is this legal and what can i do about it?

Question

ex husband had the kids on his weekend, he let the little trollop my 13 yo son is seeing spend the night, who can i have arrested here, her parents or my %^%^^&% ex? That has got to be endangering the welfare of a minor or something, I dont even let her come over to my house anymore since they cant keep hands off, and they have to be seperated in school too.

ps, my ex has given him condoms, which i guess makes him a responsible adult? pps, my ex has at least two other kids, so i dont know how well he has taught him to use condoms, ppps, I dont know if he gives my sons any, but he smokes dope, and i know we stole dope from my friends parent when we were that age

Answer 1

I would have thought you and the school would have had a talk about this so a record of it may be used in the future,,, like NOW. Most guidence counselors will work with you in these juvenile issues. As you know you can always go back to court and have them issue new orders regarding custody and or visitations which might solve the problem both in school and at home. Your X obviously doesn't have his best interest in any of the kids you spoke of if he is allowing this under his roof. To answer your initial question ..NO this is not legal. They are all minors with the exception of your x whom you should be pursuing through the courts.

Answer 2

I think your ex is doing the right thing by giving your son condoms. Obviously your son is sexually active, so that is the safest option. Whether you agree or disagree with your son having sex with this girl, he is doing it regardless, so at least you wont lose him through AIDS and/or an unplanned pregnancy.

I am wondering if you would prefer your son to have sex with this girl in the local toilet block. He is going to have sex with her whether you want him to or not. Maybe your ex is choosing the lesser of two evils. At least he knows where your son is and he is not sneaking around in places to have sex with this girl.

And you call this girl a trollop....Why would you call her a trollop. Kids have feelings too, would it be too much to understand that maybe these two people have feelings for each other? They may be kids, but they are people with valid feelings. Just because you have made a judgement about their relationship doesnt mean to say that is the case. Have you talked to your son about his feelings for this girl. And the mother of this girl may not even know she spends the night with your son. She could be telling her mother she is at a girlfriends house.

You not letting this girl come over to your house will ultimately drive your son away. If you want to keep your son, then you need to start understanding things from his perspective. Your son is getting to the age where he can choose to live with his father full time....do you want that to happen?

Talk to your son, try to find out if he "loves" this girl. If he does, then nothing anyone can do can change those feelings he has for her. You probably can get the law involved, but what will that ultimately achieve....You will lose your son.

Maybe what you need to do is to set up some guildelines. Allow this girl to come over, but tell them both what you expect. You may be allienating this girl, but you are also allienating your son as well. You have to decide what is more important....loving and respecting your sons feelings, or your moral judgements. You really are forgetting that kids have feelings too...it isnt just adults who are allowed to feel love.

Answer 3

I don't believe it is illegal to let a girl spend the night, especially considering she had the owner of the house (your ex husbands) permission. Kids have co-sleepovers all the time, and I am sure the cops are not intrested in having their time wasted on some teenagers spending the night together. They were not at your house, so I don't think there is anything you can do. The only thing I believe that can be done is to talk to your ex husband about this... and possibly the girls parents if you know them (don't start a fight with them though or accuse them of anything and most certainly dont call their daughter a "trollop" in front of them...... whatever the heck that is...)

Answer 4

Yes that is illegal you can call the police and tell them. Call social service and have the police drop by at night on the weekend. Your husband will be in trouble as will the parents of the little trollop. She will go into a foster home and probably you may get custody of your son if they do not put him in a foster home. You ex as an adult is responsible for what happens in his house. He is probably just thrilled that his son is getting sex and he may be getting it too. Who knows. But that is certainly a situation for social services.

Answer 5

Without knowing all the details here all you have is an innocent sleepover, which is not illegal. You would have to have concrete evidence that something else happened otherwise all youve got is speculation or hearsay but nothing to charge someone with that would hold up in court. Now you can warn your ex if this behavior happens agian against your wishes, youll have his visitation rights revoked or modified to include no overnight visitation if it involves a possible criminal activity. Fro what you said, Id doubt your son would back you up if Dad is letting him see his girlfriend. In other words Dad is slowly turning your son against you by doing so. But just remember please if you take this further, you will need solid evidence or else the court will never believe you in case you really do have something.

Answer 6

If your husband smokes dope, you can probably report him to social services. Ask them first what they can do.

Then you can go to court and ask that visitation be limited to supervised visitation.

I have had similar circumstances and they did very little. My son's dad went on vacation and left his wife's three children by two other men alone(ages 6,7 and 15)!!! He left my son in the care of one of those three children who is a juvenile delinquent who was later charged with possession of drugs at school. My lawyer said that nothing can be done because the father was not on the drugs and the father did not live with his wife when they went on vacation and left the kids alone. It has been a nightmare for me. It is hard enough raising a child on my own without having to try to correct all of his father's misteps of which there are many.

Answer 7

Talk to the divorce lawyer that set up the visitation. No one should let their 13-year-old spend the night with their girlfriend. Your husband can always say that they had separate sleeping quarters or some such thing, but there's really no good reason for her to even be in the house overnight.

I don't know what your options are, but you could probably get your husband's visitations limited or supervised. The man is showing extremely poor judgment.

Answer 8

my recommendation is talk to that ex husband of yours and set it straight about that trollop, what the hell was he thinking or was he trying to be the cool dad, and what parents of the trollop would let their daughter stay at a boy's house. I have twin girls that are 13 and there would be no way in hell that they would be sleeping at a boy's house. there is obviously more to her story such as her home life. Good Luck and hopefully something works out for you.

Answer 9

If her parents know about it, I don't know what you can do really, call the local police station and ask them if he is endangering minors, also point out to the ex that you will not be responsible for any grandkids that happen on his watch. Maybe you can mention to your atty. the situation because that doesn't sound right to me they are barely just learning about their little parts they don't need to explore each others at such an early age!

Answer 10

You need to take responsibility and have your child visitation modified. Your X---should be X'd out of your childs life or at least put on temporary notice.

Your 13 yr has learned his sexual activity from both of you. It's not only your X's fault....but your's as well for allowing your 13 yr old to display bouts of PDA. Supplying him with CONDOMS....and allowing a girlfriend to spend the night.....GEEZ... What are you both thinking and what kind of message are you giving your 13 yr old to condone such behaviour ....????

Seek out legal counsel and have your visitation ordered to be limited and supervised! Until your X learns that this kind of NON-parenting isnt acceptable then he doesn't need unsupervised visitations with his son!