Question about abuse...?

Question

Reccently I have found out about my brother's ongoing abuse (if you have payed attention, you will know.) Yes, my mother knows - she hasn't done anything to my father yet - not even confronted him. I am 17, my brother is 16. I spied his journal (I know I know) and I read the last entry (ok, so a couple more aswell), and he's thinking about running away because Mom's done nothing to stop it. WHAT SHOULD I DO? If any of you are teenagers, what would you do in my situation? I need some ideas, please...

Answer 1

Have you talked to your mom? You need to report this to the cops or talk to your school guidence counselor (I don't know how many times I had to talk to mine....she always gave me very good advice). But I will warn you it will be a very stressful and maybe even a long situation. If you go to court you all might have to testify and if you refuse they could subpena you in to court anyway. If you really want this to stop and you don't want your brother to run away you need to put a stop to this! i know this will be hard because it's family but if oyu love them then you will try to put an end to this abuse. I have been in a situation like this (I was only 8) Now i am 21 and a mother of 2. I have been sexually, physically, and mentally abused. So I know how your brother feels! He is scared and probably thinks that nobody will believe him. And if something isn't done then your father might hurt someone else if he hasn't already. I will also warn you that children's services could also get involved. Through this whole thing please be there for your brother ALL the way...you might be the only one that he trusts. Even though he might be upset that you read his diary. If you have any other qusetions....need more advice..or someone to talk to email me at [e-mail]. You don't have to..just letting you know that i KNOW what you are going through and even though I don't know you I am here foryou!

Answer 2

I was an abused teen. I went to the police three times and had plenty of bruises but lived in a town where there was only 500 people and my father was a very well known business man. He even managed to get me out of a safe house where NO PARENTS were usually allowed to go, they had to meet at another place. Anyhow, what I finally did was run away. However, you can't just up and go on the run. All that will do is get you into trouble. If your brother really needs to be heard and needs to get someone to listen you need to find him a run away shelter. Most will grant a run away child (especially from abuse) a safe haven for 72 hours, the parents cannot know they are there and the workers will open a case against your father. I hope this helps, feel free to email me if you have anymore questions.

Answer 3

I read your posts but you don't say anything too specific. I don't know whether or not you mean your brother is abusing people in the household, or your father is somehow abusing your brother. Go to your high school counselor. S/he will help immediately. S/he will talk with you confidentially and then, if necessary, call the proper authorities. S/he is a mandated reporter (as are all your teachers, so if you feel more comfortable talk to one of them.) Most likely the result will be that a case will be opened with child protective services. Your brother is 17, in some states that is old enough to not warrant protective services, but be prepared that the entire household will be under investigation if a report is made. That could mean charges on mom as well for neglect if she is aware of the situation. They will also want to ensure your safety in the household and that of any other children.
Another option is that your brother may join Job Corps. They offer residential placement, GED classes and testing and after completing a training program to learn a trade, they will assist with job referrals/internships and housing. He may need mom's consent, but at 17 maybe not. The program is for young people 17 to 24 years of age. This is an option to get him safely out of the house and on his way to being independent, but it may take some time.
I also suggest you call a national Teen Hotline (see blue pages of your local phone book.) Skilled workers can give you advice and referrals in your area.
Don't forget the power of prayer also. You are too young to have all this on your shoulders alone. Please follow at least one of my suggestions. God bless you and your family. You have my prayers.

Answer 4

This is the 1st I'm hearing ur story. I'm not a teenager. I'm 26 & a parent. U can try talking 2 other family members. If u can't or don't want 2 then u need 2 talk 2 an adult who can help. Such as someone at school, police, social worker, etc... U can find a # for social services in ur phone book. U have 2 report abuse! Best of luck.

Answer 5

Please don't listen to the person who says confront your father. That is not a safe thing to do.

Obviously your mother isn't going to do anything. if you tell her she will probably tell your father and it willl make matters worse.

Go to a guidance counsellor at the school and tell them what is happening. They will help you. I know you feel like an adult but you aren't old enough to do this on your own.

When I was 17 my sister was getting ready to run away. I watched her fill her purse. In the morning I got up and woke up my parents and told them. By the time I got home from work she was gone. They did little to stop her.

Your mother feels as powerless as you do. When all of this is behind you there will be time to learn about the cycle of violence. But right now you just need to help your brother. Do that by getting an adult outside of the family to assist you with this. NOW before it is too late. For him and for you. Take care. I wish you well. I am sorry this is happening and I wish I could help you myself with more than words.

Answer 6

Convince your mother to do something about it, or else, you will tell the authorities yourself.

I say this because if your mother does nothing and you do then you will both be taken from your parents and they will both be charged with a crime. He will be charged with assualt and battery. She will be charged as an accomplice after the fact which she is if she knowingly does nothing.

Do this now and be quick about it. Your brother does not deserve to be abused and you do not deserve to be in this position. The longer you wait the worse it will get. Do the right thing. It will hurt but it is the right thing to do.

If you have Grandparents, Aunts or Uncles try and get them to do the same. NOTE: not if they are on your father's side of the family.

Answer 7

Talk to your counselor or school nurse and tell them what is going on at home. Be prepared for the outcome. Your mom might possibly try to protect your father and so might your brother. Your brother might deny it all. People will be angry with you, but you will have done the right thing if you are sure your brother is not making things up. Have you asked him about the entries? You father is facing prison, I wouldn't be afraid of your brother getting mad cause you looked at his journal. Good luck.

Answer 8

talk to some1 on the other side i.e is any aunt or uuncle u trust and m 16 n i wud feel the same but wud love to have to know that somebody like u is my sister and cares 4 me help him its really bad that some1 in ur own family does that to u ne way try to take some1 of more authority into all this its nice to know some1 cares about u at such times u know its important to ur brother tell me what happens i'l pray for ur brother n the world will b with u wen they find out dont b afraid to tell some outsider for helping u out

Answer 9

Let him know in a way that he does not know that you read his journal that you know what is going on and see if he can stay with another relative. Tell the relative what is going on and they maybe even be able to take your mom to court and have them become his guardian.

Answer 10

Try to comfort your brother. Tell your mom she should do something about it. If she doesn't, your brother will be scarred emotionally for life. Tell your dad to stop abusing him if he's doing it for no reason. If your dad has a problem and is taking it on your brother by abusing him, try to fix it. If he doesn't have a problem, I have no idea. Does he have drinking problems? Try helping your brother by comforting him and maybe defending him. Your dad shouldn't be doing this.