I'm dating a guy who has kids at first I thought I accepted them now it bothers me. I never dated someone w/ kids. I know they come first and I would never ask that he deny them. He's sweet, caring, takes care of me, thougthful, something I've never had before, but nothing is perfect without having a flaw. I don't have kids of my own. People say I shouldn't be w/ someone that has a "ready made family" because I'm young to deal w/ that responsibility. I'm 22 he's 27. his son is 8yrs and his daughter 5yrs. What should I do?
2006-08-28 16:49:23 · 15 answers · asked by C.R.E.A.M. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You need to listen to your heart.....it is very hard for alot of people to step in and try to be an instant family, especially if you have never had any of your own. It is even harder when people try to blend families......very hard! The problem is that you will never have time with this man alone like people do at the beginning of their marriage. You just need to be honest with yourself and him (and for his children), as the more time you spend with them will just be another break-up his children will have to witness if you decide to leave. The earlier you make your decision, the better.
2006-08-28 17:00:56 · answer #1 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most men will chose their children over a woman. You will have to remember that you will always be "second" when it comes to those children. If you love this man, and can see yourself with him for a long time, you still have to keep in mind that he's a father first. If you can't get along with the kids now, then you will either have to change your attitude about them, or break up with this man. Give yourself a chance to meet a man without children. You might want to start a family with him!
2006-08-28 17:05:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to be with this man then you need to accept that he has kids. If he treats you well and the kids are not giving you trouble then why do you have a hangup? You can always have kids of your own with this man if it were to go that way but in the meantime just try to accept the ones that are already in his life. It is your decision, there are plenty of men with no kids out there!
2006-08-28 16:59:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This man needs to be with someone who will love and accept his kids not someone his kids are an issue to. If you are not willing to be that person that you need to move on. Not saying you're a bad person or wrong. It just sounds like you're not ready for kids or at least someone elses.
2006-08-28 16:56:21 · answer #4 · answered by desi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
keep going to remedy and do inspite of the remedy inform you to do. I also imagine that you shouldnt move lower back in, not because you'd be depressing yet because you is in basic terms not an excellent get mutually tot he toddlers, you'll harm your husband even more beneficial. I do desire he unearths someone in basic terms because i imagine which will make you snap out of it. awaken and scent the STINK you've made from your toddlers existence and your expensive husband. i ought to in simple terms assume that you recognize that you're in basic terms a hurry to those youthful adult men, they are in simple terms with you a million because of sex, 2 because they are adult men and they can examine the container "had sex with a cougar" that's it. in the in the intervening time you're messing up everyones existence round you. If I were you, id bypass lower back tot he domicile after a lengthy time period,1st throw the xbox away, then bypass on a visit with your husband, in basic terms be both of you, then do issues that make you sense more beneficial valuable, like purchase outfits, get quite each and each of the time for your self, perhaps bypass out once a week with your husband. discover good acquaintances, stay busy on the domicile, get entangled in toddlers college and perhaps volunteer, get a job (it doesnt look such as you've one) perhaps something which will carry (ideal) meaning into your existence. Being at domicile each and each of the time receives you depressed, sense undesirable, disregarded and so on.... get lower back on your toes and benefit your delight lower back. Be a mom, be a lady.
2016-11-28 03:41:52 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF you really see his kids as a potential problem in the relationship then by all means and fairness to him and the kids let it go because when children are involved there is no room for doute be honest with him and see what happens.
2006-08-28 17:05:35 · answer #6 · answered by april n 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as they don't make a point to poop in your shoes just cause they think you are stealing daddy I think you should go for it.
If you are not sure how you would feel about it then have an outing one day with your man and his kids all together. See how the deal with you.
2006-08-28 17:07:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father and I don't keep contact. It never has been easy growing up without him. I mean I have everything I need to survive, and most of the things I want, except my father. No child should grow up without knowing their dad. So basically if your man loves his kids, and his kids are equally as loving of him, then you shouldn't keep them apart.
2006-08-28 17:28:23 · answer #8 · answered by Blood Rose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF YOU CANT HANDLE THE KIDS LEAVE NOW BEFORE YOU WAY MORE TIME. YOU ARE TO YOUNG TO BE WITH ONE GUY ANYWAY. YOU DATE AROUND HAVE FUN. MAYBE LATER YOU'LL BE OK WITH KIDS AND THEN WILL BE FINE BUT AT LEAST YOU WONT WASTE A BUNCH OF TIME.
2006-08-28 17:07:24 · answer #9 · answered by PATRICK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sort out how you feel about his kids not what other people think and how you feel about him.Make a pro/con list of good and bad things about him then decided if there is more bad what to do.
2006-08-28 16:53:49 · answer #10 · answered by movin12006 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋