I think marriage has been idealised somehow. People don't realise that in a marriage, you fall in and out of love, therefore, it shouldn't be grounds for divorce. People cheat, it is common. but forgiveness is key and especially with children, any marriage is worth fighting for.
No one wants to fight for their marriages. People are selfish, put their own sexual/emotional needs above their children, don't forgive their spouses and then everyone wonders why we have such a high divorce rate!
Bottom line is: know the person who you intend to marry well before you actually do and know them well before you sleep with them, then when you do get married; expect the worst! --bad things happen in life and your going through life together, sticking with it and becoming best friends through a team partnership is the key to a rewarding successful marriage and happy family home!
Everyone needs to get the marriage ideal bullcrap out of their heads and be willing to give more than get back
2006-08-28 13:04:05 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
YOU ARE SOOOOO RIGHT!!! Congratulations. Nowadays getting divorced is at least ten times easier than fighting for a marriage. There was a time when people would be ashamed of saying they were divorced, but nowadays people are more ashamed of trying to hold on to a marriage.
I agree with you, people just tell each other 'i will make you happy', 'I will give you the things you have never had', "I will take care of you', etc, but it is all bs. cause the spouse hardly comes first on each other list of priorities, so when the money is short, you cut on the things for your partners, if you are nervous cause of work guess who will throw your frustation on?
I agree with you people who wanted to get married should be willing to GIVE much more than what they will ever get, and not being thanked for that, as the other part will think it is your obligation. WIth that and MUCH luck you could get your partner to do the same for you someday. I guess marriage is for people such as Mother Teresa and Mahatma Gandhi!!!
2006-08-28 13:14:35 · answer #1 · answered by Graça 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
But what if no children are involved? & what if the spouse is a habitual cheater & the other person had no idea & only found out after they'd been together 6 years? That was me- I basically caught him & told him to stop but he said he couldn't- but also he won't lose me... u know what he's trying to do? He said I'd get you anything you want (material things) but you can't tell me to stop. R u saying I should've stayed & not be selfish & tried to work on the marriage while he refused to change his ways?
I'm usually nice but you & your idealistic view can go to hell b/c everyone has different circumstances.
BTW- I didn't sleep w/ my ex hub until 4 months after began dating & we got married almost 2 years after dating. We're still close but we're only strictly friends now & although our marriage didn't work out the friendship was always there and it stays that way.
Anyway, I hope you don't have to experience your hub cheats on you multiple times over the years & only found out about it after so many yrs. You say people have to forgive & put aside their own ego- well guess what talk is easy. Just wait until it happens to you & see how well you could handle that.
2006-08-28 20:11:35 · answer #2 · answered by Bobbie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes i agree with this but you also have to take into account that the levels of abuse are rising and in some cases divorce is better for the children then the marriage itself. Some people don't show there true colors until they are married then what you think they are stuck. If you married a man you've been with for 3-4 years then all of a sudden he starts abusing you mentally or physically your suppose to stick with it?
2006-08-28 21:15:36 · answer #3 · answered by anon a 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You go girl!! I'm with you. People are so flip when it comes to marriage....they don't have a clue what it means. And they are so quick to walk away from it because it doesn't suit them at that time.
And so many people are getting married for all the wrong reasons and like you said.....without really knowing their spouse. No wonder the divorce rate is so high!!!
Very well put!!!
2006-08-28 20:13:28 · answer #4 · answered by Tony 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Marriage takes real effort... Heart and soul... It is not just about the picture perfect life.... That is non-existent... I have been married to my hubby for going on 14 years.... We have had our ups and downs... And weathered many storms.... huge ones and over the course have grown stronger more in tune with the others feelings and some times he knows me better than I know myself.
It is a work in progress that is not always glamorous. But is worth more to me than any other relationship I have encountered.
Sometimes I have to give 80% and he 20%. And at times he has to give 90% and me 10%... It just works this way.. To know we are not perfect nor pretend to be... But, having said that, I am ever so grateful to be married to my best- friend. â¥
2006-08-28 20:20:13 · answer #5 · answered by Not Spoiled Just Loved♥ 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Excellent explanation of committment and taking marriage seriously. In today's disposable society it appears that relationships are also that way as lots of people refuse to fight for what they once believed was eternal.
2006-08-28 20:10:30 · answer #6 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Is there a question in here somewhere? Or are you just ranting about the failings of other people?
2006-08-28 20:09:34 · answer #7 · answered by khor003 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
what a soapbox you're on tonight. any reason why?
2006-08-28 20:10:26 · answer #8 · answered by joe_smo_red 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋