Why do down-low brothers so selfish??

Question

I was watching a dateline show with down-low brothers meaning gay men who sleep with men and lie to their spouses about their sexuality. "MOST OF THEM WERE WORRIED ABOUT THEIR OWN SELVES! HELLO?! Why weren't you more worried about infecting your spouse than yourself? If they so-called "love their wife" you wouldn't leave her with a death sentence. I was soo turning off with one women who had sex for the first time and ended up with AIDS by her man. Turns out he was sleeping with men, then denied it, called her a slut and died of aids. He was very selfish. I just wnat to know why don't they think things through before they play with women's lives???? I can understand life not accepting gays, I have experienced that.(bisexual) but I would not want the conscience of me infecting my partner hanging over my head.

Answer 1

I'm totally with you. It's not just those on the down-low. It's anyone who is cheating and having unprotected sex is putting their regular partner at risk without the partner knowing. Some people just care about themselves and don't have a conscience. It's so wrong to betray someone's trust and/or to use them to cover up who they really are.

Answer 2

I would say it's a social phenomenon where they lie because of the stigma of homosexuality in today's society etc etc. They don't want to commit to either a fully gay identity or a fully straight one...so they live on the dangerous edge you spoke of, lie to everyone, and hope things get better when actually, theycome crashing down. as a man I must say, that is a very male thing t do, since they are the sort who expect someone else to take responsibility and clean up messes. But I agree that they are very selfish and that I'm hard pressed to actually explain why someone would lie! honesty is always better
I would not care if my partner even had an STD, as long as he was HONEST. Honesty is the first virtue of relationships, everything is based on that.
Sadly it is a man's world and as long as society continues to put power in their hands and bash gayness, this will keep happening
I have read countless cases of unfaithful men who infected their wives through:
1. sleeping with men
2. sleeping with hookers
3.both
sad isn't it?

Answer 3

I got to say something here; first off, I saw your question on why is the black community so surprized on the d.l. issue? now this question; hmm. Let me put it like this. If I could have a threesome all at once, I would feel as though I'm on top of the world; the stuff, bag of chips, etc etc. the same with these men; men LOVE power; the fact that they are getting it from both sexes could be mind blowing; it appeals to that self gratification need and you may say it's a bit selfish and extreme; while these men are soo selfish, most of these women who do get infected usually take care of them until death; to this day, I haven't heard of any of these men doing the same to the women; there is a book I got "All I Ever Did was love a Man" check it out. it's on Amazon. check out J.L King and E.Lynn Harris' works as well; instead of saying the uggh sound, we need to educate ourselves and be careful not to cast our precious pearls before swine as the book of Matthew quotes.

Answer 4

They are not only playing with their wives lives..they are playing with their children's both living and unborn....How selfish can they be...How can you profess to love someone and then give them a death sentence( either yours or theirs). At least here in Canada (and I think in the US) this type of behaviour is illegal. Talk about carrying a concealed weapon. There is a type of straight man out there who doesn't value anyones life except his own..watch out..they're dangerous.. they seem to make up their own rules as to what is risky behaviour..I've acutally heard a straight married mans say "I can't get aids...I'm always on top"--you can't convince them otherwise. And there are of LOT of married men having sex on the side with other men and boys.

Answer 5

Amen. Cheating is wrong. But cheating and not using protection is dead wrong.

I won't mess with married guys. This is one reason, the other is that they have no consideration for the other guy. They think the world revolves around them. They stand you up and don't call or apologize. It's all part of that selfishness. I think anyone who would cheat is selfish.

Answer 6

I can not understand it myself. I think it is incredibly cruel. The very least they could do was where a condom, yet they don't think enough of their partners to do that. It makes me sick.

Answer 7

Selfishness. Simple. They don't have to deal and get what they want.