I recently went on vacation with my husband's 3 sisters. One of them very opinionated, confused & lost in herself, finds faults in others and is quick to judge. I was the last person to be dropped off the day we drove home - during the 15 minute drive home she found it OK to complain about my personality flaws that were not mine but rather her own. (This is called projection.) . Hypocrisy #1: She said, "When you married our brother we opened our arms and accepted you." That was awsome to hear. She soon implied I also need to prove worthy of being married to her brother. This hurt me deeply. Hypocrisy #2: When I was invited to go on this vacation it was stated it was a vacation, as most would think it to be. My sister-in-law said I was invited as a favor for being married to her brother. I listened quietly. In 15 minutes her words and misconceptions destroyed my trust in her & no longer feel accepted. For those who have experienced this, I look forward to your answer!
2006-08-28 14:17:32 · 9 answers · asked by inhisgrace0072005 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Some people love to tear others down in order to build themselves up. I could call her many things, and I'm sure you've thought of all of them. Have you talked to your husband about this? Not to choose sides, but to state simply, when others are not around, "your sister shows her other face to me". As far as feeling accepted by her, her opinion matters nil, nada, zero. You will never please her; and that's not your responsibility, is it? Her hurtful words really just need to be rejected by you right now! Do not waste your energy fixing something that can't be fixed, nor wants to be fixed. Limit your time with her as much as you can, and cultivate the positive relationships that you already have with other family members.
2006-08-28 14:39:15 · answer #1 · answered by Karen? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never experience this but it does sound like she's pretty self-centered. Take it from where it is coming from and keep an open mind about it all. Besides if she's talking nasty about you then she's saving someone's behind. Communicate with your sister in law what you are feeling and how she has made you feel. If she's mature then hopefully you two can discuss this in a rational way and she may even apologise and state that she was unaware of how her opinions and/or remarks hurt you. Best of luck.
2006-08-28 21:25:09 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i were you i would be itching to give her a piece of my mind. But its best you avoid her at all costs, stay far away from this woman she is bad news. If you have to stay quiet then stay out of situations where you would be alone with her for the sake of your marriage. If you think you can handle telling her off then do so some people only understand one thing and will only stop when they know they cant push you around. She sounds like she needs to be shut up. The shock of being told off might still her tounge or make your feud worse. what can you handle
2006-08-28 21:26:25 · answer #3 · answered by candylishus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The wiser and more grown up thing to do would be to just ignore her. Do not give her the satisfaction of seeing that she got "under your skin" She sounds immature and may have her own self esteem issues.
Have you brought this behavior up to your husband...does he realize how his sister is behaving toward you?
I would not go around her any more than nessecary because she will only bring you down.
Don't let someone else's opinion of you and your marriage doubt who you are.
How do you feel about the other sisters? Do they behave anything like this one?
If its just this one then I would let it pass...like you said...she was projecting herself onto you.
Good luck
2006-08-28 21:28:29 · answer #4 · answered by kitkat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she sees so many faults in others then those faults are in herself and she's too prideful to see. You need to let her know that she's not miss perfect and let her know what she is doing is unfair and wrong. You need to point out her hypocrisy. She might not want to hear but she needs to know.
2006-08-28 21:28:09 · answer #5 · answered by hikaru908 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all don't let someone belittle you - I don't care who they are. You are your own person, not just her brother's wife and you deserve dignity and respect. My ex-boyfriend's mother would always get involved in our affairs and blamed me for everything that was the matter with her son. Let her know with tact but with conviction that you love your husband and you respect her but you will not tolerate being degraded.
2006-08-28 21:28:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people should just be ignored. In 46 yrs of life this has happened to me many times. I moved on with my life and so should you. Good Luck
2006-08-28 21:30:09 · answer #7 · answered by Teacher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's just a *****. don't let the hoe get to you, she isn't the official spokesperson of the family.
2006-08-28 21:21:36 · answer #8 · answered by Akaiwa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let it go......for now.
2006-08-28 21:26:03 · answer #9 · answered by Opinionated Texan in Mississippi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋