Why are people in this society always more concerned about their own 'happiness' over the needs of their kids?

Question

I would say that selfishness is the first sign of decay in society and it starts with the commitment of marriage and raising a family.
People who seek "happiness" all the time usually end up jumping from the frying pan into the fire and end up not just as miserable as before, but alone and poor.-- any thoughts?

Answer 1

AMEN. If that ain't the truth I don't know what is. Why does it take some people so long to realize this. It is completely childish to be so selfish and we see it everywhere. It has become so excepted by our society. It is at the root of so many of our problems. You've made a wonderful point and I agree with you and I thank you.

HHHHEEELLLOOO people, depression is selfishness. when people are depressed it is usually because they are too focused on themselves and their problems. GET OFF YOUR PITY POT and stop thinking so d*mn much about yourself and think more about your family and things will get better!

"taking care of number 1" so to speak is morally and ethically wrong and someday you will certainly pay for your selfish ways (and the selfless will be greatly rewarded)

Answer 2

Marriage is a commitment to be taken seriously.
Relationships are hard work, some people do not understand what it takes to keep it all together, and some relationships do grow apart from each other. This is unfortunate when they have children, breaking up a family is never easy. Children cannot understand the complexities of an adult relationship, so sometimes they tend to blame themselves. Parents should remind their children that they will always be loved by both parents. No one should stay in a marriage where there is no longer love and respect. Why? Because this teaches the kids how to have an unhealthy marriage, and that you must sacrifice your happiness for your whole life to avoid being "selfish." Sometimes it is okay to be selfish. In reference to your question, you can be poor and alone by yourself, yes. You can also be poor and alone and living with someone. Someone living with you does not insure happiness, or even mild contentment. Money has little to do with it also. There has to be a bond there to the other person, there has to be a love connection to make it work. If you can find that in someone, and you both work hard at keeping that love alive you have something very special.

Answer 3

I know that not all people are selfish when it coems to their kids. I work full time, go to college and raise my dtr. I never go out, because that is her time and I don't even do my homework for college if she is up- I wait until she is sleeping because I don't want to neglect her. Her father and I were not a good match so I am raising her without him, because he is an a**. I think I did the right thing, because I can not even imagine her and I living in a miserable life with him. I do my best for her and worry about her happiness and her needs before mine.

Answer 4

The world isnt having these problems and to be honest that viewpoint is pretty depressing and a very unhappy statement. It seems like your shadowing your situation on the rest of america. Infact, more people get married for their children than for any other reason. The majority also get divorced because of them too but that has nothing to do with being selfish. And selfishness isnt the first sign of decay. Its the age old principle of survival of the fittest. You have to learn to take care of #1 and when you can do that, you will find "happiness". A very smart person once said, when your calling somebody selfish, your usually the one being selfish. Pick up a psychology book you will never picture life the same.

Answer 5

It's because the previous generation raised some selfish individuals. I agree with you when the family unit is no longer part of society then we no longer have a Strong society. It started with the free love generation of the 60's where it was OK to screw and move on. Look at the legacy our parents and grandparents have left us with.

Answer 6

Happiness is not selfishness. Happiness is a choice that we as humans must make for ourselves. Thus we are not responsible to "MAKE" anyone happy. It is an emotion, and way of being...a choice to accept whatever life is or whatever road we drive ourselves. What choices I make for my life are my choices and how other people choose to emotionally tolerate my decisions are based upon that....a choice to be whatever we individuals choose. Now that goes with saying as well that I do not have the choice or right to physically harm any human.....but I have the choice to be me and be happy no matter what others think and feel. In final when you say jumping from the frying pan into the fire and end up not just as miserable as before, but possibly worse???? Definition of insanity.....Repeating the same thing over and over and expecting a different result...I heard that some where. As for our children they should have their needs met, and our responsibility lies in teaching them how to choose to be happy.

Answer 7

I know someone just like that...I went to school for 3 semesters and would've been finished but at home the money was tight so I decided to quit school and go to work because even though my dream was to succeed in education my kids needed me at home...my sister-in-law was encouraging me to stay in school and don't worry so much about money because she said when I'm done with school I'll be making the money...although this is true, having kids herself, she doesn't realize how much your child needs you to be there both physically and emotionally and just because you want to fulfill your dreams and goals doesn't mean you have to do it now and worry about your kids later...I just feel like telling her to freaking stop being selfish and worry about your kids and finish school later...it's not the end of the world...

Answer 8

I am actually sad that it is reality that this question has to be asked. I am an adult, and can only speculate about the children part, because I have not been lucky enough to have one. I purposely did not plan to get pregnant until after marriage, and only married in Dec. 2004. I believe that in general, that people that do not put their children first are either mentally children themselves ( self-occupied) or almost they are overwhelmed and resort to looking for extra work to support the children, which takes time from them, or looks to seek help and relief in their involvements with a loved one, or drugs, or drinking. But for the majority of parents, they are very concerned about their children and are striving to provide for them by working very hard, and possibly seeming too strict by their children, when in fact that they are trying to love and protect them. I am sorry that your personal experience or view of this subject lead you to that belief, but please know that there are many parents out there that would die for their children if they had to.
When I was growing up, my Mom and Dad divorced, and my Mom had to work for the first time. At times she worked three different jobs in order to provide us with food, shelter, and let us pursue our passion. My passion was art and dance. My Mom took us kids to practice 3 times a week, and took us to our parades every Saturday after working all night. When I was at that age, sometimes she would yell at me, seem mean, and just made me feel really misunderstood and not appreciated.
Now, as an adult.........I see. The sacrafice she made for us after our Dad left, and that she gave up dating, sleep, her passion, to be with us. I dont know how old you are, but in my case? The older I get, the smarter and braver I see my Mom.
At least you have your priorities straight: Committment, marriage, and family!

Answer 9

I think that kind of started in the 60's, with the "Me" generation. People started to think that it was OK to just do for themselves, with no regard to their spouses or there familys. You're right, it's all about being selfish, and it's a sad state of affairs that we live in when all we think about is ourselves. Good luck and God Bless!

Answer 10

all most all peolpe think what about me not about there kids feeling . but in the end its the kids get hurt the the marriage gos to sh t .Eg: two people start to have a framily 18 years go by girl gets i wait to go out the have more fun . 1. she gots out hooks up with a gal dones the bussiss and goes home to hubby and kids like its OK ? not in our life hubbyy found out and sh t hits fan . 2. hubb and wife go out and she leave him seating alone Eg ; she chatting gal .so he one talks nicely to her or walk with 4 kids

answer is its all aways good to see what and say kids firts so our feeling and theres are all good we do what we have to do to make our family's happy ,safe ,loving,but most of all we try to bring them up be nice person.