After 19 years of a domestic relationship ending horribly and leaving me with a disease, why not do suicide?

Question

I have lived with my domestic partner for 19 years. On my 39th birthday, he told me he didn't love me anymore. He wanted to have me stay at home for the last 15 years to care for all things domestic. I accidently found an e-mail address he had of which I was not aware of. It had over 2000 e-mail messages to have sex with other men, including married men with kids. Unprotected sex. Now I am hiv+, he is trying to kick me out without a dime, denying our relationship ever existed. Though we live in CA, My attorney says I have enough evidence to prove our domestic relationship, but there is not one piece of evidence he intended for all assets acquired during these 19 years to belong to both of us. I have never been single (19 out of 39 years with him), hiv+, lack of work experience (though I have degrees in accounting, finance, and pre-law), and losing the most important thing in my life, him, why should I not consider suicide. I suffer from extreme depression and extreme social phobia.

Answer 1

you were given a life to live to the full, i cant believe something so evil could happen to you, to anyone.. its just so sad, and as for your husband giving you HIV you could sue him or take him down for GBH, plus he lied about his sexual orientaton....
just think heres always someone worser off than you, just keep your head up high and live life to the full, use the life that god has given u, and dont let that d*** head of an evil husband bring you down, plz dont commit suicide, the world needs more kind ppl in it than evil ppl, if you leave this world then yet another evil do-er has won.. plz find your meaning of life, sue your husband and travel the world, start a new life, try recieving counselling.. i truly wish you all the best.. please dont commit suicide, theres ppl out there that are terminally ill that want the extra time of life, HIV positive can be helped its not the end of the world, it maybe hard to believe but medication can help you live a normal life.. just dont give up, your guardian angel will help and support you.. goodluck dont give up
if your a gay man jst change all the shes i put above to hes, and husband to partner then the answer will be in the correct context..
also i would like to add why dont you become a lawyer or start a profession that could help people like your self in your situation, because you have the experience you could go round teaching and lecturing schools or something about the dangers of unprotected sex or something, you could help ppl learn, and help ppl to have better lives that are in your situation

Answer 2

I am so sorry Hun this is just devastating for you. Please seek counseling you can't handle this alone. I send you hugs I will look to see what I can find for you.Also though this is heartbreaking others have been through this too. Now is the time to take care of you,we know he is a bad person you need not carry that on your shoulders.I am sorry for those heartless comments.
Hang on there you are being prayed for
☆´¨)
.·´ ¸.·★¨) ¸.·☆¨)
★(¸.·´ (¸.*´ ¸.·´
`·-☆ ~*Angel M*~
The link below is to a Latin group about HIV, go there sign up and ask questions. You must take responsibility now for your health ,no one else will. Just know you have great value,you are here for a reason God loves you very much and there are people who care about you. Hang in there♥
* note alot of people seem to be misreading your post, she is the married partner of a very selfish man who had affairs (unprotected sex) with gay men without her knowedge. He gave her this sickness. Her husband owes her a life but God will take care of the details she need only focus on her ,she is what is important. That lawyer should earn his money.
See dear lady see how many are here for you,no suicide ok. The world would be a sadder place with out you in it.

Answer 3

Why is HE the most important thing to you ?
YOU are the most important thing to you.

You don't need something like this. You know what, I am really sorry to hear that this has happened to you, and I've had a very similar situation occur in my life, but suicide is not worth it.

Everyone takes a chance when they fall in love and decide to go forth in a relationship, you are not the only one who has done this and gotten hurt. And I know how much it can hurt, and believe me, I know what you feel like. But everyday that you live your NEW life WITHOUT this scum, I promise you....will be better.

If your lawyer says you have a chance, let him handle it. It's not for you to worry about what your partner says or does. He's bound by laws, not what he thinks he will do. Or how much he thinks he can get away with.

Keep your head up, and look to the future using those skills you have. Do you know that when we get in relationships or get married, a great part of us "dies"? We forget who we are and what we're about and what interests US, because we're too busy being all things to someone else.

Well, like I said, if I came out of it, I know that you can, too. And you will be a much better person for it. Good Luck and be the person YOU were meant to be.

Answer 4

First of all let me say how very sorry I am that these things are happening to you. While I cannot speak on behalf of your ex's feelings I can tell you his actions are horrible and unforgivable!! You are better off with out him. He sounds like a cold hearted selfish person!!
You need to get yourself out of that situation. Do not commit suicide, there is a reason why you are still living. Take what little you have and work with it! Use this experience to somehow make it better. Educate people about HIV, and above all else get some serious help for yourself.Your life doesn't have to be over!! Stick it out and take it minute by minute if you have too!! Good LUCK!

Answer 5

Wow, you have alot going on here honey. But ditch the suicide idea...he's not worth giving your life for. I know your lawyer said that you don't have a case against filing for any type of compensation, but he's wrong. You can sue him for giving you aids, especially if he knew he had it....talk to your attorney about this. There are not alot of cases to study the history from, but when I was going to school, I sat in on a case like this for class and the lady won and was awarded compensation. The kicker? It only took two peices of paper to convince a jury. The doctor visit report in which he learned he had aids, and hers, which were almost a year in difference. Seriously ask your attorney.

The next thing was that you mentioned you have all these degrees that you aren't using. They only mean something honey if you put them to good use. And if social contact frightens you, get a good resume, send it out and work as an indpendent contracter from the comforts of your own home.

When one door closes, God has this way of opening another one, even if the hallway we walk through to get there is filled with hell. You'll make it honey, hang in there.

Answer 6

well first, what a Scum Bag he is! he gives you hiv, then decides at his whim, He no longer needs you,like your trash to kick to the Curb, well i know it may not seem you have anything to live for, but Do Not give up or even Consider Killing Yourself! theres (nothing) or noone worth doing that for,nobody! there are Breakthrus Everyday in Modern Medicine's, if you were to take your own life tommorow, there would be a Cure the Next day, trust me when Problems Compound it does feel like the world is on Your Shoulders. theres people who love you ,and they would suffer to if you checked out! you need to just forget about him, join a support group, church and even if you die from the hiv he gave you. you will be loved by the New people you met.god bless you i really mean that!

Answer 7

My husband was left alone by his wife with whom he had had a 19 years long relationship too!!! She left him cause he was diaginosticated with brain cancer, and she could not handle his frequent seizures and the symphoms of the treatment.
He was a way down on the dumps when we met, he was still weak with the treatment and weak on his heart and soul too.
Anyway we have lived a wonderful love story and today he is ok, no seizures anymore even though he is not cured they found a medicine that can keep him normal, and he is much better than before!! Hold on. God has something great coming from you and it may be right down the corner. Take care of yourself so you make sure you will be there when it comes.

Answer 8

throw that asssss hoooole in jail for attempt of murder dont feel bad you can have a good life and live healthy look at magic Johnson my aunt also has HIV and has been living well now for 15 years and even found a boyfriend who loves her and understands i don't think they have sex but they are so happy this is not the end for you baby but you need to put him in jail and file a civil case against him good luck if you need a friend email me im so sorry what a scum bag.hugs and kisses feel better cheer up this is all in gods hands.

Answer 9

It's easy to say, i understand you, no i can't , nobody could, every problem and situation is different.
I've been up and down a lot, at this time extremely down, financial, love life, health,....Above all, Lost my father when leaving abroad, Recently lost my sister and believe me list goes on and on.
One thing i learned through out the life that, No matter of the debt of a problem, If you hang on tough, time will takes care of it and you will be all right....I know it is very very hard but you can do it...
My love and sympathy to you...Just hang on sister......All the best.

Answer 10

In your place I would seek counseling, continue with your attorney, and realize that there are others who have been in your place and have survived just fine....Get into a support group for gay men, as well. Being told you are no longer loved hurts whether you are straight or gay, and yet we all survive. And hiv+ is treatable, not curable, but treatable. And there is a website for people as you -- positivepartners.com. Good luck, sweetie..