choice."
Best wishes.
2006-08-28 17:22:34 · answer #2 · answered by Jill M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Several years ago i heard a story of this man who said; I told my wife that I loved her when we married, and that if I ever changed my mind, I would let her know. The couple was married over 50 years. Some people need more than that. Think really hard about what you really need from the person you plan to marry. If he just can't give it to you, it's better not to marry him. I know that sounds cold and uncaring on my part, but marriage is tough enough sometimes, without starting out with issues you cannot change. He is who, and what he is.
2006-08-28 17:26:17 · answer #3 · answered by kayboff 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It’s true that some men have a difficult time expressing themselves. I think some see it as a weakness. But, no matter what kind of man he is, he can still compliment you every once in a while and he certainly can tell you that he loves you (if he really does)! But from what you said, he just “likes you.”
How in the world did you become engaged to a man that doesn’t really love you?
2006-08-28 17:23:16 · answer #4 · answered by AugustMan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men just aren't very expressive when it comes to their feelings and emotions....it doesn't me he doesn't love you. But is his lack of expression gonna be problem for you....if so...deal with it now before you get married instead of getting married and having children and then divorcing. Don't become another statistic. Once you take those vows....it means forever.
2006-08-28 17:51:29 · answer #5 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hes not expressive he loves u if he puts up with u(that came out rong... dunt take it negative way) he does but doesnt like the whole lovey dovey feely stuff
2006-08-28 17:20:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just feel good about yourself and don't worry what he thinks. Don't argue about this, its very petty and put your energy on the good things of your relationship. You don't need his approval....you have yourself.
2006-08-28 17:19:28 · answer #7 · answered by c k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not feeling it. If a man isn't sure about what he's got, then he generally doesn't want what he has.
2006-08-28 17:17:41 · answer #8 · answered by cami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well... if you are not happy with the relationship then dump him because he will not change.
2006-08-28 17:14:17 · answer #9 · answered by Joe-slim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋