What should i do?

Question

My husband and I are going through a divorce. He is over seas and does not want the divorce and refuses to sign any papers. I am divorcing him while he is away because when I tried to leave him before he left he made things miserable for my son and me and my parents. Constantly calling and harrassing us and I went back but since he has been gone things have been so much calmer and happier. Well about a month ago he decided that he no longer wanted me to have access to his money because he thought I was spending too much of it and I never told him what I was spending it on so he opened a second bank account with his mother and has all of his money put into that account he doesn't give any money to me or the baby even though we are still "married" Is this abandonement or does it have to go on for a longer period of time. I do work full time and can pay the bills but I called my lawyer but wasn't sure or what questions i should ask. Any advice or help is greatly appreciated. Thanks!

He is in the military and he also has an abusive history being violent towards me throughout our marriage including while I was pregnant that is why I am trying to divorce him while he is away for my son and mines safety.

Answer 1

Hi

The first thing is first- you safety. Please go tomorrow morning to you local courts and obtain a Order of Protection. Even though he is away you never know what he may or can do this piece of paper can protect you.

Second call a domestic violence hotline they can help you with resources and services regarding your divorce but also with housing and money as well. The Domestic Violence Nationwide Hotline is: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). They can connect you with your local domestic violence hotline.

As for your divorce...file anyway..and file under abuse...he will have 30 days to sign if he doesn't it goes into default, but you must notify of him that he is in default to give him a chance to answer. If he doesn't respond you will be automatically divorced.

You could also divorce under desertion and because he has financially taking money away from...you will have some power in this. Yes he has abandoned you. He is bullying you and doing it from overseas.

Find support through friends and your family. You are not alone. And you will and can get through this.

Take care and G-d Bless You

K

Answer 2

I don't know what the laws are on divorcing someone who is in the military, but your husband sounds very abusive and you are right to want at least a legal separation and a divorce as soon as you can manage that. You do need to ask your lawyer how to protect yourself and your son from this man who fathered him. Whatever money your husband is hiding, half of it belongs to you in the end. Also, your money is his money. So when you do your legal division of property, you can expect to get your share and he will get his share no matter where the money is now. Ask your lawyer how to insure you get what you deserve and how to get support from your husband for your child. You will also have to work out visitation so that you will feel safe. Interestingly, if your husband doesn't support your child for two years, you can take his paternal rights away from him. Ask your lawyer about terminating his parental rights. You will learn what you can do and how to do it. I also don't understand why his mother would help him keep money from his own child. Have you asked her? Does she get to see her grandson? Your child will benefit from seeing his grandmother, even if her son is a bad father. Go into a lawyer's office and ASK a lot of questions in person. Get your rights explained to you so you don't make any mistakes.

Answer 3

I agree with the others. You have asked the right questions, now talk to your lawyer. Give him the proof on another account and how he is not supporting you. With domestic violence in the picture, and again if you have proof (hospital, court orders etc...) you can get a special hearing and have a divorce finished in 30 days. Talk to your lawyer!!!

Answer 4

Maybe you can do the divorce with help of a mediator. Over here it is possible to get a person who can be paid out of a mutual insurance.

Answer 5

i don't understand why you just don't tell the lawyer, your local police, or the military police what you just said.....he can pull the records, you then can get a restraining order.....you shouldn't be asking that question here...rather go to the lawyers RIGHT NOW. i know it's easier said then done, but you have to think of your son.

Answer 6

I think you should get a lawyer and go ahead and divorce his butt. He seems like the type of a man that would use anything to blackmail you

Answer 7

Report him to the military. He is required by the UCMJ (Uniform code of miltary jutice) to support his dependents. I have some experience with this. my ex got in ALOT of trouble. Call the his unit commander or the Inspector general at his old Base. They will take care of everything.

Answer 8

well one thing he has a right to his money and since your divorcing him i can understand and see how he feels about u having access any body in there right mind would feel and do the same thing, think like this oh your away and your husband is divorcing you while your away but he is still having access to your money hellllllll naw. Now he needs to give u some to take care of his child but u having access to his money which aint really yours cause your having a divorce to me is right. but he needs to take care of his child period and that can mean him working something out with you and sending you some money

Answer 9

MILITARY PERSONNEL ARE REQUIRED TO PROVIDE SUPPORT FOR THEIR WIVES AND THEIR CHILDREN. make sure your lawyer is experienced in dealing with military issues. you have rights that are guaranteed because he is a service member. his commanding officer and finance section must comply with all requests for assistance for married dependents.

Answer 10

Talk to your lawyer and ask the same question that you're asking here.