My husband has been having an internet fling with this woman who lives in Hawai. He says that he has strong feelings for her and may even be in love with her, but he loves me. So, I asked him if he wants to be with me or her and He said I don't know. I asked him what he wants. He said I don't know .....what do I do?
2006-08-28 15:50:19 · 26 answers · asked by hannah062199 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no you dont stay with a man who cannot decide for himself, its either all or nothing. what he feels for you is not love, if you want love he must give it to you completely, you would not be happy knowing that his love is not that strong too focus on you completely, go fall in love with a man who deserves your full attention and care dont waste your time on an undecided man
2006-08-28 15:57:24 · answer #1 · answered by haringmarumo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him that if he spent the time talking and chatting with you and devoted in to your marriage he would probably find out just how wrong he is, he can't possibly be in love with someone he really doesn't know and only wants to convey a partial image at best of who they actually are~You might want to look into what you can offer and tell him you are willing to try and make him happy if he will do the same the you won't compete with a cyber illusion!
I am on your side but what I think might be of the most help is the book "the proper care and feeding of husbands" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger, I recommend this because it can give you real insight into him and maybe why he is searching for something.
I think the bottom line is that he has to be willing to put everything into your marriage, if you are both willing to do this then if it doesn't work out it will give you great peace knowing that you did everything you could! Best of luck to you~
2006-08-28 16:03:50 · answer #2 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If Hawai is far away from where you live then don't worry to much. Besides, ppl are always more nicer on internet then in reality. He will find out that what he haves at home is much better and return and beg you to please forgive him. Men are so predictable...they still believe grass is greener on the other side.
Good luck, internet is a fantasyworld, he will wake up when u stick to your point that you want to leave him if he continues.
2006-08-28 16:00:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) He's got a penpal on the internet
2) He's not got another mistress.
Am I right... Basically he's bored with you.. No.. he still loves you but he's missing something... It's not sex otherwise he'd be having an affair locally.. He has someone from hawaii.. not a next door neighbour..
He is missing out the exotic in his life or wants to experience it.. So secretly arrange a holiday to some tropical island place.. you never know.. you may like it too.
2006-08-28 15:56:34 · answer #4 · answered by simsjk 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I stayed with mine for a year after he gave me the same statement. I would say that you can try to work it out, but it depends heavily on the individuals' commitments to working on the marriage. In any case, stay strong, and know that you are not the only one out there who has this happening to you.
2006-08-28 16:19:24 · answer #5 · answered by jive turkey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, get his head out of virtual sex. Get a copy of Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages" and read/study them together, without the Internet interfering. You initiate the action, but do this quickly and save your marriage.
Hey Diabl0blanc0, how do you know he is a bastard? Was he born illegitimately?
2006-08-28 16:03:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not in love with her, he's in love with feeling wanted and like he's a "man"again, which he didn't before or he wouldn't sought to get his needs met elsewhere. You guys should go to counseling. And if he won't go, you should go on your own, it will help you. If you love your husband more than life and you two just drifted apart, then you should fight for him. But if you are bitter or resentful, or you find more to dislike than to like, or if you were never that great of a couple in the first place, then consider your own future and personal needs. p.s. I'm Hawaiian, but its just a coincidence.
2006-08-28 16:02:36 · answer #7 · answered by alohajen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of it was me I wouldn't stay. What are you, his puppy dog that he can snap his fingers and you come running if he decides he wants you? Find somebody who knows the meaning of the word commitment - it might even be him if he wakes up to the fact that someone as great as you just walked out the door and he had to work to get her back.
2006-08-28 16:01:53 · answer #8 · answered by pugrc 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find yourself an Internet fling and see how he feels! They hate the taste of their own medicine! Seriously! If you put it in jeopordy, then maybe you'll find your answer.
2006-08-28 15:55:21 · answer #9 · answered by Caffiene Junkie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hopefully there are not kids involved....I would let him go.....If you love something let it free, if it comes back its yours, if it doesnt it never was.....Would you want to truly hold on to him knowing he is inlove with another women? I would think you would want him to love you as you love him, solely, honestly and loyaltly....If he cant, which he obviously cant, then out he goes.....
2006-08-28 15:59:12 · answer #10 · answered by Spellbinder 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋