I'm generally happy with my relationship of over two years with my current girlfriend. We are living togethernow, and we are planning to get married in six months. This is my second marriage, so I've been around for a bit.
Our frequency has slipped to about 1x per week now, and I see the trend continuing downward. I don't know what to think about this trend. Is it wrong to say, "hey when we got together we made love every other day and we both seemed to be happy. I thought this was how it was going to be most of the time for us. I'm not happy with where our sex life is going and I wish we could make love more often than we do now."
2006-08-28 13:39:30 · 17 answers · asked by BR 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This happens in almost every relationship after a period of time.When a couple first gets together,they can't seem to keep their hands off each other,but once they get to know each other and settle into "the dating routine' the novelty soon wears off.You and your girlfriend have gotten passed the dating,and have moved into a more serious relationship.It sounds as though she has gotten comfortable with the way things are,and you are right. It will get worse as times goes by if you don't speak up and let her know how you feel. Of course,you must choose your words carefully,so as not to hurt her in any way,but communication is key,especially now with a wedding in your very near future.Just let her know that you love her very much,and that you love the closeness you share with her when you make love,and that you'd like to feel that closeness more often.Let her know how special she is to you when you hold her in your arms.When romance blooms for a woman,lovemaking is sure to follow.
2006-08-28 14:36:24 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not wrong to expect consistency. Expect it to decrease even more once you get married. I hate to tell you that, but it will be the truth.
You have to work things out now before you get married. If this is something that is important to you, let her know. If she gets mad or is unwilling to meet your needs, perhaps this is not the right time or the right person to marry.
If you don't do this, you will regret it as you grow more frustrated daily. This problem will spill over into other areas of your relationship. You will begin to resent her. Do yourself a favor and do your best to work out this issue NOW. Best wishes.
2006-08-28 14:14:33 · answer #2 · answered by truly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not happy with it, and you've talked to her but she doesn't seem to care or take you seriously, don't get any more involved with her. Marrying her or living together will not help.
It will only make it worse.
Sexual passion fades after about two years (sometimes earlier) for most couples. And sometimes it isn't enough to try to "keep it fresh" or even surprises, will not work.
It's unfortunate, but the older I get, I realize that I think it is true what they say about us not being able to be monogamous.
A study came out a few days ago that said that women particularly lose interest sexually in their partners after about a year or so. This, they say is due to seeking males who are the strongest of the strong and make good child makers.
Well, I don't believe that is true, but once you get old enough to realize that everyone does the same thing sexually, it just takes the mystery and fun out of it.
Most people who have been married a long time will acknowledge that sex probably isn't the number one thing of importance in their relationship. It is probably companionship.
So if you are willing to settle for that eventually, then a long-term relationship will probably work.
2006-08-28 13:47:51 · answer #3 · answered by Big Bear 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you've "been around for a bit" you should know that love is a commitment that you stick with through good times and bad, and that the "honeymoon" doesn't last forever. If you really love her, and are committed to her, you'll have to be content riding out times like this. It'll happen now and then. Show her you care, communicate alot, hug her and kiss her without expecting anything else, and she should come around. You have to work at rekindling sometimes; the flame doesn't stay lit all the time.
2006-08-28 14:05:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All sex dwindles after the "infatuation" phase. This ALWAYS happens ~18 months into a relationship. Then you have only love to back you up. REAL love. It's probably not a big deal.
My opinion: The best that you do is to try to get to know her again. Ask about her life when she was younger, her likes, dislikes. Also, I think that if she is having problems then REALLY listen to her problems and follow her rant with "poor baby"... even if she's wrong. No criticizing.
2006-08-28 13:50:27 · answer #5 · answered by Brad T 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wedding in six moths what do you expect :)
women can get a little bit stressed out when the big day comes and honestly we may have second thoughts some times and that is perfectly normal ! coz men do it too ! its just we worry a little too much more :)
so talk to her about it comfort her let her know you gona be there for her what so ever tell her that she can relay on you and you can take care of her, this may be stupid to you but it has a high possibility it may work .
and lisn actually lisn to her and see what she has got to say too
2006-08-28 13:54:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My, this makes me favor to smile. lately, i got here across a link given to me and that advised me that Jesus had a quote affirming he had no situation with gay acts. Now i encounter this. If I had a respectable hat, i'd tip it to you, not that you'll understand it. My grandmother says that it takes some two decades to totally examine and conceive understanding of the bible. properly, i imagine that now, it is sufficient floor to make a stand in how i extremely sense, I advise, i trust even with the undeniable fact that the element that became conserving me back became in ordinary words lack of self belief. BTW, hebrew temple prostitutes? That sounds a touch unusual and noteworthy. once you've the time, could you clarify it to me?
2016-12-05 20:31:44 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not wrong to expect sexual consistency but it rarely happens.
2006-08-28 13:44:11 · answer #8 · answered by Teacher 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No it is not wrong to say that in fact if your honest about it with her you two might be able to work it out and come to a compromise unless she has self esteem issues she should have no problem with the question
2006-08-28 14:06:35 · answer #9 · answered by anon a 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well it might sound stupid but you just cant expect them to give it up just because you want it. You gotta spoil them and rub there backs and feet and necks and get them into the mood. treat your woman like she is a goddess and she will give you everything you want in return
2006-08-28 13:44:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋