will marrage cousling work if the probelm is hubby doesn't want sex?

Question

i'm 30 he is forty been married for 6 years we have had a sexless marrage for 4 years it's driving me crazy woundering if marrage cousling will work or if i should get a divorce. the dr.'s can't find anything wrong with him he just thinks it is his age. i've been so tempted to cheat on him and i don't want to do that he is feeling guilty because he can't preform. i have dreams of us divorcing lately we talked tonight about trying cousling and splitting up if it doesn't work out . i need help

Answer 1

Try losing some weight.

Answer 2

At this point in the marriage, what could counseling hurt? If nothing else is wrong, maybe he just needs a little discussion to get to the root of the problem.

I guess the doctor checked his hormone levels. Sometimes men lose the high levels of youth and lose their sex drive. 40 is way too young to be feeling like he does. 30 is way too young for you to live without sex.

My marriage went 6 years without sex. His hormone levels were low and he chose to not treat it. He just didn't want to bother with sex. I was going crazy and it finally did the marriage in. My new sweetie is older, but much more active in that area. It is like a new life for me. I am making up for lost time.

Answer 3

I hate to introduce this idea, but the same thing happened to me, and has to many other women: forty is NOT so old that he should have no interest or ability to have sex, and no willingness to fix that problem. The story on this sometimes is that the man is gay and won't admit it to you or even himself. He may be having an affair, whether with a woman or with a man.

Best of luck, I know it hurts. There are support groups for "Straight spouses of gays" online if you want to learn what that's all about, whether it could be your problem and how to address it. Many of us found it just couldn't be fixed, since the man can't relate to a woman as you deserve, and could be bringing home diseases to you unknowingly from casual sex out there.

Answer 4

If he's only 40 and is having problems that are not physically attributed, then there's something very wrong. Get a girlfriend to see if she can get him to perform. If she can, then you know that the problem is you, not him. If everything else in your marriage is fine, then go get some somewhere else, and don't tell him. Like all other women, eventually you'll leave him for your lover, and the problem will be solved, right up until the time that your lover finds someone else.

Answer 5

If a guy is postured interior the giving place it is a robust possibility he will climax swifter than the lady. attempting commerce positions such because of the fact the lady being on incredible and increasing the quantity of situations of having intercourse. the 1st orgasm many times occurs fairly rapidly, yet as we age the restoration time for the guy takes longer and the quantity of time earlier a 2d climax will enhance besides. do no longer rush intercourse. Turning love making right into a chore could make the completed difficulty complicated and difficult. the certainty is that maximum married couples lives are busy and worrying and each so often with infants it could make the quantity of obtainable time to delight in one yet another perplexing. set up a time the place you've a delicate lunch and couple it with a sexual interlude the place you the two can delight in one yet another. yet another theory if those do no longer artwork is in simple terms speaking. each and every so often there are underlying themes. Mid-existence brings with it different issues alongside with theory of skills and outlook on existence. i desire your intercourse existence gets greater useful.

Answer 6

This might not be in your case, but from my experience if there is lack of sex is because he is probably in love or seeing someone else......you said there is nothing medically wrong with him so it leaves it to being psychological....if he is seeing someone else then he would feel by having sex with you he is cheating on her therefore avoids it......I hope its not the case, but sometimes the truth is rather bitter...Perhaps you need to confront him with this in a round about way and see what you can find.....Perhaps the counselling will bring it all out in the open!!

Answer 7

YOu both must work out your feelings in therapy.

Sexless marriage over the past 4 years means the two of you are cheating each other out of important imtimacy and exchanging of the most close feelings.

Therapy and testing is essential for you both.Not just physicla tests, but psych tests.

Answer 8

marriage counseling may work but I would suggest that you try individual counseling first or group counseling for him.men don't like to open up around women about their inadequacies even their wives.It's easier to identify with a problem that someone else has than to outwardly admit to possibly having one.most men equate manhood with sex,and sexual pressure from an attractive 30 yr old even his wife. He's not cheating,work with him. Men don't lose their sex drive because they turn 40. look around your marriage could be alot worst

Answer 9

Marriage counseling will only work if the lack of sex is because of communication or other relationship issues. If he doesn't want sex because he's GAY it's not going to do a darn thing for you.

Answer 10

Counseling may help. He might also need to see a doctor. He is not alone, and neither are you. Give it a fair shot before you write the whole thing off.

Answer 11

Certainly try either marriage counselling or a sex therapist. Hopefully they will be able to help you and your partner with this problem. Good luck to you both.